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are me and my bf going too far? Watch

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    just a warning, this is going to get very explicit! i apologize in advance.

    alright, so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months (just hit the mark yesterday) and I'm wondering if we are going too far into sexual things. hes 17 and I'm 16.
    i don't have any religious views but he's a Christian. we haven't talked about sex or anything and I'm wondering if i should bring it up to ask about how far he's comfortable with, what definitely not okay etc etc. and mention my comfort zone too (I'm comfortable with most stuff except for oral sex and actual sex)
    i don't know if that would be too scary. neither of us have any sexual experience so everything we've done has been out first time doing this kinda stuff. okay sorry for rambling on but basically we've done a ton of sexual things although it's been very gradual. we even didn't kiss for two months at first. but now when we make out we basically "grind" and kiss each others necks and now we've gotten to the point where he will actually suck on my breasts. he also rubs my inner thigh reaaaally close to you know where.
    he's always asking if it's okay and I'm totally fine with everything we've done. he's always making sure he's not pressuring me.
    i tried to do the inner thigh thing to him but my hand slipped and i accidentally touched him and was like "woah there!" and pulled my hand off. i felt really embarrassed cause i wasn't trying to do that and i was scared i went too far when he wasn't comfortable yet. he had to reassure me that it was fine and he didn't care.

    okay i totally rambled a ton I'm sorry XD but I'm wondering a couple things; are we going to fast for being underage? should i talk to him about our comfort zones? is it strange he's really sexual even though he's Christian? thanks!
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    You aren't 'underage' to have sex... the age of consent is 16. Most people lose their virginity before they turn 18. You sound like two 13 year olds tbh, no offense. If you freak out over touching penis and have to ask questions like this then no, you shouldn't be having sex yet. xox
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    I thought for all religions, "no sex before marriage". :confused:
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    a) you're not underage

    b) don't focus on his religion; if it doesn't bother him, then that shouldn't bother you

    c) you both sound fairly comfortable with what's gone on so far, so I'd avoid a serious talk about boundaries but it still might be good one day when chatting to casually discuss the idea of sex, then you can gauge his reaction and also clearly set out that you're happy with the way things are right now and that you're probably not quite ready for sex, which he will hopefully understand and respect regardless of his personal thinking on it
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    You aren't 'underage' to have sex... the age of consent is 16. Most people lose their virginity before they turn 18. You sound like two 13 year olds tbh, no offense. If you freak out over touching penis and have to ask questions like this then no, you shouldn't be having sex yet. xox
    Pretty much this. OP doesn't seem comfortable doing anything else besides intensive cuddling, especially if OP's hand was removed from that area. But I'd say most lose it before 19
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    just a warning, this is going to get very explicit! i apologize in advance.

    alright, so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months (just hit the mark yesterday) and I'm wondering if we are going too far into sexual things. hes 17 and I'm 16.
    i don't have any religious views but he's a Christian. we haven't talked about sex or anything and I'm wondering if i should bring it up to ask about how far he's comfortable with, what definitely not okay etc etc. and mention my comfort zone too (I'm comfortable with most stuff except for oral sex and actual sex)
    i don't know if that would be too scary. neither of us have any sexual experience so everything we've done has been out first time doing this kinda stuff. okay sorry for rambling on but basically we've done a ton of sexual things although it's been very gradual. we even didn't kiss for two months at first. but now when we make out we basically "grind" and kiss each others necks and now we've gotten to the point where he will actually suck on my breasts. he also rubs my inner thigh reaaaally close to you know where.
    he's always asking if it's okay and I'm totally fine with everything we've done. he's always making sure he's not pressuring me.
    i tried to do the inner thigh thing to him but my hand slipped and i accidentally touched him and was like "woah there!" and pulled my hand off. i felt really embarrassed cause i wasn't trying to do that and i was scared i went too far when he wasn't comfortable yet. he had to reassure me that it was fine and he didn't care.

    okay i totally rambled a ton I'm sorry XD but I'm wondering a couple things; are we going to fast for being underage? should i talk to him about our comfort zones? is it strange he's really sexual even though he's Christian? thanks!
    Is this the muslim Pakistani girl who made a previous threqd before "Muslim girl & Christian by"??

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    Just go and have sex?

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    Only you will know of you're going 'too fast' for each other... However by 16/17 I'm sure many (myself included) were doing much worse.
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    I thought for quite a while about what to write here, but I was too busy just shaking my head to come up with anything.

    I feel nauseous now...

    "going too far" what a load of crap, and when I heard it was "explicit" I was rubbing my hands expecting some sort of broom up the bum scenario.

    Disappointed.
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    Just take it one step at a time so that you feel comfortable with each other at all times
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    ''I'm okay with most stuff except oral and actual sex'' - guess you will just have to stick to the humping then
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    You're not underage but just go at a pace that suits you both; don't think about it too much and as long as it's all safe and consensual just have fun

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    always talk first. Keep doing whatever you're doing for a little longer till you guys can talk about sex WITHOUT feeling awkward about it.
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Only you will know of you're going 'too fast' for each other... However by 16/17 I'm sure many (myself included) were doing much worse.
    I'm liking this new breed of badman(woman) mods- can't imagine Illusionary coming out saying he was into S&M or anything back in the day....
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    You aren't 'underage' to have sex... the age of consent is 16. Most people lose their virginity before they turn 18. You sound like two 13 year olds tbh, no offense. If you freak out over touching penis and have to ask questions like this then no, you shouldn't be having sex yet. xox
    She didn't freak out, her bf did, and she's said she doesn't want to have sex anyway - I don't really see the point of that comment.
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    I totally get where she is coming from. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months & don't even talk about sleeping together. (sleeping fine - sex? not yet!) - we are not religious or prudish, & certainly not ugly!

    We are both happy with that, but are content to not pressurise each other into more for now, just to "conform".

    He has kissed my boobs, & I have touched him down "there", but we felt that went to far.

    We had one of the most intimate moments last night. We both wore a onesie (I bought him a silly one for Christmas) & had a roll about together. It was LOVELY knowing that we were just having a cuddle & nothing more!

    But, my honest advice is, do what you want, but, don't do something either or both of you, are not happy with!

    xx
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    If you can't even talk to him about what your boundaries are then you shouldn't be doing anything more with him than you currently are.
    If you feel nervous talking then you're not ready to do it.


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    (Original post by EmmzAyr)
    & certainly not ugly!
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    Sorry to break it to you but you're not 'underage'. You're old. You're adults, you're not kids anymore. Lol you haven't even had sex yet, you have such a long way to go. I can't believe that in SEVEN months there's been no fingering, no oral, no anal...frankly, it's quite shocking. There's no need to make this into a big deal, it's a non-issue.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    Sorry to break it to you but you're not 'underage'. You're old. You're adults, you're not kids anymore. Lol you haven't even had sex yet, you have such a long way to go. I can't believe that in SEVEN months there's been no fingering, no oral, no anal...frankly, it's quite shocking. There's no need to make this into a big deal, it's a non-issue.

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    Who skips to anal before vaginal?

    Edit: Just for anyone freaking out out there - no, anal is not necessary at any point in a relationship if you're not interested in it, not even after having done regular sex for a while.
 
 
 
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