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Annoying flatmate or me being oversensitive? watch

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    I've lived with my best friend of several years since the end of October. We generally get on well and otherwise I enjoy living with him. However, he has a habit which really irritates me. Am I justified in being angry and wanting an end to this behaviour or am I being too sensitive and he has a right to do this?

    He likes to play videogames, and plays them in his bedroom pretty much most of the day. He also likes to talk on Skype with the people he is playing with. This doesn't bother me during the day.

    But it is really annoying me that he is jabbering away on Skype at night when I'm trying to sleep in the room next door. Particularly when he is winning/losing and begins shouting, yelling, stomping, clapping, etc. There have been many times, around every second night during the holidays, that he has either kept me awake until the early hours or woken me up. When I have an early alarm but he can sleep all day and he keeps me up all night yelling away at his videogame friends is when I particularly lose my temper.

    I have brought the issue up with him several times, in light hearted ways, in angry ways, in joking ways, in serious ways, he has not listened.

    Am I justified in being angry with him?
    Am I justified in asking him not to be on Skype late at night?

    If yes, how do I approach this situation with him and make him listen?
    If no, any advice on how I can sleep easier?

    Thank you
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    My brother is a keen gamer, he keeps the door of his room closed so that the rest of my family (inc. myself) don't hear him scream at the computer. Downside is, I always have to knock on his door and tell him it's dinner time.

    He is grown up, it wouldn't be nice to deny him something that he believes he can control (and the same applies to your flatmate). Unless you have a thin wall between your and your flatmate's room, you could easily shut his bedroom door. Otherwise, maybe listen to some music with your earphones before you go to sleep?
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    OP you sound like a flatmate I hated living with at uni. Always complaining about how I had the TV on too loud when playing games.

    I responded by turning up the volume whenever she complained.
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    People like this are pathetic, especially when they start screaming about it. I have a 14 year old brother and it absolutely makes me cringe.

    Just mock him for being a loser and he will probably tone it down.
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    (Original post by voiceofreason234)
    OP you sound like a flatmate I hated living with at uni. Always complaining about how I had the TV on too loud when playing games.

    I responded by turning up the volume whenever she complained.
    It's not so much the noise of the actual game which gets on my nerves. It's when he shouts and yells. Shouting and yelling consistently, late at night for any other reason or from a neighbour etc, I think would also annoy me as it stops me sleeping.
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    My brother is a keen gamer, he keeps the door of his room closed so that the rest of my family (inc. myself) don't hear him scream at the computer. Downside is, I always have to knock on his door and tell him it's dinner time.

    He is grown up, it wouldn't be nice to deny him something that he believes he can control (and the same applies to your flatmate). Unless you have a thin wall between your and your flatmate's room, you could easily shut his bedroom door. Otherwise, maybe listen to some music with your earphones before you go to sleep?

    (Original post by Huskaris)
    People like this are pathetic, especially when they start screaming about it. I have a 14 year old brother and it absolutely makes me cringe.

    Just mock him for being a loser and he will probably tone it down.
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    (Original post by Kerrias)
    It's not so much the noise of the actual game which gets on my nerves. It's when he shouts and yells. Shouting and yelling consistently, late at night for any other reason or from a neighbour etc, I think would also annoy me as it stops me sleeping.
    You get annoyed that he keeps you up when you want to sleep.

    But you're awake when he's asleep right (presuming he sleeps during most of the daytime if he's up until the early hours of the morning). Does he have the right to tell you to quit talking on skype at 10am because it's keeping him up?

    If not that I suggest suck it up. Situations like this are part and parcel of sharing a house. It's like people who whine constantly about cleaning the kitchen or dirty pots been left in the sink...it happens everywhere and is totally standard. No one likes a complainer.
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    (Original post by voiceofreason234)
    You get annoyed that he keeps you up when you want to sleep.

    But you're awake when he's asleep right (presuming he sleeps during most of the daytime if he's up until the early hours of the morning). Does he have the right to tell you to quit talking on skype at 10am because it's keeping him up?

    If not that I suggest suck it up. Situations like this are part and parcel of sharing a house. It's like people who whine constantly about cleaning the kitchen or dirty pots been left in the sink...it happens everywhere and is totally standard. No one likes a complainer.
    I'm usually not home during the day and he is. That's part of the problem for me, if I could just sleep all day with him it would be fine. However, for the short time I get up and ready, whilst I am by no means silent and just go around my daily life, when I am aware he is sleeping, I wouldn't shout, slam doors or anything that's likely to wake him up.

