This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- should i think this?
- college
- do you think this is acceptable as an adult?
- Feel like a loser at home but am dreading going back to uni.
- Looking for housemate in Leamington 2025/26
- Is it really over if I have no social circle and getting 0 matches on dating apps?
- Housemate and relationships
- Cheerleading help
- Bullying because of being bisexual
- Bullying housemates - ignoring me
- Roommate Dilemma
- Was the bullying I faced in high school really unusual and severe?
- Is it common for a girl to walk around in a towel after shower?
- I urgently need to let out my room in shared student accomodation
- Are single-sex schools a thing of the past? Should they be abolished or not?
- everyone thinks im lesbian.
- Looking for a housemate in Leamington
- Warwick/Coventry Tenancy Takeover
- Looking for a housemate Salford M6
- Room available Lincoln student house 2025-2026
Being bullied by male housemate. Help.
hi
please reader i really need some advice about a housemate at university.
I am a female 2nd year student. I am staying in a house with three male students, and no females. I am not a tom boy, it was just that my first choice fell through and this male friend offered.
I was acquaintices with two of the men, and the third man was a friend. At the end of last year the male friend and I fell out, but then made up right at the end. The reason why we fell out made me realise how cold, cruel and nasty this person could be. Although he has always admitted that he is a cold bastard, I finally saw why. I was therefore a little nervous about staying in the same house as him this year.
I have been in this house with him and the other guys for the last two months. It has been horrible.
In the beginning i went out of my way to help him with various problems he had. i really wanted to be friends with him and make the house nice for everyone. Even though i wasn't real friends with the other two males I would also help them with problems; i wanted everyone to feel happy and comfortable in this house.
Maybe it was all my fault but I kept asking the guys to turn the lights off when they left the room. I hate waste u see. I also asked one guy to stop playing his music really loud at 3am in the morning when i had a 9am lecture the next morning.
anyway, just suddenly out of the blue, i hear my male friend slagging me down to the other housemates who are sitting in his room. I listen, and then I ask him what i have done wrong. He tells me he hates my essence and never wants to see me again. The other men are in his room and appear to take his side.
That was two months ago. Well, the next week he knocks on my door and says he wants things to be cool. I say yes, that would be great. But the next day he ignores me and then starts slagging me down openly
Then two weeks later, after completely avoding him, he ie very drunk and knocks on my door again really late when nobody is in the house. He acts so sincere and asks me to have a drink with him. I don't want to be rude; but he gets me very drunk. He was literally forcing the alcohol down me. He starts kissing me and then i blank out.
The next morning he continues to ignore me. Since then and until now (1 month) he has ridiculed me with the other housemates. He has slagged me down round the university and turned other people against me. One of the male housemates told me he is deliberately trying to provoke me, and doesn;t know why. The housemate who said this then told me he feels sorry for me, but then joins in with the other guys when they say things about me.
Then today the guy brings a girl and guy round. I was downstairs when they arrived. I said hello, and they were receptive. They went upstairs where they were met by the guy. He then started shouting 'did u see her? she is the one' 'that's her', and then the girl replies 'yeh, i thought she was a proper bitch'. They laugh. I leave the house.
I feel like there is no escape. At home they are ridiculing me. At uni this is the same. My old friends from last year have been turned against me by him. I just don't understand what i have done. I am thinking about just quitting uni, and going back to Sweden. I have thought about movins somewhere else but there is no where available.
Help
please reader i really need some advice about a housemate at university.
I am a female 2nd year student. I am staying in a house with three male students, and no females. I am not a tom boy, it was just that my first choice fell through and this male friend offered.
I was acquaintices with two of the men, and the third man was a friend. At the end of last year the male friend and I fell out, but then made up right at the end. The reason why we fell out made me realise how cold, cruel and nasty this person could be. Although he has always admitted that he is a cold bastard, I finally saw why. I was therefore a little nervous about staying in the same house as him this year.
I have been in this house with him and the other guys for the last two months. It has been horrible.
