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I don't drive. Friend never offers to drive me back after we meet at night. Stingy? watch

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    My friend and I met two years ago on our masters course. We meet up in the day which is great but there's one little thing I can't help but think is just a little mean.

    When we meet up at night, no matter what the weather I have to walk to the train station, wait for the train, then get a bus and then walk up a hill to my house. It's quite a mission. Worth it tho for a good night.

    In in the day it doesn't bother me and I can get just the one train in the day but in the night the service isn't as good. The journey back at night is horrible and involves quite a dark walk some of the way.

    My friend drives and lives in town. She always meets up driving as she doesn't drink. Sometimes when it's cold or rainy I do think she could offer to drive me back (a 25 minute drive but takes an hour on public transport when including the walking time). Not every time we meet but if it's particularly rainy or cold or if I'm really tried. I would pay her for the petrol cost. she never has though.

    I wouldn't ask her to drop me back and offer petrol and I know her well and know if she wanted to drop me back she would offer so don't want her to feel pressurised.

    Am am I being a bit entitled?

    As as a general rule my other friends offer to take me back the full way and I always try and get them to take money although they won't always accept.

    If if you had a mate in my situation would you give them a lift back?
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    I can't understand why you don't just ask?

    Can't see how she's being stingy here.
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    Simple solution: Buy your own car.
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    I actually own a car that was given to me by my childs father and I'm in the process of having driving lessons but can't drive yet.

    I wouldn't ask. Gettingg a lift home is a favour and shouldnt be expect. If I ask I will put her in a difficult position and I know her well enough to know she would say no.
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    they are not your friends =/
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    I'd definitely offer to drive a friend back although I actually hate driving & still haven't passed my test lol. I thought these sorts of things are what friends are for
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    If you've never complained about the journey home then she probably doesn't think it's a big deal to you. It would mean her going out of her way too surely?

    If it was me, and I was driving, I'd suggest you stay at mine overnight then just get the one train home in the morning. Saves me going out of my way and you don't have a long journey home at night.
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    I know from experience that only my close friends will offer me a ride back.
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    If she was a good friend and she knew how long/difficult your journey home is, she should definitely offer a lift sometimes. You shouldn't need to ask. Friends are supposed to be there for you (obviously within reason).
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    It's a 25 minute drive so that means she'd be going 50 mins out of her way. That's a big ask. I definitely wouldn't do that for no petrol money and if she offers she can't really then ask for petrol money. Really if she did do it you should give her a couple of quid on top of petrol for going out of her way for you.

    Some people stop offering after experiencing people taking advantage in the past, could this be the case with her? And what do you give/ do for her to make it so she should give you a lift??

    Maybe it's not even occurred to her that its hard for you to get home. Maybe next time if it's raining, tell her you don't want to come out as you don't want to walk in the rain, this would provide an opportunity for her to offer...
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    If your house is on her way then it's a bit weird if she doesn't offer you a lift. If it's in a different direction to hers then it's understandable that she doesn't ask.
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    Thanks for the replies. She is aware that my journey back is difficult as she has travelled to that area at nvite previously for work and before she had a car.

    It's not even that it's a mission to get back but that its not exactly safe at that time of night to be walking back alone. Not enough money for a taxi either. I might actually start not going out due to the issue with getting back.

    I never even used to think about the fact that she never offered me a lift until my friends started commenting that it was mean and she's a bad friend etc.

    I'm a really good friend to her and do her favours quite a bit.

    Don't get me wrong I don't expect a lift back all the time but just once in a while if it's raining or if I've mentioned in tired.

    I have friends that insist on drivingn me back even if I say is fine I will get the train. They don't want me out on my own at that time and want to know I'm back safe.

    I wouldn't be able to stay at hers as she only rents a room in a house and I have to have a bed to sleep in. I'm Would choose the journey back over a sofa bed lol.
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    (Original post by Mezza362)

    I wouldn't ask. Gettingg a lift home is a favour and shouldnt be expect. If I ask I will put her in a difficult position and I know her well enough to know she would say no.
    I don't understand what you're moaning about then. She's not a mind reader.

    For all she knows, you may have arranged for someone to come and pick you up.
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    Seriously. It's called self sufficiency. If you refuse to drive, you need to figure out your own solutions, and not expect other people to want to drive you (even if you pay for their gas) anywhere because time is important, too. If you have a masters, you can probably pass a driving test.
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    (Original post by Mezza362)
    My friend and I met two years ago on our masters course. We meet up in the day which is great but there's one little thing I can't help but think is just a little mean.

    When we meet up at night, no matter what the weather I have to walk to the train station, wait for the train, then get a bus and then walk up a hill to my house. It's quite a mission. Worth it tho for a good night.

    In in the day it doesn't bother me and I can get just the one train in the day but in the night the service isn't as good. The journey back at night is horrible and involves quite a dark walk some of the way.

    My friend drives and lives in town. She always meets up driving as she doesn't drink. Sometimes when it's cold or rainy I do think she could offer to drive me back (a 25 minute drive but takes an hour on public transport when including the walking time). Not every time we meet but if it's particularly rainy or cold or if I'm really tried. I would pay her for the petrol cost. she never has though.

    I wouldn't ask her to drop me back and offer petrol and I know her well and know if she wanted to drop me back she would offer so don't want her to feel pressurised.

    Am am I being a bit entitled?

    As as a general rule my other friends offer to take me back the full way and I always try and get them to take money although they won't always accept.

    If if you had a mate in my situation would you give them a lift back?
    Damn. I'd always offer my friends a lift home, no matter what. I hate situations like these
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    I'd just ask her and offer to pay for the petrol


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    wow the maths in your question
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    Its 50 minutes out of her way, at night. I'd not offer.
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    Why do you expect a friend to give up 50 minutes of their time to save you an hour? Surely you could have learned to drive if you're doing a masters... :/
 
 
 
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