Housemate Problems

My corridor friends from halls and I have moved into a big house - there are 16 of us! It's mainly fantastic, but there are a few problems arising because of a certain girl. Only a couple of us knew her, but we needed an extra person to fill the house, and so she was invited to move in. At first she seemed quite nice, but recently she has started to become really cruel and bitchy.

The worst part of it is that she has attached herself to my closest friend in the house, Tim. She has a boyfriend but is totally leading Tim on - flirting with him non-stop, staying up with him until the next morning, etc etc. I wouldn't mind this if it weren't for the fact that she continually makes fun of other people and tells jokes where the punchline is always somebody else's stupidy. She is nice to somebody's face and then bitches about them moments later, usually when they have just left the room. Tim finds it really funny, and he has sort of started doing it himself, which is really unlike him. Add the fact that she's really loud, noisy and sarcastic, and it all adds up to somebody that I really, really cannot stand.

I feel like she is completely taking over all of our nights out, stealing Tim away from me, and I can't be myself around her for fear of what she is going to say about me when I've left. I'm finding it really difficult to be around her, and even more difficult to be around her and Tim without telling him what I think about her. I want him to be happy, and I know he was dreadfully hurt when his last girlfriend broke up with him, and it really is a waste that he's single, but I really couldn't bear it if he started a relationship with her. We're usually so close, and we still are in a way, but I no longer feel as close to him. It's really getting me down.

Any suggestions for what to do - any ways to try and get the old group of 4 of us back together? We had so much fun!

Reply 1

matt@internet

D'you have feelings for Tim?

Reply 2

Tarts_n_Vicars

While she might be bitchy and horrible I don't think you can lay all the blame at her door, Tim is presumably a "grown up" capable of making his own decisions and maybe it's because of her he's showing what HE is really like? Even if she is the bad influence he's allowed to be friends with whoever he wants. It sounds like you're more upset/annoyed about the fact that he is being taken away from you rather than the fact that it's her that's doing it.

If he's not seeing what you are as regards her behaviour then pointing it out might alienate him further away from you. You can dislike a housemate without having to involve everyone else in it, so keep on being his friend and hope he sees what's really going on.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

No, I don't have feelings for Tim, I have a boyfriend. But we are very close indeed and I guess that I love him in a friendly sort of way.

You're right, I can't lay all the blame at her door - maybe my eyes are just being opened to something that was already there. Thanks for the tip too about not pointing it out to Tim - I've debated it in my head, but I don't think that I'm going to. Like you said, I'll keep on being his friend and then I'll be there to pick up the pieces when she finally goes a bit too far :P Or so I desperatley hope!