In the beginning i went out of my way to help him with various problems he had. i really wanted to be friends with him and make the house nice for everyone. Even though i wasn't real friends with the other two males I would also help them with problems; i wanted everyone to feel happy and comfortable in this house.
Maybe it was all my fault but I kept asking the guys to turn the lights off when they left the room. I hate waste u see. I also asked one guy to stop playing his music really loud at 3am in the morning when i had a 9am lecture the next morning.
anyway, just suddenly out of the blue, i hear my male friend slagging me down to the other housemates who are sitting in his room. I listen, and then I ask him what i have done wrong. He tells me he hates my essence and never wants to see me again. The other men are in his room and appear to take his side.
That was two months ago. Well, the next week he knocks on my door and says he wants things to be cool. I say yes, that would be great. But the next day he ignores me and then starts slagging me down openly
Then two weeks later, after completely avoding him, he ie very drunk and knocks on my door again really late when nobody is in the house. He acts so sincere and asks me to have a drink with him. I don't want to be rude; but he gets me very drunk. He was literally forcing the alcohol down me. He starts kissing me and then i blank out.
The next morning he continues to ignore me. Since then and until now (1 month) he has ridiculed me with the other housemates. He has slagged me down round the university and turned other people against me. One of the male housemates told me he is deliberately trying to provoke me, and doesn;t know why. The housemate who said this then told me he feels sorry for me, but then joins in with the other guys when they say things about me.
Then today the guy brings a girl and guy round. I was downstairs when they arrived. I said hello, and they were receptive. They went upstairs where they were met by the guy. He then started shouting 'did u see her? she is the one' 'that's her', and then the girl replies 'yeh, i thought she was a proper bitch'. They laugh. I leave the house.
I feel like there is no escape. At home they are ridiculing me. At uni this is the same. My old friends from last year have been turned against me by him. I just don't understand what i have done. I am thinking about just quitting uni, and going back to Sweden. I have thought about movins somewhere else but there is no where available.
Help
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
erm i don't know much about university and stuff but that sounds terrible. there must be some body or union or someone of authority that you can go to and explain the problem. you shouldn't have to put up with that. i mean i doubt there is much you can do on your own to rectify the situation but there must be someone higher up the ladder that you can go to and explain the problem. get some evidence together maybe that you can use to prove some of the stuff that happens. i feel for you though sounds horrible
sounds horribleFor one, isn't there any people you can tell at University? If so, please do. What a douchebag.
Second point, don't drop out of university because of that dumb**** (excuse my french), it just shows him you are giving in and that douche is nowhere worth putting your future in jeopardy in.
Third, ditch you other male friends. They clearly AREN'T your real friends (as you stated anyhow).
All in all, try and move into a different accomadation. You shouldn't put up with that bull****.
P.S - You claim you blanked out after gettin' drunk. Did anything happen by any chance during that time?
Second point, don't drop out of university because of that dumb**** (excuse my french), it just shows him you are giving in and that douche is nowhere worth putting your future in jeopardy in.
Third, ditch you other male friends. They clearly AREN'T your real friends (as you stated anyhow).
All in all, try and move into a different accomadation. You shouldn't put up with that bull****.
P.S - You claim you blanked out after gettin' drunk. Did anything happen by any chance during that time?
Reply 3
eyah if something happened thats jackpot he can be done for rape. litereally if there was any unwanted physical contact and they're getting the law in the UK changed at the moment so that the alcohol thing would have more serious consequences as well. all in all this guy seems like such a ****head ******
Reply 4
andy_cole2
eyah if something happened thats jackpot he can be done for rape. litereally if there was any unwanted physical contact and they're getting the law in the UK changed at the moment so that the alcohol thing would have more serious consequences as well. all in all this guy seems like such a ****head ******
I completely blanked out. It's like we kissed and then that was it, i woke up hours later in my bedroom. He definitely engineered the whole night, but I don't think he penetrated me. No, he didn't.
