This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Looking for job
- Advice on Summer Jobs
- What jobs can a 16 year old get?
- Summer jobs before going to university 2025
- Tips for finding summer jobs and internships (Kingston Student)
- Churchill College Cambridge 2025 applicants
- Tips for finding summer jobs and internships
- Frequently asked freshers' questions (Kingston University)
- Should I go to University of Reading ?
- UAL Foundation recommendation
- Need part-time jobs in Exeter
- Reading University
- What is there to do in chester?
- Can someone please explain like I'm an idiot how to get a first job
- Work Experience
- What are thoughts on these universities and the cities they are in?
- Top 3 things to do in your uni town/city
- What are the best film universities outside of london?
- Work Experience panic
- Allen Court Accommodation
Should I go to my local shopping centre?
Ok this might not seem that serious to some people but it's been troubling me quite a bit. I know a few people might read then and scoff at me because on the face of it it seems a bit trivial but it's been on my mind a lot.
Basically, I don't drive, neither do my parents, I'm female. I live in the family home and usually I'm the one doing the shopping. The nearest shopping centre is a two minute walk away from my home. I have been shopping at this shopping centre since I was 13- (that's 7 years.)
Recently a guy who works at this shopping centre has been approaching me quite a lot, and passing the time of the day with me. He'd say in a jokey way, ''when are you going to call me for dinner?'' Initially I thought he was just joking, as I thought he might've been hungry and the food in my basket might have looked tempting.
but then the next time I'd go shopping there he'd ask me again. So I'd just laugh and say, 'Hah I can't cook.'
He seems like a nice person, and I don't have a boyfriend but I really don't want a relationship and to be honest I like being on my own rather then being with friends. I'd say I enjoy being a loner and I'm quite anti-social. When I say that, I don't mean aggressive but I prefer to spend time with myself then with other people.
I was riding on the bus yesterday and saw him, I tried to pretend I didn't see him but he noticed me and came and sat next to me. He then asked for my number and passed me his mobile phone so I could give it to him. I just said I didn't have a mobile (which I don't) and couldn't give my home phone number. He then asked me where I was going and I told him the area, he then said he would come with me because he wanted to spend some time with me. I was holding a bag at the time and he insisted on hold the bag for me which was really nice although I only had a sandwich in there.
When we'd reached the area I wanted to go to and I got what I needed- on the way back on the bus, he asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema with him one day. I immediately said, ''I've got a boyfriend, sorry I can't'' even though I don't. I just don't want a relationship with anyone. He then said ''Oh that's ok, you can bring him along, can we go as friends then?'' I started to feel bad because he seems like a nice person but I said, ''I can't do that, I'm sorry.'' We said goodbye to eachother and off he went. But before he left, he said the next time I go to my local shopping centre he'd write down his number and give it to me. He told me he works there 6 days a week 7am-11.00pm. ( I go shopping at least three times a week.)
As a result I no longer want to go shopping there. The other nearest shopping centre is 20 min away on bus. I know some people are probably reading this and thinking I'm a horrible person but I've been feeling really guilty about this. Am I being an arsehole? I feel kind of annoyed because I've shopping there for over seven years and I no longer want to shop there because I'd feel so awkward if I saw him, I wouldn't know how to react. In a way I feel it's wrong for employees to hit on their customers.
In the future should I just go shopping at the shopping centre that's more further away?
Basically, I don't drive, neither do my parents, I'm female. I live in the family home and usually I'm the one doing the shopping. The nearest shopping centre is a two minute walk away from my home. I have been shopping at this shopping centre since I was 13- (that's 7 years.)
Recently a guy who works at this shopping centre has been approaching me quite a lot, and passing the time of the day with me. He'd say in a jokey way, ''when are you going to call me for dinner?'' Initially I thought he was just joking, as I thought he might've been hungry and the food in my basket might have looked tempting.
but then the next time I'd go shopping there he'd ask me again. So I'd just laugh and say, 'Hah I can't cook.' He seems like a nice person, and I don't have a boyfriend but I really don't want a relationship and to be honest I like being on my own rather then being with friends. I'd say I enjoy being a loner and I'm quite anti-social. When I say that, I don't mean aggressive but I prefer to spend time with myself then with other people.
