Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have always been a very social, popular person who is used to having a lot of friends but all thats changed. After secondary school I lost contact with all my best friends because we all went to different sixth forms. I made new friends at my sixth form but many of them left after the first year. We are now in A2 and I thought I had 5 good friends but they've all deserted me.
    Friend 1 and 2 found a new group of popular girls who they prefer to hang around with. I've had to walk past this whole group alone whilst they stare at me.
    Friend 3 left sixth form last year and has made no attempts to contact me. Its always me initiating coversation with her.
    Friend 4 (I have done so much for this girl, I introduced her to all of my friends last year because she knew no one and was socially awkward)- she has left me for another girl. Its so awkward because they'll be talking but when I approach them they'll cut the conversation so I feel as if I'm third wheeeling.
    Friend 5 will always talk to me about how amazing his other friends are. He also told me a list of his best friends and I wasn't on that list. Also he is now closer to friend 4 even though I introduced them.
    I have never been in this situation before. I have been feeling so down about the situation that my grades have fallen to E's and U's. I can't make any new friends in sixth form because the friendship groups have already been established. So should I adopt a **** them mentality for the remaining 5 months, focus on my grades and make friends at work/uni? Or should I try to be more social in sixth form?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You're not there to make friends, you dont need them you're better off. Focus on your education and the career path you want to go in.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have always been a very social, popular person who is used to having a lot of friends but all thats changed. After secondary school I lost contact with all my best friends because we all went to different sixth forms. I made new friends at my sixth form but many of them left after the first year. We are now in A2 and I thought I had 5 good friends but they've all deserted me.
    Friend 1 and 2 found a new group of popular girls who they prefer to hang around with. I've had to walk past this whole group alone whilst they stare at me.
    Friend 3 left sixth form last year and has made no attempts to contact me. Its always me initiating coversation with her.
    Friend 4 (I have done so much for this girl, I introduced her to all of my friends last year because she knew no one and was socially awkward)- she has left me for another girl. Its so awkward because they'll be talking but when I approach them they'll cut the conversation so I feel as if I'm third wheeeling.
    Friend 5 will always talk to me about how amazing his other friends are. He also told me a list of his best friends and I wasn't on that list. Also he is now closer to friend 4 even though I introduced them.
    I have never been in this situation before. I have been feeling so down about the situation that my grades have fallen to E's and U's. I can't make any new friends in sixth form because the friendship groups have already been established. So should I adopt a **** them mentality for the remaining 5 months, focus on my grades and make friends at work/uni? Or should I try to be more social in sixth form?
    Could you try to re-establish contact with your friends from Secondary School perhaps, ideally for the summer, if you don't feel like interacting with those in Sixth Form? It'll at least give you some social security if successful.

    Friends come and go, it's a fact in life and don't be disheartened by how little attention people (who are naturally selfish) give you compared to what you do for them. I've experienced that before and it hurts, but don't complain and be humble and classy. The popular ones (Friend 1 & 2) will soon be unpopular and scared come Uni and the real world where they'll have to start again socially (it's why everyone at Uni is known to be "on the same boat") Keep your head up by walking away when you feel you've done everything you can (applies to Friend 3), fixing a time with them for long conversations/catchups (applies to Friend 4 and maybe 5) after some small talk with them - and just them alone - so that the socially awkward are more secure and won't feel alone at times, that you're thinking of them.

    It's never too late to be social but bare in mind you must put your education above that, work more closely with your colleagues maybe for the exam run-in to keep yourself occupied, you can't let those Es and Us be as a result of those "selfish" people. Think of yourself and be "selfish" yourself (but don't forget your roots) A-Levels are demanding and are actually more stressful than the first year of Uni arguably so yeah. With your social-friendly, open attitude and better grades, a better time at Uni awaits you in abundance.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have always been a very social, popular person who is used to having a lot of friends but all thats changed. After secondary school I lost contact with all my best friends because we all went to different sixth forms. I made new friends at my sixth form but many of them left after the first year. We are now in A2 and I thought I had 5 good friends but they've all deserted me.
    Friend 1 and 2 found a new group of popular girls who they prefer to hang around with. I've had to walk past this whole group alone whilst they stare at me.
    Friend 3 left sixth form last year and has made no attempts to contact me. Its always me initiating coversation with her.
    Friend 4 (I have done so much for this girl, I introduced her to all of my friends last year because she knew no one and was socially awkward)- she has left me for another girl. Its so awkward because they'll be talking but when I approach them they'll cut the conversation so I feel as if I'm third wheeeling.
    Friend 5 will always talk to me about how amazing his other friends are. He also told me a list of his best friends and I wasn't on that list. Also he is now closer to friend 4 even though I introduced them.
    I have never been in this situation before. I have been feeling so down about the situation that my grades have fallen to E's and U's. I can't make any new friends in sixth form because the friendship groups have already been established. So should I adopt a **** them mentality for the remaining 5 months, focus on my grades and make friends at work/uni? Or should I try to be more social in sixth form?
    That sucks. My first impression was 1 & 2, mean girls, do you really want people like that in your life?
    Friends 4 & 5, casual buddies?
    Friend 3. My best friend is like this, and when I say best friend, I mean like my sister. I've been abroad, to festivals and pretty much everywhere else with her. She helped to get my first tattoo, she comes to family functions with me. Literally, my sister. She never, ever rings me. I'm simply the person who initiates contact, every day. Maybe with you, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to know, is it just your dynamic? Some people are just weird that way.

    Either way, whatever happens, your grades are way more important. Get them off the ground, then try fixing other stuff. Pick up something you can do on your own, like art or music. I leant an instrument when my friends abandoned me.
    Try not to feel animosity toward them, they were your friends at one point, even if they're horrible now. Just try and move on with your life.
    • #2
    #2

    The people you know now will not be those you consider as 'best friends' in a few years from now.

    After college, people go off to university / start work / get married, have kids etc. your lives completely change.

    That's not to say you won't stay in touch with people you meet now, and form strong friendships etc. but for now, focus on your studies. You'll meet people later who really will be your true friends.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AnnoyedAnonymous)
    You're not there to make friends, you dont need them you're better off. Focus on your education and the career path you want to go in.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Nail'd it, boo. :cool:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 13, 2015
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.