Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Having a relationship with a flatmate, can it work? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I'm in my first year at uni, and yes I've heard the saying 'don't **** wear you eat' and all that, but after a drunken night out, I ended up sleeping with one of my flatmates. We were good friends before, but ended up closer after, spending a lot of time together, and consequently ending up in a friends with benefits situation.

    Because we were such good friends before we're actually moving in together next year along with another friend of ours. Now both of us have admitted we have feelings for each other, went on a date, but we're still a bit cautious about the whole situation.

    I have a third year friend who lived with her boyfriend for her first year at uni, and then broke up with him, and still lived with him by herself for the second year, and she said if she managed it, so could we. This has been going on for about 2 months now, and I really like him, as does he, but it's a conflicting situation. Thoughts?
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    At least you know it can be done.

    I can't speak from experience but here are some things I have thought about.

    I'm not sure how long you have left to have accommodation sorted - I'm guessing 2 months or so. It'd be great if, in that time, you figure out if you want to see the relationship through but that's quite a short time frame and those things can't be rushed.

    Setting aside your feelings, think about them as a person. Are they a good flatmate right now? (Helps to tidy up, keeps stuff clean and organised, isn't disruptive in any way). If things went really badly, would they be the type of person who can keep the past in the past? Are you also that type of person?

    Also think about your relationship with them. By this time next year would you feel comfortable being with this person? It's quite a big step to move in with someone. Some relationships can survive that but others just need some space from eachother. This may be hard to gauge right now and may be a different question entirely.

    Just some q's to think about.

    Yest it can

    How long have you know him? Did you know him before uni? If not, you'll have only known him maybe two months max? If so, I'd advise against it. I think it's a lot of pressure to be in a relationship/sleeping with someone and living with them. Also, you may think you'd be able to live together if the break up was amicable but what if it wasn't?

    I would personally look to live with someone else. Things could go wrong very quickly.

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    I've been with my house mate for a year, this will be my second year living with him.

    Yes you can be in a relationship with your house mate. But don't be naive in thinking nothing can go wrong, and understand that if something does go wrong you still have to live with them and pick up the pieces with them constantly being around.

    So I advise you not to get into this unless you're sure you can deal with any potential consequences.

    Edit: Wtf, The OP is from 1970? TSR you crazy.
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 11, 2015
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.