I was riding on the bus yesterday and saw him, I tried to pretend I didn't see him but he noticed me and came and sat next to me. He then asked for my number and passed me his mobile phone so I could give it to him. I just said I didn't have a mobile (which I don't) and couldn't give my home phone number. He then asked me where I was going and I told him the area, he then said he would come with me because he wanted to spend some time with me. I was holding a bag at the time and he insisted on hold the bag for me which was really nice although I only had a sandwich in there.
When we'd reached the area I wanted to go to and I got what I needed- on the way back on the bus, he asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema with him one day. I immediately said, ''I've got a boyfriend, sorry I can't'' even though I don't. I just don't want a relationship with anyone. He then said ''Oh that's ok, you can bring him along, can we go as friends then?'' I started to feel bad because he seems like a nice person but I said, ''I can't do that, I'm sorry.'' We said goodbye to eachother and off he went. But before he left, he said the next time I go to my local shopping centre he'd write down his number and give it to me. He told me he works there 6 days a week 7am-11.00pm. ( I go shopping at least three times a week.)
As a result I no longer want to go shopping there. The other nearest shopping centre is 20 min away on bus. I know some people are probably reading this and thinking I'm a horrible person but I've been feeling really guilty about this. Am I being an arsehole? I feel kind of annoyed because I've shopping there for over seven years and I no longer want to shop there because I'd feel so awkward if I saw him, I wouldn't know how to react. In a way I feel it's wrong for employees to hit on their customers.
In the future should I just go shopping at the shopping centre that's more further away?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
You're not an arsehole and you shouldn't allow this guy to become an inconvenience to your daily life.
Reply 2
Its almost like this guy is stalking you!
Reply 3
He sounds like a weirdo.
Reply 4
no you dont sound horrible, just keep saying no thanks etc
Reply 5
It seems a bit strange that he didn't get the hint when you said you have a boyfriend.. and even stranger that he wanted to go to the cinema with you and your "boyfriend".
I would continue to go to the same shop and if he approaches you again tell him straight - "I don't mean to be rude, but please stop pestering me".
If you really can't face going again then I guess you have no choice but to take the bus to the shop further away. Maybe ask a friend/relative who drives to give you a lift? Or learn to drive yourself - not the solution in the short-term, obviously.
edit: and don't be embarrassed about posting this. If you don't want a relationship that's your choice - I'm similar really. This guy should respect your wishes without you needing to explain.
I would continue to go to the same shop and if he approaches you again tell him straight - "I don't mean to be rude, but please stop pestering me".
If you really can't face going again then I guess you have no choice but to take the bus to the shop further away. Maybe ask a friend/relative who drives to give you a lift? Or learn to drive yourself - not the solution in the short-term, obviously.
edit: and don't be embarrassed about posting this. If you don't want a relationship that's your choice - I'm similar really. This guy should respect your wishes without you needing to explain.
Reply 6
You could get a really macho friend to come with you to the cinema. Then have your friend be flexing his biceps and looking menacingly at the annoying guy. 
Reply 7
Go to the shopping centre and get his mobile number off him.
Post his number on here.
We'll do the rest.
Post his number on here.
We'll do the rest.
Reply 8
mr_person
You could get a really macho friend to come with you to the cinema. Then have your friend be flexing his biceps and looking menacingly at the annoying guy.
After what she said, do you really expect her to have any 'macho' friends? She's self admittedly anti-social.
You sound lovely, but lets be fair, he's only being nice. A little creepy perhaps but maybe he just isn't an anti social arse who enjoys life instead of moaning.
You lied to him. Say it straight if he bothers you again. Definatley keep shopping there or you've just lost the plot.
Try not worry about it.
Reply 9
JakeThePeg
Go to the shopping centre and get his mobile number off him.
Post his number on here.
We'll do the rest.
Post his number on here.
We'll do the rest.
mr_person
You could get a really macho friend to come with you to the cinema. Then have your friend be flexing his biceps and looking menacingly at the annoying guy.
Thanks for the advice guys. I probably painted a wrong picture of him here. He seems like a gentle good bloke. In the supermarket he's always very cheerful and speaks to virtually every customer he serves (from what I've witnessed) He also spoke quite a lot to me and told me a lot about himself (which I neglected to mention) because I just wanted to give you the gist of the story and not bore you all. But I'm just not up for it at the moment.
