The Student Room Group

How would you handle this? (Female advice please)

Some of you may remember my thread, 2 or 3 weeks ago regarding the lie I had told a close friend of mine but we are no longer friends with for that very reason.

I'm sure a search would bring up the old thread, if any of you didn't read it before, I'm not going to go over anything I said before, it has been 2 weeks today since she last said anything to me and this is sort of my 'update' and further question to pose to fellow (female!) members of the site.

As I have just said, last time she spoke to me was an email over 2 weeks or so ago and have said nothing since. However we have seen each other around at school (sixth form) and we are in the same lesson twice a week.
I have managed to restrain myself, initially from contacting her and now, from not looking at her at all directly in lessons which I now find easy.

But the underlining issue is, since she has been gone, we have both moved on, some of you may say that I have not moved on but I have I just still think there is hope in reviving our friendship sometime soon in the future.

And I say this after she has been asking my sister what universities I am applying to so that she won't see me around after this year :frown:

Proves that I still have respect for her in my eyes anyway.

But the question is this to female members:

The lie was I said I had a heart condition which was false, a lie, deceit the works. I regret it totally and it has been the worst thing I have done to anyone in my life.
But, this may sound insensitive, how long will it take for her to get over it?
She has given some strong signs she will again be friends (6 months - 1 year) thats the indication I have anyway.

But to the female members:
How would you have responded to this and would you have got over it by now and started a fresh??

I appreciate your time in reading this.
Cheers, all the best :wink:

Reply 1

I'm not female but I can't believe you haven't taken any notice of the advice your previous thread. As difficult as it may be you have to give up and let this one go.

Reply 2

General Mullet
I'm not female but I can't believe you haven't taken any notice of the advice your previous thread.

Previous threads.

Really, I don't see the point in even trying to give the OP advice any more. He won't listen, and frankly he deserves whatever emotional pain he undergoes, because he's bringing it on himself.

Reply 3

Whilst I may not be female, I do know that women to do not forgive or forget easily, and you told a pretty extreme lie so just move on it's hopeless.

Reply 4

Anonymous
Some of you may remember my thread, 2 or 3 weeks ago regarding the lie I had told a close friend of mine but we are no longer friends with for that very reason.

I'm sure a search would bring up the old thread, if any of you didn't read it before, I'm not going to go over anything I said before, it has been 2 weeks today since she last said anything to me and this is sort of my 'update' and further question to pose to fellow (female!) members of the site.

As I have just said, last time she spoke to me was an email over 2 weeks or so ago and have said nothing since. However we have seen each other around at school (sixth form) and we are in the same lesson twice a week.
I have managed to restrain myself, initially from contacting her and now, from not looking at her at all directly in lessons which I now find easy.

But the underlining issue is, since she has been gone, we have both moved on, some of you may say that I have not moved on but I have I just still think there is hope in reviving our friendship sometime soon in the future.

And I say this after she has been asking my sister what universities I am applying to so that she won't see me around after this year :frown:

Proves that I still have respect for her in my eyes anyway.

But the question is this to female members:

The lie was I said I had a heart condition which was false, a lie, deceit the works. I regret it totally and it has been the worst thing I have done to anyone in my life.
But, this may sound insensitive, how long will it take for her to get over it?
She has given some strong signs she will again be friends (6 months - 1 year) thats the indication I have anyway.

But to the female members:
How would you have responded to this and would you have got over it by now and started a fresh??

I appreciate your time in reading this.
Cheers, all the best :wink:


Leave it you psycho b'stard!

Reply 5

What on earth possessed u to lie about something like that? Yeah i'd give up tbh, well i know i wouldnt forgive and forget quickly after such a sick lie!

Reply 6

Hum, well there is very little chance of you ever being friends again. The thing to bear in mind is that after high school, people drift away from their old friendship groups, and she already broke with you so you may as well give it up.

If you really want to find out, a more certain way than asking on a forum: try to talk to her. She'll probably ignore you or cut you short. Then try again in a few months. But it will likely make her more angry at you if you keep on bugging her. But I repeat, I don't see much hope here.

Reply 7

To be honest I would find that pretty hard to forgive...

Reply 8

I want to read the other thread but can't find it! Damn anon posters!

Reply 9

Arghh you bunch of crouts!

She'll get a visit on halloween and somethings will go bump or bang for sure.

Reply 10

Oh for crying out loud she's told you she doesn't want to know you, if you hadn't have lied you'd still be friends, learn in future.

Reply 12

Put simply, you're a tosser.

Reply 13

why would you even say that? jeez.

Reply 14

when i was in year 7 someome told me a huge lie and then got found out a few months later, and i have to say it really didnt bother me that shed lied. im fairly sure id do the same now, so yeh you could be friends again, but she prob wont respect you much anymore and will find it hard to trust you. maybe it would be easier for you not to bother with this friendship cos its going to take a lot of effort on your part and it might not be worth it.

Reply 15

it depends on the lie, and these people are apparently not in year 7...but yeh agreed in that the trust is gone and surely things would just be too awkward and on edge if you were friends again.

i think the moral here is, don't tell ****ing stupid lies to people you apparently care about and then expect them to forgive and forget...or maybe it's don't be so ****ing stupid.