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    So, silly squabble with friend but wanted some other perspectives on it.

    Basically she cancelled on seeing me last Saturday, 20th, but we were gonna spend Sunday, 28th, together anyway so I wasn't too fussed. Then she texts me late Saturday evening saying she drank too much tequila Friday night so she wanted to spend Sunday sleeping...even though she spent all of Saturday with her boyfriend. I live 500 miles away for uni and haven't seen her in 2 months, so I'm not home that often and was really looking forward to seeing her.


    I'm happy for her that she's got a new boyfriend but what annoys me most is that we fell out 2 years ago because she got a new boyfriend back then and KEPT cancelling on me, we actually stopped talking for 6 months then I was the one who got back in touch and she promised she wouldn't be like it again etc etc...now she looks to be doing it again and I'm just a bit upset.


    Everyone says I should just not text her etc until she messages me with a proper apology. What do you all think? I told her how upset and disappointed I was and she just said she'd 'make it up to me next time' and buy me a meal or something but even that annoyed me because I told her how much I wanted to see her and it was essentially just a 'no.' We weren't going to be drinking on Sunday and could have even just chilled out at hers, nothing major. I didn't respond after that because I don't want to argue with her but I have a hard time biting my tongue. Like Idk if I should text her happy new year tomorrow and it's made even more awkward as it's her 21st next month and Idk how that's gonna go down as the only reason for me to come back home in Feb would be for her bday, but if we're not talking...:indiff:
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    She sounds poo. Flush her away.

    Alternatively, grind her up and mix the remains into your garden soil for an excellent fertiliser.
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    So, silly squabble with friend but wanted some other perspectives on it.

    Basically she cancelled on seeing me last Saturday, 20th, but we were gonna spend Sunday, 28th, together anyway so I wasn't too fussed. Then she texts me late Saturday evening saying she drank too much tequila Friday night so she wanted to spend Sunday sleeping...even though she spent all of Saturday with her boyfriend. I live 500 miles away for uni and haven't seen her in 2 months, so I'm not home that often and was really looking forward to seeing her.


    I'm happy for her that she's got a new boyfriend but what annoys me most is that we fell out 2 years ago because she got a new boyfriend back then and KEPT cancelling on me, we actually stopped talking for 6 months then I was the one who got back in touch and she promised she wouldn't be like it again etc etc...now she looks to be doing it again and I'm just a bit upset.


    Everyone says I should just not text her etc until she messages me with a proper apology. What do you all think? I told her how upset and disappointed I was and she just said she'd 'make it up to me next time' and buy me a meal or something but even that annoyed me because I told her how much I wanted to see her and it was essentially just a 'no.' We weren't going to be drinking on Sunday and could have even just chilled out at hers, nothing major. I didn't respond after that because I don't want to argue with her but I have a hard time biting my tongue. Like Idk if I should text her happy new year tomorrow and it's made even more awkward as it's her 21st next month and Idk how that's gonna go down as the only reason for me to come back home in Feb would be for her bday, but if we're not talking...:indiff:
    This.
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    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    She sounds poo. Flush her away.

    Alternatively, grind her up and mix the remains into your garden soil for an excellent fertiliser.
    Lol, lovely. She is usually a wonderful friend though and I don't really want to lose that. I just get frustrated because I know that she thinks I'm being selfish etc for not responding but she KNOWS I'm upset. I don't think I'm annoyed for a particularly petty reason either.
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    (Original post by daisychain_)
    This.
    Good to know I'm not being unreasonable in wanting that then I always end up caving and messaging first but I don't WANT to, I feel I deserve a proper apology.
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    Lol, lovely. She is usually a wonderful friend though and I don't really want to lose that. I just get frustrated because I know that she thinks I'm being selfish etc for not responding but she KNOWS I'm upset. I don't think I'm annoyed for a particularly petty reason either.
    Is she one of those people whose only chance of a damascene conversion is a KO *****-slap?
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    Don't message her again, you seem pretty cool and always make the first move in order to contact her. Don't give her the chance to cancel on you, let her contact you and just be patient dude. If she cancels on you again, don't bother. It seems straight to the point, and I'm sorry, but she's not worth it if she keeps messing you around.
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    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Is she one of those people whose only chance of a damascene conversion is a KO *****-slap?
    Haha not even tbh. Last time I gave her a ***** slap (verbally of course), we didn't talk for 6 months