I thought I'd ask what everyone's views were because I've spoken to a few friends about it and they've all said that going to the supermarket that is further away would be a better idea. And I was kind of undecided. That's probably not the most convenient thing to do but I can't face upto him. I'd just feel too bad to tell him that I don't want his number. When he gives it to me he's going to expect me to ring him. If someone asks to be your friend, isn't it rude to say no?
Reply 10
I think your all very very wrong here.
You probably are now all going to think I am a weirdo, but I once done pretty much the same thing to a girl and thankfully she finally accepted that I am not just some weirdo constantly obsessed with her.
Give this poor guy a break. He's probably infront of all these people, feeling like a total prat - now you've got to ask yourself why do this for someone he's never met before. No - hold off - he's not a weirdo. He likes you - a lot.
People like this are extremely rare. A lot of girls would snap up hardworking friendly, gentlemen like guys like this.
How often do you see someone and think to yourself "god, id do anything to go out with them" - how many of you do actually pluck up the courage to talk to them? Seriously - almost no one, only those who follow their feelings and say to themselves "sod it - I need to see this girl/guy".
I can understand why you'd want to be alone, and this is fine. However, give the poor guy a break. He obviously is trying 110% and your not playing ball. You don't have to go out with him - maybe just say the truth, that your happy as you are being single. Your judging him by initial contact and because its not like how most robotic, boring people act you think he is a weirdo.
Heck - if someone came up to me like that, I'd be shocked but wud acknowledge that what they're saying actually means something. Would you rather someone shout across the street "oi oi sexy - get ya rack out" or something!
Invite him for a coffee, but just make it clear that you'd just like to be friends. Act a little more professional, take a deep breath and you may actually enjoy yourself!
Plus - give this chap a handshake from me - cos I know what it feels like to try and get someone you just have to know and they toss you aside thinking your a nut.
You probably are now all going to think I am a weirdo, but I once done pretty much the same thing to a girl and thankfully she finally accepted that I am not just some weirdo constantly obsessed with her.
Give this poor guy a break. He's probably infront of all these people, feeling like a total prat - now you've got to ask yourself why do this for someone he's never met before. No - hold off - he's not a weirdo. He likes you - a lot.
People like this are extremely rare. A lot of girls would snap up hardworking friendly, gentlemen like guys like this.
How often do you see someone and think to yourself "god, id do anything to go out with them" - how many of you do actually pluck up the courage to talk to them? Seriously - almost no one, only those who follow their feelings and say to themselves "sod it - I need to see this girl/guy".
I can understand why you'd want to be alone, and this is fine. However, give the poor guy a break. He obviously is trying 110% and your not playing ball. You don't have to go out with him - maybe just say the truth, that your happy as you are being single. Your judging him by initial contact and because its not like how most robotic, boring people act you think he is a weirdo.
Heck - if someone came up to me like that, I'd be shocked but wud acknowledge that what they're saying actually means something. Would you rather someone shout across the street "oi oi sexy - get ya rack out" or something!
Invite him for a coffee, but just make it clear that you'd just like to be friends. Act a little more professional, take a deep breath and you may actually enjoy yourself!
Plus - give this chap a handshake from me - cos I know what it feels like to try and get someone you just have to know and they toss you aside thinking your a nut.
Reply 11
Anubis, hey, I never said he was weird. Far from it actually. I don't know him really, but he seems like a good-natured happy go lucky kind of person. I can tell that he is, for example he didn't have enough cash on him and went to the cash machine to withdraw some money, before popping to the newsagent to buy a buspass after we got off the bus to catch another one, which I thought was a nice gesture. He also offered me a Nivea deodorant which was in his shopping bag, that made me chuckle a bit, ''Are you suggesting I smell, Sir?'' which he vehemently denied. Although I think it was more of a spontaneous thing.
I guess you could be right, although I still need to chew over it. I know it takes guts to approach someone and get talking to them- the main reason why I've never actually done it before but I'm really not ready for a relationship right now.
For the past year or so I've been spending a lot of time by myself and I like it like that. Sometimes when I go out with someone that I don't really click with, even if it's someone I'd call a friend I feel pretty **** afterwards and get depressed. I don't like feeling like that and I don't feel like that when I'm by myself. It might seem like a boring lifestyle to some but I quite like it, watching TV, reading a newspaper, drawing, playing my guitar, thinking things through without any disturbance. That's how I like it. I don't want another person entering my life. It just seems like extra baggage if you see what I mean?