Reply 5
ok as satisfying as that may seem... its quite unrealistic... mayb i ask how come you cant find different accomodation?? surely there's alternatives around a university.
Reply 6
there can be way less than penetration and he can be done for a whole range of things. anyway erm i think moving is the best option there must be somewhere else you can go/ someone you can swap with or osmething...
Reply 7
Well I guess I haven't really searched that hard. I have lots of academic work to do, and i have felt really low lately. I suppose there could be some different accomodation, but the landlord said that i would continue to be liable for the rent share until he finds a new housemate. That was the contract, u see.
Because it may cost me so much money which I dont have, i wonder am i blowing this out of proportion. Am i right to feel unhappy there?
Because it may cost me so much money which I dont have, i wonder am i blowing this out of proportion. Am i right to feel unhappy there?
Reply 8
Anonymous
I completely blanked out. It's like we kissed and then that was it, i woke up hours later in my bedroom. He definitely engineered the whole night, but I don't think he penetrated me. No, he didn't.
That's pretty chilling stuff. What's your dilemma? Leave, without a doubt.
Reply 9
Anonymous
Well I guess I haven't really searched that hard. I have lots of academic work to do, and i have felt really low lately. I suppose there could be some different accomodation, but the landlord said that i would continue to be liable for the rent share until he finds a new housemate. That was the contract, u see.
Because it may cost me so much money which I dont have, i wonder am i blowing this out of proportion. Am i right to feel unhappy there?
Because it may cost me so much money which I dont have, i wonder am i blowing this out of proportion. Am i right to feel unhappy there?
Do you know any lawyers? Try and speak to one. I'm sure they can find some grounds for you not to be liable for the rent, if a judge or someone looks at your situation. You have been forced out of there.
Reply 10
You are definitely right to feel unhappy there. These guys sound like total arseholes - and its one of the worst feelings in the world to know that people are talking about you behind your back.
What about the people that you were going to share a house with before? Are you still friends with them? I would recommend spending as much time out of the house and with real friends as possible. You're right - moving accomodation would be costly and time consuming, and you would be liable for the rent. Possibly an easier solution would simply be to spend lots of time at the houses of other friends, coming back only to work and sleep.
Remember - the uni year is only about 1/3 of the actual year (20 weeks). You will get to be at home during the holidays. Next year, you can move back in to halls (I know plenty of 3rd years who did that) and get to know some new people. These guys sound likes bastards. Nobody deserves that kind of crap and it's is DEFINITELY NOT your fault, so don't blame yourself. Sounds like this guy has got self-esteem problems, along with attitude, behavioural and others.
It's not your fault. Spend as much time out of the house as you can.
What about the people that you were going to share a house with before? Are you still friends with them? I would recommend spending as much time out of the house and with real friends as possible. You're right - moving accomodation would be costly and time consuming, and you would be liable for the rent. Possibly an easier solution would simply be to spend lots of time at the houses of other friends, coming back only to work and sleep.
Remember - the uni year is only about 1/3 of the actual year (20 weeks). You will get to be at home during the holidays. Next year, you can move back in to halls (I know plenty of 3rd years who did that) and get to know some new people. These guys sound likes bastards. Nobody deserves that kind of crap and it's is DEFINITELY NOT your fault, so don't blame yourself. Sounds like this guy has got self-esteem problems, along with attitude, behavioural and others.
It's not your fault. Spend as much time out of the house as you can.
Anonymous
I suppose there could be some different accomodation, but the landlord said that i would continue to be liable for the rent share until he finds a new housemate. That was the contract, u see.
Thats a strange contract. Usuallly it is the remaining tenants that are liable to pay. Have a reread on the tenenacy agreement and maybe check it with your student union.
Well, sit down with the other two, mention that your going to move out if things don't get better, try and get them on your side. If that fails, then either don't spend time with them at all or move out.
You can even ask them if they know someone who'd be willing to take your place in the house if you move out.
