Falling for ex again?

OK, so my ex and I were together for 3 years and broke up 3 years ago whilst at uni - she broke up with me but we were both quite immature and it simply wasn't working out because of this.

We've not really spoken much (a tiny bit, but not much) in the meantime but in the past month we've been talking a bit more and have met up a few times. The times we've met up, we have had a real laugh and have also been reminiscing about the 'old times' when we were together...it still seems like that 'spark' is there. She's in a relationship at the moment, although she says she really isn't happy in it (and he's done stuff anyway) so they won't be staying together much longer.

Thing is, when we've met up I've left with this feeling that I'm starting to fall for her again. The reasons for which we broke up seem to have gone now; we're both a lot more mature. We've also both apologised to each other for the mistakes we made when we were together. I'm not sure how/whether at all to do anything about this though, whether to mention something or even if I did what I would say or do. Or even if the feeling is even slightly reciprocated!

Any advice anyone? Do ex's ever get back together?

Reply 1

IDukem

Well first off, wait till she's officially broken up otherwise that'd be a bit of a meh-fest.

Secondly, usually if you've broken up because of something or other, then if you get back together again that very thing will pop up at some stage.However, 3 years is a long time and maturity would have altered some of yours and hers life views I guess. Although you are sill you and she is still she, both for your personalities might have altered a little and thus what happened three years ago could very well stay there 3 years ago and not come back to haunt you.

So I can't see why you shouldn't entertain the idea of perhaps giving it a second go a few years after trying the fist time. But after she officially breaks-up with the dude first :smile:

Reply 2

Zarek

It would be a nice story if it works out, but not so good if it rapidly turns to angst. My nostalgic heart says go for it. Follow your heart..

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Well, how do you go about mentioning these things? Should you just let it grow naturally again, or actually mention it? I can't help but think part of her thinks we're "just friends", but it feels as though the spark is there!

Reply 4

IDukem

Original post by Anonymous

You two get the joy of rediscovering each other by doing what you did 6 years ago and combining it with what you two like doing today...maybe :smile:

Reply 5

jenkinsear

Has boyfriend = off limits.

Really, it's quite simple.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by jenkinsear

Has boyfriend = off limits.

Really, it's quite simple.

If only real life was quite so simple!

Reply 7

jenkinsear

Original post by Anonymous

If only real life was quite so simple!

But it is. Would you like it if someone got with (or tried to) your girlfriend? The answer is no, so why are you doing that to someone else?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by jenkinsear

But it is. Would you like it if someone got with (or tried to) your girlfriend? The answer is no, so why are you doing that to someone else?

I wouldn't ever try to kiss someone in a relationship, for example, but some people stay in relationships longer than they want to due to circumstance...when two people have history, too, it adds something different to it I think. But hey, that's just my opinion :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by jenkinsear

But it is. Would you like it if someone got with (or tried to) your girlfriend? The answer is no, so why are you doing that to someone else?

I also think there's a difference between telling someone you have feelings for them and actually trying to get with them...

Reply 10

YesAllMen

Having a boyfriend doesn't make her off limits. If you want to get with her, go and try. Life's too short to give a **** about things like this.

edit: Okay, just saw your post above.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 11

jenkinsear

Original post by Anonymous

I also think there's a difference between telling someone you have feelings for them and actually trying to get with them...

I agree that's a fair comment.

I just think you're setting yourself up for trouble here. Do you really want to end up being a rebound? It's not healthy to jump from one partner to another like that.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by jenkinsear

I agree that's a fair comment.

I just think you're setting yourself up for trouble here. Do you really want to end up being a rebound? It's not healthy to jump from one partner to another like that.

That's a fair comment too. But to be honest isn't there always that kind of worry, with anyone, unless they've been single for ages?

Basically this girl and I were together 3 years, we split up at uni because I finished uni before her and whilst I was wanting to be boring and work, she was wanting to party etc. Different lives! Now it seems we're both doing the same things in life and have both grown up a lot since (me especially!).

Part of me thinks the past is best left in the past but then the other part of me thinks 'well, what if?'