Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Not getting second dates watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been on a few dates recently and whilst I find it very easy to get the first, I've had a great deal of difficulty getting a second.

    In 5 dates, I found 3 compatible, of which 2 agreed to a second on the day and one absolutely couldn't keep her ****ing hands off me.

    In the two I didn't find compatible I sent a polite "thanks for coming" message the following day, got a response, left it there.

    On the one that I didn't ask for a second date on the day but did kiss, I got a response the following day but nothing came out of it.

    On the two that agreed to a second date on the first, both of whom I kissed, both of whom there was clear mutual attraction from, I didn't get a response the following day.

    I don't get it. If the first goes well, you try a second. It's not like we both got drunk and she did something she regretted as there wasn't that much alcohol involved in the first place.

    Anybody know what I might be doing wrong? I doubt I'm coming across as over eager because really I'm not looking for anything in particular. I've just come out of a breakup from a very long term relationship and just want to experience a bit of normality. I don't think I'm unattractive, I'm successful (academically and professionally) and not particularly arrogant about it. The dates go, on occasion, really well and I don't know what's up.

    Anybody care to shed light? What would cause you to not sign up to a second if the first went well?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Where did you find these girls? They may be a clue as to what they're after
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    In my experience creating the idea of what 'we' can do in the future is a very powerful tactic. On your date you should assume there is going to be a second, third, fourth etc - This will guide the woman into seeing you in that way.

    don't be like most guys and go 'oh yeah, we should hangout again sometime, I had fun - blah blah' - instead say something like 'you know, there's this awesome circus show coming to town, we should definitely go, I'll have a look at tickets'

    Obviously you don't have to take her to the circus that's just a random example
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been on a few dates recently and whilst I find it very easy to get the first, I've had a great deal of difficulty getting a second.

    In 5 dates, I found 3 compatible, of which 2 agreed to a second on the day and one absolutely couldn't keep her ****ing hands off me.

    In the two I didn't find compatible I sent a polite "thanks for coming" message the following day, got a response, left it there.

    On the one that I didn't ask for a second date on the day but did kiss, I got a response the following day but nothing came out of it.

    On the two that agreed to a second date on the first, both of whom I kissed, both of whom there was clear mutual attraction from, I didn't get a response the following day.

    I don't get it. If the first goes well, you try a second. It's not like we both got drunk and she did something she regretted as there wasn't that much alcohol involved in the first place.

    Anybody know what I might be doing wrong? I doubt I'm coming across as over eager because really I'm not looking for anything in particular. I've just come out of a breakup from a very long term relationship and just want to experience a bit of normality. I don't think I'm unattractive, I'm successful (academically and professionally) and not particularly arrogant about it. The dates go, on occasion, really well and I don't know what's up.

    Anybody care to shed light? What would cause you to not sign up to a second if the first went well?
    I'm just saying from my experience. A date I went on a few months ago - the guy I was with was attracted to me, said he had a good time etc and when he asked me, I said yes I had a good time. I didn't. For me, it was awkward to tell him face to face "I didn't have a good time, you're probably not seeing me again". It just makes the rest of the night awkward. I kissed him at the end of the night since he leaned in. But no, he didn't hear from me again. It's bad on my part for not being straight with him, but whatever.

    With these girls, they may have enjoyed /not enjoyed the date, but don't want to continue meeting you. They may have a few dates lined up this week and will get back to you if you make the next stage. Who knows. Usually in this type of thing, actions after the date will tell you more about how much they enjoyed themselves rather than the actual date.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 8, 2015
Poll
Do I go to The Streets tomorrow night?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.