Am I just scared? Asexual?

Okay... well.. this is awkward. To sum it up, I'm not sure if I'm asexual or just scared/embarrassed? I've recently been looking at the term asexual as someone who doesn't have sexual attraction to other people and are more attracted to their character rather than appearance/not being turned on by features i.e breast or muscles. Or they won't act upon it.

I'm in a relationship and the only thing that stops me from having sex is my genitals (uncomfortable and painful, as well as limiting to what I can do). I am hoping to get an operation called labiaplasty. My boyfriend saw it by accident a few weeks ago (he was aware of it when I told him before getting together but never showed him, just did things in the dark etc) and since then I've been too scared to let him do anything to me, however I'm happy to do things to myself. I also feel that I don't experience sexual attraction is because I don't have the potential to have sex with that person based on how I feel about my vagina However, if I have the operation and wasn't in a relationship then I'd feel it to be more normal to be sexually attracted to others because then there would be the potential to act upon it.

Over all, I'm not sure if I'm asexual or just scared about what other men will think of my vagina and I won't bother finding them sexually attractive because I won't let myself get to that stage as much as I'd want to?

bump?