    (Original post by ,,,,)
    Don't message her again, you seem pretty cool and always make the first move in order to contact her. Don't give her the chance to cancel on you, let her contact you and just be patient dude. If she cancels on you again, don't bother. It seems straight to the point, and I'm sorry, but she's not worth it if she keeps messing you around.
    Sigh, I suppose you're right. Just frustrates me that she probably won't message me for a while because I don't think she even realises
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    Good to know I'm not being unreasonable in wanting that then I always end up caving and messaging first but I don't WANT to, I feel I deserve a proper apology.
    You're not being unreasonable, no. People who put themselves first and cause collateral damage in the process get on my tits!

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    (Original post by addylad)
    You're not being unreasonable, no. People who put themselves first and cause collateral damage in the process get on my tits!

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    Meh, I guess. It just makes me feel ****e as she's one of my oldest friends and I don't WANT to stop being friends. Sigh.
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    If she was a proper friend, she'd make time for you.
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    (Original post by snoop_frog)
    the girl is hungover as **** what u want her to do? leave her alone

    u sound like the ultimate **** block/clinger
    (Original post by snoop_frog)
    the girl is hungover as **** what u want her to do? leave her alone

    u sound like the ultimate **** block/clinger
    ...She was drinking on Friday. She saw her boyfriend Saturday who she lives pretty near to and sees regularly. I have not seen her for 2 months and live far away. I was drinking a lot Saturday myself, was still up for seeing her Sunday. If she was that hungover, she would have cancelled seeing her boyfriend on Saturday too. And who on earth is hungover TWO days after drinking?

    (Original post by OU Student)
    If she was a proper friend, she'd make time for you.
    I mean, she usually has in the past. She has been very supportive and overall is a good friend but it seems that when she gets into relationships she just doesn't have the time.
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    Go no contact until she initiates. You'll know whether she cares or not.
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    Don't text her first, it will just make you look needy. Though I completely agree that she needs to apologise to you, she should take the initiative to do it instead of you. She's in the wrong here.
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    I haven't spoke to 'mates' I have known for around 10 years for the last three months because they don't make the effort.

    Just don't speak to her until she actually decides to value you, because she clearly doesn't at the moment.
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    Well for what's its worth I think you are in the right.
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    (Original post by UnknownRoyalist)
    Go no contact until she initiates. You'll know whether she cares or not.
    (Original post by Ndella)
    Don't text her first, it will just make you look needy. Though I completely agree that she needs to apologise to you, she should take the initiative to do it instead of you. She's in the wrong here.
    I don't think I'd look needy as such as I know she's expecting me to text first so we're gonna reach a stale mate as we're both so stubborn. :laugh: I'm just gonna wait it out though as you said and hopefully she'll realise.
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    I don't think I'd look needy as such as I know she's expecting me to text first so we're gonna reach a stale mate as we're both so stubborn. :laugh: I'm just gonna wait it out though as you said and hopefully she'll realise.
    Sorry needy is probably the wrong word to express it I was in the same situation long ago, and I believe that a friendship should be equal; if you're always the one to initiate contact, it shows that your friendship is otherwise. Hopefully she does realise though
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    (Original post by LTG)
    I haven't spoke to 'mates' I have known for around 10 years for the last three months because they don't make the effort.

    Just don't speak to her until she actually decides to value you, because she clearly doesn't at the moment.
    Yeah I guess. It's a shame if you were quite close to them though. Annoys me because with pretty much all my friends I'm the one who always has to make the plans etc which I don't MIND but I do wonder if they'd bother if I didn't.

    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Well for what's its worth I think you are in the right.
    I do always worry that I'm over sensitive when it comes to people I care about but she knows me and she knows that I get quite frustrated when people cancel (unless it's a good reason of course.) but even more so because I live quite far and I value time spent with family and friends when I am back home.
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    (Original post by Ndella)
    Sorry needy is probably the wrong word to express it I was in the same situation long ago, and I believe that a friendship should be equal; if you're always the one to initiate contact, it shows that your friendship is otherwise. Hopefully she does realise though
    Haha no worries yeah I agree it should be equal. Getting so sick of me putting all the effort in :indiff: Did it work out with your friend or?
 
 
 
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