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Might regret this, but opinions please?
Hey all
Ok.
i have been seeing this guy for over a year at Uni but he has a girlfriend back home. We get on really well, as in we are actually really good friends as well as sleeping together. We go out all the time and its never awkward or anything, we just have fun. But recently i have started wanting more, where as before the whole just sleeping together when i or we wanted it was great. Plus i think that the only reason they are together is becase they have been for ages, she hardly ever visits and when she does its not ike they go out anywhere together. When ever anyone asks him why they are still together he just avoids talking about it.
So what should i do? Tell him that i want more or just carry on with what is going well?? argh. i know a lot of people will think that he's using me for sex but in all fairness its worked both ways for ages!
Possibly having a mid life crisis tho, i keep thinking i am getting too old for this messing around and need something 'real'?
Ok.
i have been seeing this guy for over a year at Uni but he has a girlfriend back home. We get on really well, as in we are actually really good friends as well as sleeping together. We go out all the time and its never awkward or anything, we just have fun. But recently i have started wanting more, where as before the whole just sleeping together when i or we wanted it was great. Plus i think that the only reason they are together is becase they have been for ages, she hardly ever visits and when she does its not ike they go out anywhere together. When ever anyone asks him why they are still together he just avoids talking about it.
So what should i do? Tell him that i want more or just carry on with what is going well?? argh. i know a lot of people will think that he's using me for sex but in all fairness its worked both ways for ages!
Possibly having a mid life crisis tho, i keep thinking i am getting too old for this messing around and need something 'real'?Reply 1
Many women can't maintain an exclusively sexual relationship without getting attached. Consciously you know he's a consciousless cheater and that you're just his bit on the side, yet you still want to get involved with him.
Use your brain, not your heart. He's scum, forget about him.
Use your brain, not your heart. He's scum, forget about him.
Reply 3
Anonymous
Hey all
Ok.
i have been seeing this guy for over a year at Uni but he has a girlfriend back home. We get on really well, as in we are actually really good friends as well as sleeping together. We go out all the time and its never awkward or anything, we just have fun. But recently i have started wanting more, where as before the whole just sleeping together when i or we wanted it was great. Plus i think that the only reason they are together is becase they have been for ages, she hardly ever visits and when she does its not ike they go out anywhere together. When ever anyone asks him why they are still together he just avoids talking about it.
So what should i do? Tell him that i want more or just carry on with what is going well?? argh. i know a lot of people will think that he's using me for sex but in all fairness its worked both ways for ages! Possibly having a mid life crisis tho, i keep thinking i am getting too old for this messing around and need something 'real'?
Ok.
i have been seeing this guy for over a year at Uni but he has a girlfriend back home. We get on really well, as in we are actually really good friends as well as sleeping together. We go out all the time and its never awkward or anything, we just have fun. But recently i have started wanting more, where as before the whole just sleeping together when i or we wanted it was great. Plus i think that the only reason they are together is becase they have been for ages, she hardly ever visits and when she does its not ike they go out anywhere together. When ever anyone asks him why they are still together he just avoids talking about it.
So what should i do? Tell him that i want more or just carry on with what is going well?? argh. i know a lot of people will think that he's using me for sex but in all fairness its worked both ways for ages!
Possibly having a mid life crisis tho, i keep thinking i am getting too old for this messing around and need something 'real'?He is using you for one thing and basically he is having his cake and eating it while you let him. Whats worse you are developing feelings for him but the chances are he will never leave his girlfriend while you let him walk all over you, spell out to him no sex until he leaves his girlfriend and if he don't dump him.
As Angel says how would it feel that it was you being cheated on.
Reply 4
Would you seriously want to be in a proper relationship with a man who will guiltlessly cheat on his girlfriend for so long?
Think about what it's like for her. What would it be like if he got rid of her, got together with you, and then started boning someone else? Remember that quote "When a man marries his mistress, all he does is create a vacancy".
(Also, it may be wishful thinking on your that they're not getting along well - he might be avoiding talking about it because he doesn't want to bring it up with you around rather than because things with them are crap, and not going out anywhere together when they doesn't mean that they're not enjoying each other's company - in fact, if you haven't seen someone for ages, wouldn't you want to just spend time with them rather than being distracted by a film or a play or whatever?)
My advice for you is get the hell out of there. He's a cheat. And he should come clean with his girlfriend.
Think about what it's like for her. What would it be like if he got rid of her, got together with you, and then started boning someone else? Remember that quote "When a man marries his mistress, all he does is create a vacancy".
(Also, it may be wishful thinking on your that they're not getting along well - he might be avoiding talking about it because he doesn't want to bring it up with you around rather than because things with them are crap, and not going out anywhere together when they doesn't mean that they're not enjoying each other's company - in fact, if you haven't seen someone for ages, wouldn't you want to just spend time with them rather than being distracted by a film or a play or whatever?)
My advice for you is get the hell out of there. He's a cheat. And he should come clean with his girlfriend.
Reply 6
Sounds like he his getting the best of both worlds there! Has a gf back home who he may or may not love (obviously musnt if he cheats on her), and he has a no strings attached relationship with another girl at uni!
You should try and stop it whilst you can! How would you feel if your bf at uni was doing this to you???? If he did dump his gf and started going out with you how do you know he wouldnt cheat?
You should try and stop it whilst you can! How would you feel if your bf at uni was doing this to you???? If he did dump his gf and started going out with you how do you know he wouldnt cheat?
Reply 7
gracie88
How do you think his girlfriend feels? Would you like it if you got with him and he did the exact same thing to you? You have to ask yourself if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend what would stop him from doing it to you?
I feel really sorry for his girlfiend, poor girl! I don't think you would like to be in her position either so i advise you not to go there!
I no most people have said that he is using you but he may not be, he may actually like you.
But it still is strange he has a girlfriend and if this has been going on for a year, you and him have been cheating on his girlfriend for a year!!
Not nice.... think about how you would feel if you found out your boyfrined had been cheating on you for a year!
If your starting to get feeling for him you really should talk to him, it doent sound like him and his girlfriend have much of a relationship so they may be hope for you.
Then on the other hand if he isnt prepared to split up with her for you or doesnt have the same feelings for you then you would know he had been using you. The only way to find ot is to talk to him.
Good luck with everything
But it still is strange he has a girlfriend and if this has been going on for a year, you and him have been cheating on his girlfriend for a year!!
Not nice.... think about how you would feel if you found out your boyfrined had been cheating on you for a year! If your starting to get feeling for him you really should talk to him, it doent sound like him and his girlfriend have much of a relationship so they may be hope for you.
Then on the other hand if he isnt prepared to split up with her for you or doesnt have the same feelings for you then you would know he had been using you. The only way to find ot is to talk to him.
Good luck with everything
Reply 10
Lol'ing at the posters in this thread.
The OP was enjoying this relationship and knew full-well of her partner's girlfriend back at home. It is only at the onset of romantic feelings for this guy that she is reconsidering her position. She is not be used as some of the previous posters have said. (How suprising.)
I suggest that you need to tell your partner about this or break off the relationship, because you will end up getting hurt otherwise.
The OP was enjoying this relationship and knew full-well of her partner's girlfriend back at home. It is only at the onset of romantic feelings for this guy that she is reconsidering her position. She is not be used as some of the previous posters have said. (How suprising.)
I suggest that you need to tell your partner about this or break off the relationship, because you will end up getting hurt otherwise.
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