I'm at a bit of a delicate place in my life at the moment, what with A levels and university applications and stuff. I'm really stressed out about these things, and also with some on-going health issues. (Insomnia, fairly frequent loss of consciousness, recurrent debilitating migraine attacks, self image issues, lets just say I've got some problems).
A couple of weeks ago our class was divided into small groups, and told to research an area of our course and present a lesson on it at a later date. In my group, I was in charge of creating the Powerpoint, and actually delivering the main content of the lesson. However, on the day that we were due to present the lesson, I was struck by one of the debilitating migraines in the morning, and I wasn't able to leave my bed for the most of the day.
The following day, I found my teacher, and went to apologise and explain, I got as far as "Hi Miss, I'm really sorry I-" and then she cut across me. She didn't look at me, or stop walking, she just raised her hand to me as she passed and said "No. Don't want to hear it. Not talking to you". I was taken aback, but I thought she might be joking around as she sometimes does, so I continued to say how ill I was, but she wasn't having any of it. Without turning around or stopping she just yelled back "I don't CARE! NOT talking to you!" and walked off inside a building.
I was so shocked by this, especially as she is my favourite teacher, the one I get on best with, in my favourite subject, and the one who's usually quite uspportive. I felt so upset, I was almost in tears during my next lesson, as pathetic as that sounds. Along with everything else that's going on in my life at the moment, that really didn't help.
Later, after having got home and gotten it off my chest abit, I thought it would be sensible to try and talk to my teacher, and let her know how much she upset me. I know what I want to say, but I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to say it all, I'm really scared that my voice will start wobbling or something. (Btw, most of my friends and teachers don't know about the stress I'm under or how I'm feeling, they all think I'm a really strong person who's always cheery and happy, and that's the image I tend to put out). So I decided to write down everything I wanted to say in a brief letter, and then walk up to her tomorrow, give it to her and walk off. However, I'm just not sure whether what I've written is alright, i think it comes off as being slightly rude. Anyone offer an opinion?
Dear Mrs *******,
I apologise if what I am about to say is rude or disrespectful, but I feel it’s best if I’m honest about this. The way you acted towards me yesterday morning was really inappropriate, not what I’d expect from a teacher and certainly not from a teacher I respect as much as you.
The reason I was absent on Wednesday’s lesson and therefore missed the lesson my group was supposed to deliver was because I was extremely unwell; I was not able to leave my bed for the majority of the day. I intended to find you yesterday to apologise and explain, and when I did, the way in which you responded took me aback. I was already feeling very guilty about messing up the lesson, but your childish response upset me deeply. I can fully understand your frustrations about the disruption to the lesson plan, and I don’t blame you for being annoyed or angry, but I don’t believe your behaviour was warranted.
I’ve been in a fairly precarious place at the moment, and your behaviour upset me considerably. Without wanting to appear rude, I thought I should point out that it is wise to consider what effect your actions might have on others, especially others who may already be feeling vulnerable.
As I have already stated, I have a great deal of respect for you as a teacher, and that’s not something I want to lose, and I am truly sorry if my words have appeared disrespectful, that was not my intention. I hope we can discuss the issue and move on from here.