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Does chivalry still exist? Watch

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    I was just wondering of what some of you think regarding this topic. Does chivalry still exist? Has feminism killed chivalry? Is sexism the root of chivalry? :confused: Or what do you guys think of chivalry in general?

    Personally I think chivalry exists in some places posing as 'good manners', i.e. a man is probably considered a 'gentleman' if he pulls out a ladies chair for her on a date, or holds the door open for her etc. but then again, I think chivalry is less common today because I assume that a man is probably not expected to pay for the first date any more, even if both man and the woman are financially capable?

    What do you guys think??
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    chivalry doesnt exist because women are self entitled, and their self worth is inflated
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    (Original post by FahimaB)
    I was just wondering of what some of you think regarding this topic. Does chivalry still exist? Has feminism killed chivalry? Is sexism the root of chivalry? :confused: Or what do you guys think of chivalry in general?

    Personally I think chivalry exists in some places posing as 'good manners', i.e. a man is probably considered a 'gentleman' if he pulls out a ladies chair for her on a date, or holds the door open for her etc. but then again, I think chivalry is less common today because I assume that a man is probably not expected to pay for the first date any more, even if both man and the woman are financially capable?

    What do you guys think??
    A guy should ALWAYS pay for the first dates and thinking about it ive paid for about 99.9% of all the dates ive been on. Its the done thing...

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    (Original post by elhm1800)
    A guy should ALWAYS pay for the first dates and thinking about it ive paid for about 99.9% of all the dates ive been on. Its the done thing...

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    Nope. A person that asks to go for the date should be the one that pays for it. So if a boy asks the girl on a date, the boys should pay but if the girl asks the guy on a date, the girl should pay.
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    Where I live chivalry is very much still a part of life, though values here tend to be about 20 years behind the rest of the UK

    At school, boys are made to open doors for the girls and we always enter classrooms before boys also. In some ways it's really nice and I find chivalry or just general politeness an attractive feature in a man. However, I don't have unrealistic expectations- I don't mind paying for meals, I don't expect a man to provide for me financially etc.
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    Good manners are.. well, good, but I don't see that they should be gender-specific. Seriously, who on earth would open the door for a woman but not for a man? I hold open the door for whoever is walking behind me, and would expect others to do the same.

    Chivalry, on the other hand - I kinda hope that is dead or at least dying.
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    (Original post by shyaamb)
    Nope. A person that asks to go for the date should be the one that pays for it. So if a boy asks the girl on a date, the boys should pay but if the girl asks the guy on a date, the girl should pay.
    Hmmm it must be as ive always ever asked girls out

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    It's dead.
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    I try to respect both genders equally, for instance I've opened doors for both girls & guys before. I don't particularly like the idea of chivalry as it focuses too much one one gender tbh.
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    yeah it does, it just seems to be a rarity these days. my bf and I will both pay for meals/cinema/trips away etc..but he always puts my coat on for me, opens the door for me..etc. and I love it
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    In different cultures than the west, yes.
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    nope - try and go on a date with a women and suggest splitting the bill evenly. you will never see her again.
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    I hate the idea of chivalry, apparently it was invented by poor people to emulate the social behaviours of the wealthy

    It's disingenuous, literally to the core
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    Smash rage

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    Men are expected to be gentlemen but women are not expected to be ladies. A complex issue, what does that even mean? In young attractive women entitlement issues are rife and they know how to manipulate men using sex while protected by feminism from any outcries against it. Note the whole renunciation of the Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. The book is based off the premise that (quite rightfully) being 'nice' does not entitle you to a relationship, and acts as a metaphor for having to take care of your own needs. Yet it stems deeper than that, in that it's OK for members of one gender to have entitlement issues yet not another. It seems like it is impossible to criticise women who have now taken advantage of a history of ( I agree, undeserved!) oppression. If we are to have equality of opportunities and freedom than that means equal responsibilities as well, to not engage in ****ty behaviours.

    Some examples: LAD culture has been vilified but in contrast the attack on the counterpart 'Ladette' culture, has been vilified. This means objectification of men is a done thing, it's practically glamourised. Objectification of women is an instant red-card for misogyny in this day and age. With the rise of the New Age Sensitive Guy came a media image of the average Joe being a bumbling, directionless oaf who God knows why his attractive, successful, independent wife married in the first place. Jokes about castrating ex-boyfriends can be made on talk shows and protected by online communities such as Jezebel; they would be grounds for dismissal were the genders reversed.

