Right sorry for the long thread but ive tried to shorten it the best i can..
Ive been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years now im 18 and hes 17, turns 18 in a few months and his parents have always seemed to disliked me. They dont go out of their way to be nasty to me in person or anything like that, they hurt in the hardest way instead; by controlling my boyfriend and when we can and cant see each other.
Ive never done anything for them to not like me so im unsure as to why they are like this but they have been like it since we got together. We will plan to go out somewhere and his parents will refuse to pick him up but only tell him last minute just before were about to go, but my parents work late so they cant drop him home but i dont want him walking back in the dark on his own as he was mugged previously when we did it. Ill suggest him stopping at mine so he doesnt have to walk back on his own and so his parents will know he is safe and then he can travel back in the morning or they can come and get him but they will say no just for the sake of saying no, with no real reason.
They make excuses such as "family day the next day so he has to sleep at home" but then the next day he does nothing all day but isnt allowed to see me. This sometimes stops us going out at all as i dont want him getting hurt walking home alone but he cant get back so we have to cancel the plans and see each other another time.
They are different with his friends he can see them as many times as he likes and sleep around their houses 2/3 times a week if he wants but he cant see me more than twice a week and hes only ever slept around mine 5 times in the whole 4 years weve been together.
Its gotten to the point where my boyfriend has planned for us to go out and stay in a hotel and then his dad will ring and he tells him that he is staying at his friends house.. not with me and his dad just says ok. But if he would of said he was staying with me then his dad would have gone mad he even said so himself.. (i didnt know he had lied to his dad until we had already booked into the hotel and i dont condone lying and id rather his parents know where he is and who he is with)
These are just some small examples as to how they seem to show that they dislike me, does anyone have opinions and would think the same?
if they do dislike me how can I try and live with it, he has to do what they say because he lives there and isnt 18 yet but their making our relationship difficult as i can only see him twice a week max and he can never stay. Even when he does hes not allowed round until about 7pm and then he gets picked up at 11am.. (their rules) :/
I dont know how to be nice about it and ignore it anymore, after 4 years now its just making me angry but i have to be careful because obviously their his parents and i know he loves them dearly..
Anybody got any advice on how to deal with this? and i dont want suggestions of leaving my boyfriend because i love him and doing so is only punishing him for his parents behaviour.
What does he think about it?
Wow, well done for putting up with this for so long. He is getting to the age now where this level of control exerted by his parents is beginning to be more than a little unreasonable. Like the previous poster I am intrigued to see what your boyfriend thinks about this?
I know its probably harsh but I see only 2 REAL options
1) Try to talk to the parents with out your boyfriend as if he was there they might think that to may be influencing eachother's opinions, reassure them about how your relationship, how things are going and about your plans with him
2) Screw what they say and enjoy life! If they are normal then they shouldn't do anything irrational that would hurt their child (and therefore you kinda)
(This is only from personal experience)
Well my parents were VERY sceptical of my now gf, and my mum said that we couldnt see eachother or talk to eachother for six months. Me being an adolescent guy i didnt listen and listened to my hormones instead of my parents. After a bit they just left us alone about a week and now they love her being my gf and me being with her. I think its just mostly point of view