You can even ask them if they know someone who'd be willing to take your place in the house if you move out.
Reply 13
Give me the bastards phone no. To begin with, I will unscrew his eyes and skull**** him.
To say the least - I feel sorry for you.
Reply 14
Anonymous
hi
but he gets me very drunk. He was literally forcing the alcohol down me. He starts kissing me and then i blank out.
but he gets me very drunk. He was literally forcing the alcohol down me. He starts kissing me and then i blank out.
If true, police. If not, dear me.
Reply 15
Just remember what you are there to do.
You are there to study, get good grades, and secure a good future for yourself.
You are not there to make friends and have fun (that's an optional extra)
Don't be a quitter because someone is nasty to you. Finish what you started!
You are there to study, get good grades, and secure a good future for yourself.
You are not there to make friends and have fun (that's an optional extra)
Don't be a quitter because someone is nasty to you. Finish what you started!
This sounds like bull****.
No one can force alcohol down your throat. Come on, you didn't even get on with the guy.
Secondly, that 'I don't think he penetrated me' comment was the icing on the cake. Totally uncharacteristic of someone who's going through your alledged story.
Sorry if i've caused offence, just my view.
No one can force alcohol down your throat. Come on, you didn't even get on with the guy.
Secondly, that 'I don't think he penetrated me' comment was the icing on the cake. Totally uncharacteristic of someone who's going through your alledged story.
Sorry if i've caused offence, just my view.
Reply 17
Anon1? Move out. Now. Fast.
Preferably with female friends, you know you have some
You can find them. You sound miserable, therefore the sooner the better.
Was in a similar position, but with family (don't get me started with my mother
) and now live with girly mates it's so awesome I can't even describe how much I love returning home now 
Only draw back is lack of money, but then I've been spoiled all my life so it's about time I grew up
Now get moving and don't make excuses, you know you deserve better 
Preferably with female friends, you know you have some
You can find them. You sound miserable, therefore the sooner the better.Was in a similar position, but with family (don't get me started with my mother
) and now live with girly mates it's so awesome I can't even describe how much I love returning home now Only draw back is lack of money, but then I've been spoiled all my life so it's about time I grew up
Now get moving and don't make excuses, you know you deserve better Reply 18
Richy_Boi
This sounds like bull****.
No one can force alcohol down your throat. Come on, you didn't even get on with the guy.
Secondly, that 'I don't think he penetrated me' comment was the icing on the cake. Totally uncharacteristic of someone who's going through your alledged story.
Sorry if i've caused offence, just my view.
No one can force alcohol down your throat. Come on, you didn't even get on with the guy.
Secondly, that 'I don't think he penetrated me' comment was the icing on the cake. Totally uncharacteristic of someone who's going through your alledged story.
Sorry if i've caused offence, just my view.
Must've missed that part, oh well.
Reply 19
Anonymous
No I agree with this too!
Must've missed that part, oh well.
Must've missed that part, oh well.
I really don't understand?
Related discussions
- should i think this?
- college
- do you think this is acceptable as an adult?
- Feel like a loser at home but am dreading going back to uni.
- Looking for housemate in Leamington 2025/26
- Is it really over if I have no social circle and getting 0 matches on dating apps?
- Housemate and relationships
- Cheerleading help
- Bullying because of being bisexual
- Bullying housemates - ignoring me
- Roommate Dilemma
- Was the bullying I faced in high school really unusual and severe?
- Is it common for a girl to walk around in a towel after shower?
- I urgently need to let out my room in shared student accomodation
- Are single-sex schools a thing of the past? Should they be abolished or not?
- everyone thinks im lesbian.
- Looking for a housemate in Leamington
- Warwick/Coventry Tenancy Takeover
- Looking for a housemate Salford M6
- Room available Lincoln student house 2025-2026
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
Can someone please help me tag Artful_lounger, i want to ask him a questionHealth
5
21
Last reply 2 weeks ago
How to get through the year with a teacher that dislikes you?
