Teacher Upset Me

I'm at a bit of a delicate place in my life at the moment, what with A levels and university applications and stuff. I'm really stressed out about these things, and also with some on-going health issues. (Insomnia, fairly frequent loss of consciousness, recurrent debilitating migraine attacks, self image issues, lets just say I've got some problems).

A couple of weeks ago our class was divided into small groups, and told to research an area of our course and present a lesson on it at a later date. In my group, I was in charge of creating the Powerpoint, and actually delivering the main content of the lesson. However, on the day that we were due to present the lesson, I was struck by one of the debilitating migraines in the morning, and I wasn't able to leave my bed for the most of the day.

The following day, I found my teacher, and went to apologise and explain, I got as far as "Hi Miss, I'm really sorry I-" and then she cut across me. She didn't look at me, or stop walking, she just raised her hand to me as she passed and said "No. Don't want to hear it. Not talking to you". I was taken aback, but I thought she might be joking around as she sometimes does, so I continued to say how ill I was, but she wasn't having any of it. Without turning around or stopping she just yelled back "I don't CARE! NOT talking to you!" and walked off inside a building.

I was so shocked by this, especially as she is my favourite teacher, the one I get on best with, in my favourite subject, and the one who's usually quite uspportive. I felt so upset, I was almost in tears during my next lesson, as pathetic as that sounds. Along with everything else that's going on in my life at the moment, that really didn't help.

Later, after having got home and gotten it off my chest abit, I thought it would be sensible to try and talk to my teacher, and let her know how much she upset me. I know what I want to say, but I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to say it all, I'm really scared that my voice will start wobbling or something. (Btw, most of my friends and teachers don't know about the stress I'm under or how I'm feeling, they all think I'm a really strong person who's always cheery and happy, and that's the image I tend to put out). So I decided to write down everything I wanted to say in a brief letter, and then walk up to her tomorrow, give it to her and walk off. However, I'm just not sure whether what I've written is alright, i think it comes off as being slightly rude. Anyone offer an opinion?

Dear Mrs *******,

I apologise if what I am about to say is rude or disrespectful, but I feel it’s best if I’m honest about this. The way you acted towards me yesterday morning was really inappropriate, not what I’d expect from a teacher and certainly not from a teacher I respect as much as you.

The reason I was absent on Wednesday’s lesson and therefore missed the lesson my group was supposed to deliver was because I was extremely unwell; I was not able to leave my bed for the majority of the day. I intended to find you yesterday to apologise and explain, and when I did, the way in which you responded took me aback. I was already feeling very guilty about messing up the lesson, but your childish response upset me deeply. I can fully understand your frustrations about the disruption to the lesson plan, and I don’t blame you for being annoyed or angry, but I don’t believe your behaviour was warranted.

I’ve been in a fairly precarious place at the moment, and your behaviour upset me considerably. Without wanting to appear rude, I thought I should point out that it is wise to consider what effect your actions might have on others, especially others who may already be feeling vulnerable.

As I have already stated, I have a great deal of respect for you as a teacher, and that’s not something I want to lose, and I am truly sorry if my words have appeared disrespectful, that was not my intention. I hope we can discuss the issue and move on from here.

Yours sincerely,

******* ******

Thanks.

Reply 1

Champagne-Dahling

10

Maybe cut the third paragraph, and the "childish" from the first.

If the letter fails, send her "to Coventry"

Reply 2

shinyhappy

14

Definately cut the 'childish'. And I'd advise showing it to a parent or another adult before you send it to her - simply just in case she turns round and starts saying you're sending her abusive letters, you will at least have some back up.

Reply 3

lil one

2

i agree with the above post

Reply 4

Talon

18

How old is your teacher? 5?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah, I did think the childish was a bit too far.

As for sending her to Coventry, I don't think I could do that.

Reply 6

daytona0

yea cut the 'childish' part. Anything like that can have the opposite effect to what you want. So long as it's clear, concise and as neutral (ie it doesn't look like your 'calling the teacher names' or having a go at them - rather wanting to talk about a serious issue) as possible, then the letter should be fine :smile:

Reply 7

Revd. Mike

17

Thanks for your help guys. I'll just touch up the letter now, and then off to bed. I'll let you all know the outcome, if any tomorrow afternoon.

Reply 8

HistoryStudent

13

Looks like someone forgot the Anon button...

Reply 9

daytona0

Revd. Mike

Thanks for your help guys. I'll just touch up the letter now, and then off to bed. I'll let you all know the outcome, if any tomorrow afternoon.

ahh it was you? :smile:

good luck with the letter :hugs:

Reply 10

General Mullet

I think the whole letter thing is a bad idea. I was in a similar situation when I missed a presentation due to illness a few weeks ago but I didn't go out of my way to find the teacher and apologize. I'd done nothing wrong.

Reply 11

Revd. Mike

17

Ooops. Ah well, c'est la vie.

GM: I know it wasn't my fault, but I considered it a courtesy to apologise.

Thanks Daytona btw :smile:

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

if i were you, i wouldnt even send the letter. in my veiw it would make things worse and awkward between the two of you. she would step lightly when you were around and make things weird and she knows that you were watching her (from her point of veiw you are someone who will be the first to raise the alarm when something goes astray)

Reply 13

fundamentally

15

The letter is pretty bad and will make things worse.

She might even feel obliged to log it and take action against you after that letter.

Reply 14

Riddy

fundamentally

The letter is pretty bad and will make things worse.

She might even feel obliged to log it and take action against you after that letter.

I don't think so, do you fancy this teacher anon? Sorry but it sounds like it a bit.

Reply 15

Riddy

Anonymous

if i were you, i wouldnt even send the letter. in my veiw it would make things worse and awkward between the two of you. she would step lightly when you were around and make things weird and she knows that you were watching her (from her point of veiw you are someone who will be the first to raise the alarm when something goes astray)

I didn't get that. :confused:

(not that you were talking to me sorry)

Reply 16

aleathiel

16

I would say to leave it, if your teacher realises the error of her ways, she will be the one to apologise to you.

Reply 17

silverbolt

19

Talon

How old is your teacher? 5?

she sounds it. "im not talking to you" thats a pathetic thing to say, id leave the childish part in there she was acting like a brat so you should say as much

Reply 18

notsoperfect

1

... or you could just forget about it. that way it will be less of a big deal. you're turning it into a big issue. people have off days.

Reply 19

Dragon24

17

notsoperfect

... or you could just forget about it. that way it will be less of a big deal. you're turning it into a big issue. people have off days.

I agree with this comment - just forget about it and act like it never happened, they should be the one apologising. This is just going to contribute to more stress which you already have enough on your plate.

Teacher Upset Me

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