i want to be friends, he wants more. Help?! Watch

-maddy-
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#1
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This guy i've met recently told me that he was interested in me and could see himself liking me. I told him that i wasn't interested in him in that way, but we have good fun together, so could we just be friends? To which he replied that he could never see us just being friendly with one and other. He also admitted that his ego was to big to be 'friendzoned' and that it would be humiliating for him. Essentially we either have to be dating or nothing at all.
What should I do? i have thought reasonably had about this and i could never see us dating. Is he trying to emotionally blackmail me into going out with him?
Any advise would be much appreciated.
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Anonymous #1
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Don't go out with him.

Surely having someone in your life as a good friend is better than not having them at all? If he is unable to see / accept that, it's his loss. He needs to respect you.
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Anonymous #1
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Also to add to my previous point - what about when it comes to sex? Is he going to find it 'humiliating' if you tell him you're not ready?
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-maddy-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't go out with him.

Surely having someone in your life as a good friend is better than not having them at all? If he is unable to see / accept that, it's his loss. He needs to respect you.
Thanks for essential vindicating everything i was thinking.
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Eveiebaby
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He sounds like he'd be a **** partner. He has a very fragile sense of masculine pride and entitlement. It's a real shame. But I think that you need to stick by your guns as it would turn into union of pity and blackmail when you don't actually like him.

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samba
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He is perfectly entitled to take that view. Why should he be forced to waste time on you if you're not in a relationship and he doesn't see you as a friend?
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TurboCretin
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(Original post by -maddy-)
This guy i've met recently told me that he was interested in me and could see himself liking me. I told him that i wasn't interested in him in that way, but we have good fun together, so could we just be friends? To which he replied that he could never see us just being friendly with one and other. He also admitted that his ego was to big to be 'friendzoned' and that it would be humiliating for him. Essentially we either have to be dating or nothing at all.
What should I do? i have thought reasonably had about this and i could never see us dating. Is he trying to emotionally blackmail me into going out with him?
Any advise would be much appreciated.
Don't be friends?

He clearly doesn't want to be friends, he just wants to get into your pants. Why would you even want to be friends with a guy who sounds like he's only in it for one thing?
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Reue
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While I don't approval of his methods; he is still perfectly within his rights to either want a relationship or nothing.

You are equally right to offer friendship or nothing.

You've ready decided you don't want a relationship, and he's decided he doesn't want a friendship... so what's left to decide on??
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Andaxay
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#9
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(Original post by -maddy-)
He also admitted that his ego was to big to be 'friendzoned' and that it would be humiliating for him.
This part is just pathetic. I don't know what he was trying to achieve by telling you that. Rings a bit of an alarm bell to be honest, like he cares more about his pride than anything else.

He doesn't have to strike up a friendship with you if he only wants a relationship and likewise you don't have to have a relationship with him if you don't want. Sounds like you won't be able to compromise as you're both set on your feelings so the best thing to do is probably walk away. If you continue to talk he'll likely expect you to change your feelings. Don't enter a relationship for the sake of not losing him as you'll both be miserable that way.
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Maths and cheesecake
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The young man is clearly interested in you, all male friends who hang with their female friends are attracted to them, sometimes it is the other way around but that is such a rarity. So it is perfectly normal if you want to befriend him but you have to pussywhip and friendzone him. I know it may sounds harsh but here is my advice, tell him he is a nice guy and you enjoy his company, then without rejecting him don't talk or text for a while, at them moment he is outside his comfort zone and is ready to be rejected as his defense is up, so ignore his talk about your relationship just completely ignore him all together, when he goes back into his comfort zone, he will contact you to be friends, give it a while and agree.

That is how you make a man your *****.
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Zarek
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#11
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He's made his choice. Don't be relationship ultimatumed. These situations never work out well, at least he was transparent..
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Sultana2015
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Don't be friend.he just want to use you.
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Mankytoes
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It's reasonable to not want to be friends with a girl you want a relationship with, because it's hard to be around them, and you need to get over them. His reasons, though, are really pathetic.
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gr8wizard10
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#14
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That's how it is.. Men and women can't be 'just friends'.. that's moist on the man's behalf tbf. His freinds would probably take the piss out of him, as I've experienced :lol:.. cut connects for him, you'll be doing him a favour he can move onto the next girl.
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