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    Hi there, I am looking for an advice. Ok here's my story:
    I started dating this guy at uni(he's 30 and I am 18 but we are on the same course because he started later his higher education). We went out a few times now, and yesterday he told me that it was not I good idea for us to date because of the age difference. However I have always dated older guys around 28 or so, and I tried to explain him that I am different, and I am not the person who he thinks I will be(he thinks that at some point I will want to do things that 18 years old want to do...even though I don't know what he means by that, and I asked him but he could not explain it)... I told him that I've lived through all those 18 years old passions and that it should not be a problem, because I've already been with older men and I know what it is like. Even though he insists it will go wrong at some point.. I really like him and I know he likes me a lot too, but I still don't know how to make him understand that my behaviour and needs have nothing to do with those of the usual 18 years old girls... So please help me and give me some advice on how to persuade him ... Please
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    The one thing that you don't want to do in a relationship is force/manipulate/pressure/persuade someone into liking you or being with you. If he does not want to be with you, respect his wishes and let it be. You never know he might see the error of his ways and come crawling back but thats ifs and maybes.

    Don't start a relationship like this, it is unsteady foundations and you will end up getting even more hurt.

    Respect the guys wishes.

    Graham
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    I don't pressure him, I thinks it's might be causious about what people might say about our relationship.. ah I don't know.. But now it hurts quite a lot.. Can someone give me more advice.. please I am really upset..
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    You said you wanted to persuade him to like you!

    He made his position quite clear, why can't you just respect his wishes! If he does not want to go out with an 18 year old then thats his decision, maybe he wants to go out with someone older! Seriously, just respect what he has to say, it will be less hurtful in the long run.

    Graham
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    I think unfortunately that's good advice....yeah it will hurt, you can't be with someone you like and you're sure you know better, so you're frustrated. But this guy clearly thinks he knows best as well and the last thing you want to do is nag him into a relationship with you, should you end up together it'll just make him resent you if and when things go wrong in the future. In fact I think it's crucial you leave him alone, otherwise he's just going to end up thinking he was right about you and that you're behaving like a child. I totally sympathise with feeling like an "unusual", shall we say, 18 year old, but you really must back off - actions speak louder than words so SHOW him how mature you are. I'll probably get slated for this but I did read somewhere that men are like dogs...the more you call them and get annoyed and make your voice hoarse, the more they seem to find it funny to run away, but if you turn your back and start doing something that looks interesting, they'll come trotting back over. Hehe. I'm looking at my dog's stupid face right now. Anyway back to the point, tell him you think he's making a big mistake and that you could be really good together, then get your hair cut, buy some new clothes and make sure you always look fabulous when you see him. Smile and be polite if he speaks to you in the next few days/weeks. If he's the puppy for you he'll come running back to see who you're playing with instead of him and if not then you'll be able to move on. Woo long post I should really be in bed. Good luck.
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    :dito:

    :dito:

    :dito:


    all the above posts are correct


    you gotta live it, girl


    now you know what guys go through when the girl 'just doesnt wanna be with him'
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    sadly, i think its not a match made in heaven if you are trying to persuade him to see you for what you are. You could be the most mature 18 year old, but if he doesnt "get"you- well, he never will!
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    I'll probably get slated for this but I did read somewhere that men are like dogs...the more you call them and get annoyed and make your voice hoarse, the more they seem to find it funny to run away, but if you turn your back and start doing something that looks interesting, they'll come trotting back over. Hehe. I'm looking at my dog's stupid face right now.
    Lol...too true!

    Graham
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    You cannot persuade him he has told you plainly and simply that he does not want to go out with you, i'm sorry to sound harsh but that's how it is.

    Just because older guys in the past have gone out with you doesn't mean he will.
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    if your mature, then you will step back and let things go with the flow...why not be friends first or something and if he feels he wants to take it further after that, then he will
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    (Original post by gbduo)
    You said you wanted to persuade him to like you!

    He made his position quite clear, why can't you just respect his wishes! If he does not want to go out with an 18 year old then thats his decision, maybe he wants to go out with someone older! Seriously, just respect what he has to say, it will be less hurtful in the long run.

    Graham
    I did NOT say I was trying to persuade him to like me, because he already does! I wanted some advice on how to make him understand that I am not what he thinks I would be, and that I am mature enough to have a relationship with him..
    I quite liked the idea of tempting him... I am supposed to meet him tomorrow to discuss our future and I hope I would manage to make him understand, but I just needed some advice.. Anyways if someone has something to add please do so as my time is running out.. Thank you guys for your understading and support and I hope someone can help me even more..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did NOT say I was trying to persuade him to like me, because he already does! I wanted some advice on how to make him understand that I am not what he thinks I would be, and that I am mature enough to have a relationship with him..
    I quite liked the idea of tempting him... I am supposed to meet him tomorrow to discuss our future and I hope I would manage to make him understand, but I just needed some advice.. Anyways if someone has something to add please do so as my time is running out.. Thank you guys for your understading and support and I hope someone can help me even more..
    Ermmmm he does not like you because he turned you down, do you not get it, how the hell can you say he likes you if he just told you he does not want a relationship with you.
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    Will you tell a girl she's the most beautiful woman you've ever met if you did not like her?
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    Listen to the advice being said, if you don't and follow this vendetta and crusade to try and win him back it will end in tears sooner rather than later.

    Graham
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Will you tell a girl she's the most beautiful woman you've ever met if you did not like her?
    Would you tell a girl you did not want a relationship with her if you wanted a relationship with her :confused:

    Respect the guys wishes!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Will you tell a girl she's the most beautiful woman you've ever met if you did not like her?

    That means nothing, any guy can randomly tell you that, i could think the same if i saw you but it would not mean i like you.
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    He said it's the age diffence and supposedly the difference in our interests(even though he's got no clue yet of my interests)... Anyways I think that discussion should end... In this forum everytime someone asks for an advice, which should give you some hope, people end up offending you and making you even more upset..
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    What more do you want he has given you a reason, yes i know it hurts but you are going to have to accept that he does not want you, there are so many more guys out there.
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    Truth hurts hun

    Hope you have a successful discussion tomorrow

    Graham
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    It might not seem like it but no one's disputing that he likes you or that he finds you beautiful, we're not trying to offend your ability to attract guys, we're just saying that if he has categorically told you he doesn't want to be with you, there must be a reason for that. The last way you are going to win a guy back is by begging and clinging and whining. I speak from bitter experience, I know it's upsetting now but people are only trying to make sure you don't humiliate yourself. Distraction from said guy is the key. I recommend watching the ****-your-pants ending of Juon, now showing on Film4. Alternatively get a dog and watch its furry expressionless face for entertainment.
 
 
 
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