I guess you could be right, although I still need to chew over it. I know it takes guts to approach someone and get talking to them- the main reason why I've never actually done it before but I'm really not ready for a relationship right now.
For the past year or so I've been spending a lot of time by myself and I like it like that. Sometimes when I go out with someone that I don't really click with, even if it's someone I'd call a friend I feel pretty **** afterwards and get depressed. I don't like feeling like that and I don't feel like that when I'm by myself. It might seem like a boring lifestyle to some but I quite like it, watching TV, reading a newspaper, drawing, playing my guitar, thinking things through without any disturbance. That's how I like it. I don't want another person entering my life. It just seems like extra baggage if you see what I mean?
Reply 12
15
Sorry but he works at a supermarket full time...excuse me but i think you can probably do better.
As for going back to the same supermarket, damn right go to your nearest supermarket that you have been to for the past 7 years, just tell the guy that although you think he is a nice guy, a gentleman in fact you would prefer if you kept the relationship strictly professional. You don't feel comfortable spending so much time with him and would prefer to be by yourself.
Tell the truth, it always works wonders!
If he is a gentleman like you say he is, he will respect your wishes, if he is a cock he will keep pressuring you to give in.
Graham
On a random note, do you play electric or acoustic? I have been playing electric for about 2 years now, absolutely love it! Metallica and Heavy Metal is where its at, baby! Rock on!
As for going back to the same supermarket, damn right go to your nearest supermarket that you have been to for the past 7 years, just tell the guy that although you think he is a nice guy, a gentleman in fact you would prefer if you kept the relationship strictly professional. You don't feel comfortable spending so much time with him and would prefer to be by yourself.
Tell the truth, it always works wonders!
If he is a gentleman like you say he is, he will respect your wishes, if he is a cock he will keep pressuring you to give in.
Graham
On a random note, do you play electric or acoustic? I have been playing electric for about 2 years now, absolutely love it! Metallica and Heavy Metal is where its at, baby! Rock on!
Reply 13
What loser works 7am-11pm six days a week???
No wonder he has to stalk customers as he clearly has no social life outside of his job.
No wonder he has to stalk customers as he clearly has no social life outside of his job.
Reply 14
15
Actually my previous post was a bit harsh...even if he does work in a supermarket, his hours are commendable and shows a desire to work which is unusual in todays benefit driven society.
I still think you can do better than someone working at a supermarket, but at least he works really hard!
Graham
I still think you can do better than someone working at a supermarket, but at least he works really hard!
Graham
Reply 15
gbduo
Sorry but he works at a supermarket full time...excuse me but i think you can probably do better.
As for going back to the same supermarket, damn right go to your nearest supermarket that you have been to for the past 7 years, just tell the guy that although you think he is a nice guy, a gentleman in fact you would prefer if you kept the relationship strictly professional. You don't feel comfortable spending so much time with him and would prefer to be by yourself.
Tell the truth, it always works wonders!
If he is a gentleman like you say he is, he will respect your wishes, if he is a cock he will keep pressuring you to give in.
Graham
On a random note, do you play electric or acoustic? I have been playing electric for about 2 years now, absolutely love it! Metallica and Heavy Metal is where its at, baby! Rock on!
As for going back to the same supermarket, damn right go to your nearest supermarket that you have been to for the past 7 years, just tell the guy that although you think he is a nice guy, a gentleman in fact you would prefer if you kept the relationship strictly professional. You don't feel comfortable spending so much time with him and would prefer to be by yourself.
Tell the truth, it always works wonders!
If he is a gentleman like you say he is, he will respect your wishes, if he is a cock he will keep pressuring you to give in.
Graham
On a random note, do you play electric or acoustic? I have been playing electric for about 2 years now, absolutely love it! Metallica and Heavy Metal is where its at, baby! Rock on!
I play acoustic, Graham, I've been playing since I was 11/12.
He works in the Supermarket full-time but said he doing so to save up to study for his Masters. He's already done a Business and Economics degree and passed with second Class, if I'm recalling correctly. He's social status isn't a big deal to me though. Again I neglected to mention that in my previous post, as I didn't think it was important or relevant. I'd be typing all day if I added every detail... hah
Anyway thanks for all the responses, appreciated very much. I may decide to come clean but bear in mind his feelings.
