how to stop being the helper all the time.

don't you hate it when a lot of people ask you for help? I feel bad if i don't help, so most people come to me to for help now, because i try helping people with their work, but now i think thet're taking advantage of me especially one of my close friends she always wants to check her answers with mine and if they're different or she can't do hers wants me to explain to her how i got my answer to every detail, and its very annoying now, because i have my own work to get on with, and sometimes im actualy to tired etc, but i dont know how to say no. How to i tell her she has to do the work herself now...and if she's stuck majorly on a question she should go see her tutor or something?
I feel bad, today i told one of them, im not talking and im getting on with my work, i was really annoyed then, so i said it in a nasty way, :frown:

I just feel really guilty if i don't help, because i know if i was in their situation i wold be very grateful for any help.

Reply 1

Gem

Maybe helping people is just in your nature. That said, if it's affecting your work then maybe your mates have to put more effort in themselves and not just rely on you to teach them everything. Suggest they go to your tutor, maybe eve offer to go with them the first time so they're not so scared?

I used to help my mates all the time at Uni, they'd help me if I needed it. I liked helping though, it might have even helped me understand the work better. I guess you should just talk to them?

Reply 2

Ywiss

You sound like a nice person :smile:

All the same, I can see that it can be annoying for you if people constantly want you to explain stuff to them. Just remember, they can't make you explain. Just be really vague and annoying; e.g. if your friend says, "How did you get that answer? Mine's different", etc, just say, "Oh, I don't know really - just did some stuff. It's probably wrong, you know."

Good luck - and try not to have a hissy-fight about it if you can possibly avoid it; I know it's irritating, but it's not life-threatening :biggrin:

xxx

Reply 3

sidi

This is so annoying. Try saying you've done the work so now you want to forget about it and chill.

Reply 4

generalebriety

Anonymous

don't you hate it when a lot of people ask you for help?

No, not at all. I hate it when people ask me if they can copy my work - I love the chance to be able to help someone genuinely with their studies.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

but they havn't a sodding clue, and ye i like helping people, but when theres 6-7 of them, asking about the same thing, at different times so i have to repeat myself, and they havn't a clue about what to do, i always seem to end up with that kind of group to hang out with somehow, maybe because once i help them once they don't go away.

Reply 6

M j R

The worst thing about helping people with work is ending up in an interview room being told that your work is similar to this persons, I helped a lot of people last year if I didn't some of them wouldn't of made it though to the second year.

Reply 7

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

I tend to be very very vocal in class discussions and often have a lot of lucid and pertinent points to make, and as a result I have many people asking me if I want to work with them for group presentations and so on (as well as helping them with other work) but I prefer to be assertive and politely say no, I have my own stuff to be getting on with.

Reply 8

hannah_dru

I usually get people asking for advice, to copy work, or "borrow" work. I just say no, because I know that usually these kinds of people don't do anything to help me out.