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The Official Monster Raving Loony Party 2015 election manifesto watch

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    The Official Monster Raving Loony Party, the first to advocate the vote at 16, pet passports, commercial radio and all day pub opening, are seeking ideas via their Twitter feed for the 2015 election 'Manicfesto'.

    I was the author of their policies on Wensleydale Cheese (it should be a protected species [it now has EU protected status]) and on Manchester United supporters (it should be a criminal offence to support Man U if born south of Crewe).

    If you want to offer suggestions, please do. A few of mine:

    Pooh sticks shall be part of the sport National Curriculum in schools as a sport open to all.

    Tourism. We propose that a World Mornington Crescent Championship be held in 2016.

    To recognise the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, alsatian dogs should be renamed French Shepherds or Lorraine.

    There should be a referendum on independence for South London. Taxi drivers eligible to vote.

    End VAT on side orders in fish and chip shops- give peas a chance.

    Law and Order: there should be an inquiry into the Trumpton Riots.
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    Free bus passes for koalas please. The number of times I've had to pay to take my pet koala on the bus just sickens me.
 
 
 
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