    Perhaps I should just start being as noisy as possible when I get up in the mornings, with no regard to the fact he is sleeping, so that he will be having as much sleep as me, and eventually have to start going to bed earlier.
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    (Original post by Kerrias)
    I'm usually not home during the day and he is. That's part of the problem for me, if I could just sleep all day with him it would be fine. However, for the short time I get up and ready, whilst I am by no means silent and just go around my daily life, when I am aware he is sleeping, I wouldn't shout, slam doors or anything that's likely to wake him up.

    Perhaps I should just start being as noisy as possible when I get up in the mornings, with no regard to the fact he is sleeping, so that he will be having as much sleep as me, and eventually have to start going to bed earlier.
    Surely if you're out most of the day he'll just sleep then?

    Been woken up at night by flatmates really is totally normal and it's not worth complaining about.

    You could always try getting some ear plugs to wear while you sleep?
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    Personally, I think he is being really rude. This is one of the major things I hated about uni - people having no respect for others. There is nothing wrong with him playing on video games at all hours, but it is really rude to make a load of noise at unsociable hours. In my opinion, people should try and be as quiet as possible between the hours of 11pm and 7/8am. Outside of those hours, I don't see a problem with making noise, whether he is asleep or not. He CHOOSES to sleep during the day - it isn't normal to do that unless you are a shift worker. If he HAS to sleep during the day because of work (say he is a nurse or something like that), then I think it is reasonable for him to expect you to be as quiet as you can during the day.

    People saying that it is normal to be woken up by flatmates are part of the problem! It shouldn't be normal to go around making a load of noise at night. If I was making a load of noise in a residential area in the middle of the night, it would not surprise me if someone called the police about it because it isn't ok to do that. Why should it be ok in a houseshare of young people? I have stayed in hostels quite a bit on my travels, and it always amazes me that people think it is completely fine to come in at 4am and make a load of noise, talking as if it is the middle of the day! That is really rude and disrespectful IMO.
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    It's about being considerate, you wouldn't disturb him when he's sleeping so why should he do that to you? I say, sit him down and tell him straight up how annoying it is. Tell him that he either needs to keep it down or he needs to stop playing and get some sleep during the night so he can play in the day time. tbh i find it quite pathetic how he spends his productive time but i get that it's a personal preference
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    (Original post by Kerrias)
    I've lived with my best friend of several years since the end of October. We generally get on well and otherwise I enjoy living with him. However, he has a habit which really irritates me. Am I justified in being angry and wanting an end to this behaviour or am I being too sensitive and he has a right to do this?

    He likes to play videogames, and plays them in his bedroom pretty much most of the day. He also likes to talk on Skype with the people he is playing with. This doesn't bother me during the day.

    But it is really annoying me that he is jabbering away on Skype at night when I'm trying to sleep in the room next door. Particularly when he is winning/losing and begins shouting, yelling, stomping, clapping, etc. There have been many times, around every second night during the holidays, that he has either kept me awake until the early hours or woken me up. When I have an early alarm but he can sleep all day and he keeps me up all night yelling away at his videogame friends is when I particularly lose my temper.

    I have brought the issue up with him several times, in light hearted ways, in angry ways, in joking ways, in serious ways, he has not listened.

    Am I justified in being angry with him?
    Am I justified in asking him not to be on Skype late at night?

    If yes, how do I approach this situation with him and make him listen?
    If no, any advice on how I can sleep easier?

    Thank you
    Invite him to your bed, chances are he'll forget his computer games and join you for sleeping...after. :P


    Okay bad jokes aside I really don't know. You could do something he hates and make a point of it, so that he learns that if he stays up all night making noise than you will continue to do whatever it is he finds distractingly annoying.

    Or you could move out? It's not the easiest, but it DOES deal with an annoying flatmate who refuses to change.

    Who pays the internet bill? If it's 'your internet' you can simply change the passwords and stuff and cut him off after your bed-time.


    Wish I ahd a better idea for a solution, best of luck OP, he sounds like a bit of a dong.
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    (Original post by voiceofreason234)
    You get annoyed that he keeps you up when you want to sleep.

    But you're awake when he's asleep right (presuming he sleeps during most of the daytime if he's up until the early hours of the morning). Does he have the right to tell you to quit talking on skype at 10am because it's keeping him up?

