I can never be totally happy

I am never happy with my life, even in times when everything is going 'right' i will always find fault, and wont be compltely happy.

I am also very paranoid, i constantly think irationaly about freinds...thinking they will 'abandon' me, or being jelous because they are out with other freinds (even to such a degree that if they arnt on MSN i think 'have they gone out without me' or if they havent text for a few days i feel theyve forgotten me etc)

many of these freinds are amazing (when im thinking rationaly) and again when thinking rationaly they wouldent hurt me, but then my paranoia kicks in.

I am NOT like this in public (or at least i dont beleive i am) so my freinds know little of this, its only times like now that i feel depressed, paranoid and lonely.

does anyone else feel like this? (ie have delusional thoughts about freinds) and also what do people think i am best doing? should i talk to freinds about this or not?

as i said, i dont feel i display this behaviour in public, so im concious of telling this to a freind, and them being completely freaked out by me, and them then ignoring me like my fear is. Ie i want this situation to end, but am scared that taking action will make things even worse.

Reply 1

username47781

20

I doubt anyone is ever going to be completely satisfied in life, but you just got to take the positives in your own life.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Carl1982

I doubt anyone is ever going to be completely satisfied in life, but you just got to take the positives in your own life.

in a way i do agree, but i still feel i should be happier then i am.

i shouldent be this paranoid wreck, i have had a nice childhood, have nice freinds, have a car, have a nice uni house to rent etc etc

yet im still depressed, i actually can empathise with Robbie Williams sometimes (this may seem a strange topic to raise, but bear with me) despite being mega-famous, able to sell out stadiums in minutes and being completely loaded etc he is still tormented by mental issues such as depression. I feel i am similar (obviously without the singing career!) i just dont think i will ever be content with life.

Reply 3

Anarchy Everywhere

2

Seems like it's just a part of your thinking, see a shrink, i hope to be able to regularly go to a shrink when i'm older.

Reply 4

M j R

10

Too much going on in life, too many stressors. You tried meditating? Can be something that helps take though thoughts away, worth looking into, really it is. I don't meditate mind you because I have inner peace or whatever they call it. Listen to more music, another great way to de-stress, makes me happy, I end up dancing in my chair, I call it the chair dance.
If all that fails try talking to people about your concerns helped me get out a depressive state the other week.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

M j R

Too much going on in life, too many stressors. You tried meditating? Can be something that helps take though thoughts away, worth looking into, really it is. I don't meditate mind you because I have inner peace or whatever they call it. Listen to more music, another great way to de-stress, makes me happy, I end up dancing in my chair, I call it the chair dance.
If all that fails try talking to people about your concerns helped me get out a depressive state the other week.

thanks for your advice

i do need to destress a lot.

though talking to freinds will be quite a daunting task, as ill need to actually pin-point what it is thats bothering me, to be able to talk to them, as in some cases, im not actually sure what my issue is.

also how do people think i should approach the topic? should i just talk about whats bothering me to each freind, without saying im paranoid and depressed. Or should does anyone think its better to be upfront and say im depressed, and THEN discuss the problem.

im just concious (as i said earlier) of 'freeking' my freinds out and scaring them off a bit.

Reply 6

M j R

10

Anonymous

thanks for your advice

i do need to destress a lot.

though talking to freinds will be quite a daunting task, as ill need to actually pin-point what it is thats bothering me, to be able to talk to them, as in some cases, im not actually sure what my issue is.

also how do people think i should approach the topic? should i just talk about whats bothering me to each freind, without saying im paranoid and depressed. Or should does anyone think its better to be upfront and say im depressed, and THEN discuss the problem.

im just concious (as i said earlier) of 'freeking' my freinds out and scaring them off a bit.

Have you got one friend who you know will listen and that you can trust, it's probably worth while talking to them, I talked to my friend to help me work out why I was feeling down, I was worried about a lot of things and work out that something tiggered everything that I didn't realise I was worried about. Think back to a time when you first realised something wasn't quite right inside. If you can work that out you can destress a little.

When talking to friends just explain how you have been feeling a bit down lately like your life is worthless (or whatever you think of it) and start explaining that you can't figure out why this is the case. Also don't be affraid to mention things that are personal (but only if they might help in explaining what is going on, only if you can do that though don't feel pressured to do so). You don't have to speak to a friend it can be anyone who you feel will listen to you and help you. :smile:

I would suggest seeing a psychologist but I found out the other day that some people have been waiting over a year to see one, as the mental health system is on it's arse.

Reply 7

cheekynibbler

Yup i feel pretty much the same way!

I completely lost touch with my mates from home when i left for university. Now when i go back home i feel abandoned and lonely! Wondering if my friends are going to do the same.

My family is having major problems at the moment so its a constant worry. I keep on thinking that the worst is just around the corner, about to happen. It doesnt help that some of my closest friends keep on putting off visiting me at uni, so the paranoia kicks in.

I had a bought of depression about a year ago, and I thought that all my friends where laughing behind my back, making fun of me. But i spoke to them about it and they were really supportive and i got over it and was able to go back to uni, and carry on my life with a clear head.

I speak to them a lot on MSN but you cant really gauge a persons emotions over the internet, so i still get a bit paranoid, but i realise that this is my problem.

Apologies if this seems like completely random bullcrap, but i am very drunk.

Reply 8

filastini

14

You're not alone, no-one can.

I can never be totally happy

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