i have a good friend who has always had some problems going on in their life with self harm, they also have some health problems which seem fairly serious -they dont go to school very often, although im not sure how much of this is down to maybe depression? i dont see them very often and i dont really know how far i can pry. they were raised in a strict religious household but no longer wants to be part of it, considering they dont want to be part of a community with such strict gender and sexuality boundaries. i know there's not anything i can actually do, but i feel really bad when i see them tweet stuff sometimes about being unhappy at home and i would kind of like to know if anybody has any ideas about how i could make them feel better sometimes? i know you dont know them so its a tough question, but when theyre sad i like to send them a message, and i wanna know how far its ok to ask for more details? if they mention being ill/health problems should i ask more to show i care, or should i not pry? not quite sure what i expect people to say to this, oh well. thanks.
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- Thread Starter
- 07-01-2015 17:59
- 07-01-2015 18:22
How about 'if you want to talk about anything, I'd be happy to listen, come over to mine'. Be careful about offering single solutions if they do talk though - try not to judge, these things are often complex, especially where parents are concerned. Your friend might have conflicting feelings about parents that are difficult to reconcile. If you are asked directly 'what should I do' try to set out a few different options - ultimately they have to decide for themselves - or suggest someone else they could talk to, maybe a teacher they trust, someone in a welfare role at school maybe?
It's good you want to send them a message so they know you're there and thinking of them. The Time to Change website has some advice on talking to friends with mental health problems like depression, you might find it helpful.
Apologies to those who don't like seeing parents on TSR - just trying to help.
- 07-01-2015 18:40
Um, show that you care but don't pry at the same time?
Spend time with them, try to make them feel better but don't bring things up if they don't want to talk about it.
Try to take their mind off it but not to the point that they feel that you're disregarding the fact that they're unhappy.
Basically there's a thin line between prying and caring. Just be there for them.
Speaking from experience as my friend is going through problems at home with divorce and depression etc. She doesn't want to be reminded of it constantly so it's good to discuss other things. But if she's having a bad day, just being there to talk really helps to make them feel that they're not alone. Don't judge or argue with them though.
Not sure if this helps. :/ Just speaking from experience and I don't know your friend so I don't know how they react to certain things. Some people like to hash it out, some people hate talking about personal things etc. You know your friend best. Do what you think will be the best way.
Hope your friend feels better soon.