    If not that I suggest suck it up. Situations like this are part and parcel of sharing a house. It's like people who whine constantly about cleaning the kitchen or dirty pots been left in the sink...it happens everywhere and is totally standard. No one likes a complainer.
    No, isn't standard to keep your housemates up all night or be a disgusting inconsiderate slob. At least it doesn't have to be.
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    Part of living together is being considerate. When I lived at uni, we were asked to keep our noise down when others were sleeping or would be studying. Can't understand why it's so hard tbh.
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    (Original post by Kerrias)
    I've lived with my best friend of several years since the end of October. We generally get on well and otherwise I enjoy living with him. However, he has a habit which really irritates me. Am I justified in being angry and wanting an end to this behaviour or am I being too sensitive and he has a right to do this?

    He likes to play videogames, and plays them in his bedroom pretty much most of the day. He also likes to talk on Skype with the people he is playing with. This doesn't bother me during the day.

    But it is really annoying me that he is jabbering away on Skype at night when I'm trying to sleep in the room next door. Particularly when he is winning/losing and begins shouting, yelling, stomping, clapping, etc. There have been many times, around every second night during the holidays, that he has either kept me awake until the early hours or woken me up. When I have an early alarm but he can sleep all day and he keeps me up all night yelling away at his videogame friends is when I particularly lose my temper.

    I have brought the issue up with him several times, in light hearted ways, in angry ways, in joking ways, in serious ways, he has not listened.

    Am I justified in being angry with him?
    Am I justified in asking him not to be on Skype late at night?

    If yes, how do I approach this situation with him and make him listen?
    If no, any advice on how I can sleep easier?

    Thank you
    this describes me perfectly xD

    I think you should definitely complain to him, say that it's disturbing you and get him to not shout. He really should ought to be able to talk quietly on skype while wearing headphones and for you not to hear, but he shouldn't be shouting loudly.

    For sleeping advice, maybe play like soothing music at a minimal volume by your bed?
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    Play the game with him one night. Just constantly screech and yell and clap in his ear and watch his face turn sour. Do not stop until he is close to punching you. Then when he says Wtf tell him that's the exact rage you feel when you're woken up night after night with that ****.
    I find the best way to get through to ignorant people is display the same behaviour they impose on you. Trust me I've done it plenty and I'm yet to lose the game so far.
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    I would just find a new place. Shouting at night is way beyond the bounds of acceptability.
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    (Original post by voiceofreason234)
    You get annoyed that he keeps you up when you want to sleep.

    But you're awake when he's asleep right (presuming he sleeps during most of the daytime if he's up until the early hours of the morning). Does he have the right to tell you to quit talking on skype at 10am because it's keeping him up?

    If not that I suggest suck it up. Situations like this are part and parcel of sharing a house. It's like people who whine constantly about cleaning the kitchen or dirty pots been left in the sink...it happens everywhere and is totally standard. No one likes a complainer.
    If she's talking really, really loudly then yes he does have the right to tell her. As she said, it's not that he's playing games early into the morning, but the shouting and stomping which is keeping her from sleeping and that's not really fair is it? True no one likes a complainer, I agree with you on that, and at university it's bound to happen, but still, you've got to have some respect for others, especially since they're BEST friends?
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    (Original post by voiceofreason234)
    You get annoyed that he keeps you up when you want to sleep.

    But you're awake when he's asleep right (presuming he sleeps during most of the daytime if he's up until the early hours of the morning). Does he have the right to tell you to quit talking on skype at 10am because it's keeping him up?

    If not that I suggest suck it up. Situations like this are part and parcel of sharing a house. It's like people who whine constantly about cleaning the kitchen or dirty pots been left in the sink...it happens everywhere and is totally standard. No one likes a complainer.
    "Everyone else is doing it" is not a valid excuse for being inconsiderate, and you should have learned that in preschool.
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    Course it's a valid reason, since OP's implication is that it's not acceptable to do this at 'night time' when 'most people' are sleeping.

    I'm saying this 'most people' thing isn't anywhere near correct. At uni it's extremely common for students to sleep a lot of the day and be up all night. Why should he conform to her sleeping pattern?

    Absolutely no one likes people who ***** and whine about this sort of thing. Just buy some ear plugs if it's that big of a deal, problem solved.
 
 
 
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