I'm 16 and I have been experiencing eating problems for about 18 months and I am at the point now where I feel I need to get help if I want to ever be happy again. I really dislike my body and feel disgusting and fat. My doctor and a psychiatrist I saw assured me that I was not overweight and have a healthy BMI. I am almost scared to eat full proper meals because of them making me fat and feel ashamed of myself. Therefore when I go to sixth form I take very little food like a piece of fruit or a small salad with either having a very little or no breakfast. I feel like I know that when I get home I'm going to binge eat. I don't binge eat for ages but for about 10 minutes or so. I just have little bits of literally everything I find - a few chrisps, broken pieces of biscuit in the biscuit tin, cereal, fruit and sometimes other things. This usually only happens when no one else is home because I don't want them to see. But I have tried repeatedly to make myself sick but I cant. After binging, I'll try to make myself sick and then either have something very little for dinner or eat what everyone else is having and then not eat the next day (until I binge). I'm scared I'll become really fat, ill and will have no one to love me. Last year I missed 9 months of periods and the doctor said it was because of my eating and I've now started missing them again. I can't talk to my mom because I don't have a good relationship with her. I have counselling in sixth form but I find it really awkward. That's why I thought I should try and speak to some people who may have experienced it !!?!! If i was happy, then i dont think i would binge..
Thank you so much!
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Last edited by Sabertooth; 07-01-2015 at 21:40.
- 07-01-2015 18:28
- 08-01-2015 11:30
EDIT: I just wrote a huge post about binge eating disorder, but upon close reading of your post (which I should have done in the first place) it actually sounds more like anorexia to me. You have a fear of gaining weight, and you're not eating enough. What you're describing as a binge IS NOT a binge. When my BED was at its height I could eat 3 bags of crisps, 3 chunky kit kats, a share bag of mini maryland cookies.. that was pretty much a normal evening snack when I was at uni. After my main meal as well.
You should talk to your GP about the way you feel about food. I'm sorry if you happened to read my original post - it was way off the mark.Last edited by xoxAngel_Kxox; 08-01-2015 at 11:33.
- 08-01-2015 21:13
You definitely sound like you've got anorexia. I had an eating disorder for a few months (and I'm the same age as you and not close to my mum)but instead of anorexia,I had bulimia. My self esteem was rock bottom and I started to binge eat. When I say binge eat I mean I could eat down a whole loaf of bread, a tub of hummus and then a whole packet of chocolate digestives. Rather than exercising it off, I began to force myself to throw up and I would eat so many laxatives because I had the same idea as you; if I was fat nobody would love me. I haven't had an eating disorder for like a year now and I can't relate to you completely. But I will say that you need to find professional help because eating disorders like anorexia are deadly. PM me whenever you want if you want to talk
Good luck xxx
- 08-01-2015 21:28
I know pretty much exactly how you feel. I had amenorrhea for 5 years and had an eating disorder for 7 years. I initially started to starve myself because I felt fat etc. Lost 3 stones. I couldn't bare to eat a thing without thinking that I would get fat. I then gradually started to force myself to eat properly again (being admitted to the hospital was a shock and made me really think that starvation is NOT worth it)!! Through this, I wanted to purge. So, I suffered with bulimia for a year or 2. Trying to recover from bulimia is hard. You binge, but you have to stop yourself from purging and that's what is so hard to mentally overcome. I am not for one minute saying that you will go through what I have been through, but the cycle is extremely common for people who have gone through anorexia.
I don't want you to go through what I have been through. Wasting your time worrying about food / exercise / if people love you etc is NOT worth it. You need to start loving yourself for who you are, try your hardest not to care what people think and do things that make you happy. Have friends around you who love you for who you are. Talking about things really helps. I also used to write a diary about what I ate, when I ate and how I felt about it. If you read over it the next week, you will realize that what you ate on Monday (for example) really does not matter anymore on Monday of the next week.
If you ever want anyone to talk to please feel free to message me.