    Another example: the male not being the breadwinner in an reship, or in some way the most emotionally/financially stable, is a deal-breaker for most young women-hence why they seek older men. Yet a guy who actively lets his partner be the breadwinner, gets outcries from men and women alike that he's falling in some of his duties, that she's going to seek someone 'better' soon enough. In this way social stereotypes reinforce the concept of hypergamy (which may be real, I'm yet to decide). The main message here is, the self-fulfilment of man is mandatory, the self-fulfilment of women is praised. Why is this necessary in this day and age, if we are both equal?

    Moreover a brief look at the Relationships forum shows that, except in the most outrageous examples***, the forum is biased to women in its replies (in response to the immature boys and sexist trolls, understandably). For example, a man can be dumped quite quickly for having an 'untoned body' (responses include 'shows he won't even take care of himself'/'lacks ambition'/'not putting any effort into the relationship'). Indeed the responsibility is on the guy to avoid being 'whipped' by his girlfriend into working out for her rather than himself, another deal-breaker. By contrast a guy who made a thread regarding 'untoned body' today (which I do agree IS shallow and superficial!) instantly got 'dump him' 'he's a controller' 'this is abuse'. WTF TSR?

    Another thing: the amount of late teen girls who have tried to justify being shallow or cheating is bewildering ('don't judge me it's not something I can control' 'you can't choose who you're attracted to'/ 'I had unmet needs' 'the relationship was getting boring' 'I was going to Uni and wanted new experiences'?) As if any of these are acceptable excuses for cheating. Now I know some of the guys on here are pricks, dehumanising, controlled by their urges, shallow, disrespectful-but at least they know that according to the principle of chivalry, they would be destroyed for making such threads.

    I have observed this same bias on other communities, Reddit for example (home of the fedoras, I know, not the greatest example). When in doubt, find a way to blame the man for failing to live up to his potential.

    It's actually astounding, are most young people like this in real life? Is the Wall a real thing? I was hoping it was just some disturbed lonely men's delusion but certainly there are some incredible rationalisation behaviours.

    The not-quite death of chivalry is a symptom of the instability and social flux of third wave feminism. Yet more evidence that women can act as men yet straight men cannot act as anything but men in the Western 21st century*-ironically this is all internalised misogyny but is a mostly ignored issue, possibly for the Feminazis to get revenge.** Popular notions of feminism in the West are that adult responsibility is an obligation for men, a choice for women; if all else fails, fall back on chivalry, let the man lead.When we could be helping women being stoned to death under Sharia Law in the East, truly treated as second-class citizens, instead you are doing what you can to get revenge on a generation with many people supporting equality, turning the patriarchy and concept of masculinity against us.


    If I have to act as a gentlemen then I expect you to act 'as a lady', which does not mean my ***** in he kitchen making me a sandwich because I'm not that sort of misogynist. Rather I mean to conduct yourself with enough dignity and self-control to at least not be in a position where you have to make a bloody thread about how you went on the pull because you were bored last Friday night, but now you miss me and somehow it is actually my fault because I didn't go to the gym enough the past few months. And go throw a pity-party that I now don't trust you. Which is what happens on about 10-20% of threads I see on the dating scene here.

    And I repeat the grand irony of this is that chivalry implies women can't look after themselves, so is sexist in itself.

    * I deliberately exclude gay men because they cannot be controlled by women's sexual advances

    **Not all feminists being Feminazis

    ***Remorseless cheating/abuse
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    No, and you can thank feminism for that.
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    Most of chivalry isn't even to do with how men should treat women. The vast majority of the chivalry code is about how a man should be proficient in horseback combat, so yes. Chivalry is dead.
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    I don't like the idea of man-focused chivalry, I prefer good manners. Like I'm a girl and I don't go full feminazi feminist if someone holds the door for me I think it's very nice. However I also expect others to be ok with me holding the door for them, say, if I was going first, not them.
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    (Original post by zippity.doodah)
    nope - try and go on a date with a women and suggest splitting the bill evenly. you will never see her again.
    NAWALT but applies to around 60% of women under 25 and 80% under 21; ergo only around 40% of women over 25 can actually deal with men branching out of their gender role
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    Chivalry is dead, good manners are not.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    Smash rage

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    Men are expected to be gentlemen but women are not expected to be ladies. A complex issue, what does that even mean? In young attractive women entitlement issues are rife and they know how to manipulate men using sex while protected by feminism from any outcries against it. Note the whole renunciation of the Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. The book is based off the premise that (quite rightfully) being 'nice' does not entitle you to a relationship, and acts as a metaphor for having to take care of your own needs. Yet it stems deeper than that, in that it's OK for members of one gender to have entitlement issues yet not another. It seems like it is impossible to criticise women who have now taken advantage of a history of ( I agree, undeserved!) oppression. If we are to have equality of opportunities and freedom than that means equal responsibilities as well, to not engage in ****ty behaviours.