Reply 16
Right, so he went to the cash machine to withdraw some money, before popping to the newsagent to buy a buspass after you got off the bus to catch another one.
And you still hung around waiting for him ??
It sounds like you actually like this guy but you don't want to get involved. Fair enough. Next time you get to speak to him, suggest that you meet for a coffee and a chat (as Anubis suggested) and just ...well....have a chat and see what he's really like. No harm done.
(Make sure that he pays for the coffee though !)
And you still hung around waiting for him ??
It sounds like you actually like this guy but you don't want to get involved. Fair enough. Next time you get to speak to him, suggest that you meet for a coffee and a chat (as Anubis suggested) and just ...well....have a chat and see what he's really like. No harm done.
(Make sure that he pays for the coffee though !)
Reply 17
JakeThePeg
Right, so he went to the cash machine to withdraw some money, before popping to the newsagent to buy a buspass after you got off the bus to catch another one.
And you still hung around waiting for him ??
And you still hung around waiting for him ??
Ofcourse, I couldn't just say I don't want to wait and walk of. I have manners you know.
I don't know him to like him. Infact I don't like that many people. I've had bad experiences in the past and prefer not to get too involved to avoid getting my feelings hurt. Besides I like being by myself (like I said). May decide go for a chat but I don't know right now, I need time to think about it.Reply 18
naddles
Its almost like this guy is stalking you!
Almost?
Reply 19
15
Anonymous
I play acoustic, Graham, I've been playing since I was 11/12.
He works in the Supermarket full-time but said he doing so to save up to study for his Masters. He's already done a Business and Economics degree and passed with second Class, if I'm recalling correctly. He's social status isn't a big deal to me though. Again I neglected to mention that in my previous post, as I didn't think it was important or relevant. I'd be typing all day if I added every detail... hah
Anyway thanks for all the responses, appreciated very much. I may decide to come clean but bear in mind his feelings.
He works in the Supermarket full-time but said he doing so to save up to study for his Masters. He's already done a Business and Economics degree and passed with second Class, if I'm recalling correctly. He's social status isn't a big deal to me though. Again I neglected to mention that in my previous post, as I didn't think it was important or relevant. I'd be typing all day if I added every detail... hah
Anyway thanks for all the responses, appreciated very much. I may decide to come clean but bear in mind his feelings.
Acoustic is cool, you must be pretty good if you have played since you were 11! Of course...being a musician who is amazing you will reply with, "yeh i am alright"
Ok, he is definately not a waster then! Sorry, i jumped to conclusions which was very wrong of me, but at the same time...if you don't want a relationship with him of any sort, not even friends you need to come out with it and tell him! And tell him the truth, don't run from the problem by going to another supermarket, running from problems never gets you anywhere in life.
Graham
Related discussions
- Looking for job
- Advice on Summer Jobs
- What jobs can a 16 year old get?
- Summer jobs before going to university 2025
- Tips for finding summer jobs and internships (Kingston Student)
- Churchill College Cambridge 2025 applicants
- Tips for finding summer jobs and internships
- Frequently asked freshers' questions (Kingston University)
- Should I go to University of Reading ?
- UAL Foundation recommendation
- Need part-time jobs in Exeter
- Reading University
- What is there to do in chester?
- Can someone please explain like I'm an idiot how to get a first job
- Work Experience
- What are thoughts on these universities and the cities they are in?
- Top 3 things to do in your uni town/city
- What are the best film universities outside of london?
- Work Experience panic
- Allen Court Accommodation
Latest
Trending
Last reply 14 hours ago
What food item are you currently craving?Last reply 1 day ago
can u guys help me get my mum back ðŸ˜(revenge post)Last reply 3 days ago
TSR Rate My Plate: post a picture of your delicious food!Last reply 6 days ago
mum FORCED me to sign a (legal?!) contract to become a doctor or face DOOR removalðŸ˜Last reply 2 weeks ago
HELP!!! is this normal punishment or are my parents being weird???Last reply 3 weeks ago
feeling of bugs crawling under my skin/never feeling cleanLast reply 1 month ago
What painkillers do they give you when you get your wisdom teeth removed?Last reply 1 month ago
Can someone please help me tag Artful_lounger, i want to ask him a questionLast reply 1 month ago
I have a very important and urgent question
