So my fella and I have been together 6 years since I was 16 and he was 21. And we've never had a perfect sex life. (For me daily is best) him fortnightly. Any way when we first got together he was on off with his x. Finally he ended it with her a while after I found he had been watching porn and I didn't mind but was upset he hid it. We spoke and once or twice actually watched it together.. then a few years on he cheated for a year and I forgave him (young love hay) any way 4 years on were engaged trying for a a baby and seemed ok.. then for Xmas I bought him a tablet. a few days ago I discovered he'd been watching porn while I was at work 6 nights in 2 weeks.. I wouldn't mind but I've always been open about it with him and he's always refusing sex as to "tired" or "not well" or "hurt himself at work". I tried discussing it but he said "better that then I cheat" I don't know what to do I'm heartbroken any help! I must add we live together with only our dogs so we should be daily at "it"...
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why hide it (porn) watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-01-2015 06:27
- 10-01-2015 15:08
It could be simply a porn addiction, which can be very damaging psychologically and physically. Do you ever talk about fantasies and expectations in the bedroom? It could be that his idea of sex has been so drastically warped by the images he's consuming that he can no longer associate you with that kind of pleasure.
Definitely communication is important here. If he's not into talking about it verbally, it might be worth taking a little time apart and emailing each other. Emails have the benefit of being able to carefully consider what you want to say and how to say it - as well as extra time to digest what the other person is telling you. If he's not willing to communicate after you've stressed how important this is to you, there may not be much else you can do, but cross that when you come to it!
Oh, and definitely allow for the possibility that there could be much deeper problems with the relationship that lack of sex may be a symptom of. But you'll find out by asking!