    Some examples: LAD culture has been vilified but in contrast the attack on the counterpart 'Ladette' culture, has been vilified. This means objectification of men is a done thing, it's practically glamourised. Objectification of women is an instant red-card for misogyny in this day and age. With the rise of the New Age Sensitive Guy came a media image of the average Joe being a bumbling, directionless oaf who God knows why his attractive, successful, independent wife married in the first place. Jokes about castrating ex-boyfriends can be made on talk shows and protected by online communities such as Jezebel; they would be grounds for dismissal were the genders reversed.

    Another example: the male not being the breadwinner in an reship, or in some way the most emotionally/financially stable, is a deal-breaker for most young women-hence why they seek older men. Yet a guy who actively lets his partner be the breadwinner, gets outcries from men and women alike that he's falling in some of his duties, that she's going to seek someone 'better' soon enough. In this way social stereotypes reinforce the concept of hypergamy (which may be real, I'm yet to decide). The main message here is, the self-fulfilment of man is mandatory, the self-fulfilment of women is praised. Why is this necessary in this day and age, if we are both equal?

    Moreover a brief look at the Relationships forum shows that, except in the most outrageous examples***, the forum is biased to women in its replies (in response to the immature boys and sexist trolls, understandably). For example, a man can be dumped quite quickly for having an 'untoned body' (responses include 'shows he won't even take care of himself'/'lacks ambition'/'not putting any effort into the relationship'). Indeed the responsibility is on the guy to avoid being 'whipped' by his girlfriend into working out for her rather than himself, another deal-breaker. By contrast a guy who made a thread regarding 'untoned body' today (which I do agree IS shallow and superficial!) instantly got 'dump him' 'he's a controller' 'this is abuse'. WTF TSR?

    Another thing: the amount of late teen girls who have tried to justify being shallow or cheating is bewildering ('don't judge me it's not something I can control' 'you can't choose who you're attracted to'/ 'I had unmet needs' 'the relationship was getting boring' 'I was going to Uni and wanted new experiences'?) As if any of these are acceptable excuses for cheating. Now I know some of the guys on here are pricks, dehumanising, controlled by their urges, shallow, disrespectful-but at least they know that according to the principle of chivalry, they would be destroyed for making such threads.

    I have observed this same bias on other communities, Reddit for example (home of the fedoras, I know, not the greatest example). When in doubt, find a way to blame the man for failing to live up to his potential.

    It's actually astounding, are most young people like this in real life? Is the Wall a real thing? I was hoping it was just some disturbed lonely men's delusion but certainly there are some incredible rationalisation behaviours.

    The not-quite death of chivalry is a symptom of the instability and social flux of third wave feminism. Yet more evidence that women can act as men yet straight men cannot act as anything but men in the Western 21st century*-ironically this is all internalised misogyny but is a mostly ignored issue, possibly for the Feminazis to get revenge.** Popular notions of feminism in the West are that adult responsibility is an obligation for men, a choice for women; if all else fails, fall back on chivalry, let the man lead.When we could be helping women being stoned to death under Sharia Law in the East, truly treated as second-class citizens, instead you are doing what you can to get revenge on a generation with many people supporting equality, turning the patriarchy and concept of masculinity against us.


    If I have to act as a gentlemen then I expect you to act 'as a lady', which does not mean my ***** in he kitchen making me a sandwich because I'm not that sort of misogynist. Rather I mean to conduct yourself with enough dignity and self-control to at least not be in a position where you have to make a bloody thread about how you went on the pull because you were bored last Friday night, but now you miss me and somehow it is actually my fault because I didn't go to the gym enough the past few months. And go throw a pity-party that I now don't trust you. Which is what happens on about 10-20% of threads I see on the dating scene here.

    And I repeat the grand irony of this is that chivalry implies women can't look after themselves, so is sexist in itself.

    * I deliberately exclude gay men because they cannot be controlled by women's sexual advances

    **Not all feminists being Feminazis

    ***Remorseless cheating/abuse
    lol you mad?
 
 
 
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