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Does this sound rapey? watch

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    So I used to go to the library a lot with a course mate. I didn't think that he was attracted to me but I guess he is. I was hanging with my friends and had been for a full day. He messaged me on fb asking me where I was and who I was with. I lied and said I was with my bf. He then said I should know him and went on a tangent. He then said that's disappointing. We were waiting for you to turn 18 before we could give you the D. Ok that scared me a bit I showed my friends and they said that I should report him. I think it's a bit extreme. My problem is who is "we"? I'm aware a few guys on my course may like me but they're way older than me and I just find it kind of creepy. Am I over thinking?
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    I think he was joking...not rapey to me.
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    He's joking but it's a bit cheap and nasty so just ignore it for now. Only like if he starts relentlessly messaging with weird stuff, should you think about saying something to someone from the course
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    What the hell? How..inappropriate and degrading. I wouldn't like that at all.
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    Definitely inappropriate, it is a bit rapey but I doubt he's being serious - some teenage-ish boys are incredibly immature and gross like that. You should tell him that that was a pretty horrible thing to say, but like others have said, if he does it again then you have a right to feel a lot more concerned.
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    (Original post by suirrel)
    Definitely inappropriate, it is a bit rapey but I doubt he's being serious - some teenage-ish boys are incredibly immature and gross like that. You should tell him that that was a pretty horrible thing to say, but like others have said, if he does it again then you have a right to feel a lot more concerned.
    I didn't lead him on or anything. I was just being my normal friendly self but I did notice he became a bit clingy. He's 26 and we're at university so he should know better.
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    Lol don't report him but make it clear that what he said was inappropriate. He might have been trying to play it off cool and sent a retarded message to seem nonchalant.

    MissLalaxx, wu tang clan aint nothing to **** wit.
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    He's probably jealous that you said you have a bf lol
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    (Original post by MissLalaxx)
    I didn't lead him on or anything. I was just being my normal friendly self but I did notice he became a bit clingy. He's 26 and we're at university so he should know better.
    (LOL @ "leading on" - there's no such thing, I hate when guys say that a girl being friendly to them = flirting)

    Wow, 26?? What a creepster. I thought he was 18-19. I repeat: what a creepster. Don't let him put you into any uncomfortable situations, at 26 he should have grown out of the awkward sexual harassment phase that some 17 year old boys go through.
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    I don't have a boyfriend though. He kept pestering me and asking me who he was and what course is he on. I haven't spoken to him since so hopefully he's taken the hint.
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    Social faux pas and that hey?
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    (Original post by MissLalaxx)
    So I used to go to the library a lot with a course mate. I didn't think that he was attracted to me but I guess he is. I was hanging with my friends and had been for a full day. He messaged me on fb asking me where I was and who I was with. I lied and said I was with my bf. He then said I should know him and went on a tangent. He then said that's disappointing. We were waiting for you to turn 18 before we could give you the D. Ok that scared me a bit I showed my friends and they said that I should report him. I think it's a bit extreme. My problem is who is "we"? I'm aware a few guys on my course may like me but they're way older than me and I just find it kind of creepy. Am I over thinking?
    Ask "Who is 'we'?"

    I guarantee you, his response will tell you everything you need to know about whether and to what degree he is a creep/weirdo/raper
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    (Original post by MissLalaxx)
    I don't have a boyfriend though. He kept pestering me and asking me who he was and what course is he on. I haven't spoken to him since so hopefully he's taken the hint.
    Oh cool, in that case definitely ignore. If he does start to harass you again, you probably should report him.

    I know it might sound extreme, but all the evidence suggests that in stalking cases, it tends to become worse when the victim ignores it hoping it will go away.

    If he does get in contact with you again, be firm; say "I don't want you to contact me any further, if you contact me again I will call the police. They will be able to track your IP address and you are liable to be charged with harassment."

    He'll move on to someone else
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    (Original post by suirrel)
    (LOL @ "leading on" - there's no such thing, I hate when guys say that a girl being friendly to them = flirting)
    'There's no such thing'

    Grow up. Some girls do lead men on, and know full well what they're doing. It's not some magical phenomenon whereby all men assume all friendly girls are flirting. Stick to speaking for yourself.
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    Is that Ched Evans?
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    I'm scared now. I noticed that he has a mean streak to him as well. My best way to deal with the situation is to ignore him and if that doesn't work I'll take further action. My main problem is who is we. Is there a group of them planning to corner me somehow and rape me? I'm not going to ask him as it's weird. Why do they have to wait til I'm 18 anyway? What difference does it make? If there is a group of them, I know who they are. I actually deleted all his messages and have no proof. ffs :mad:
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    (Original post by Surrey Bubble15)
    Is that Ched Evans?
    haha no
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    (Original post by Friar Chris)
    'There's no such thing'

    Grow up. Some girls do lead men on, and know full well what they're doing. It's not some magical phenomenon whereby all men assume all friendly girls are flirting. Stick to speaking for yourself.
    "Grow up"?

    You're the one who's assuming that just because someone is being friendly and nice to you, that they want to get jiggy or go out with you. It's pretty immature to not be able to handle a girl being friendly without thinking she wants to go out with you.
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    (Original post by suirrel)
    "Grow up"?

    You're the one who's assuming that just because someone is being friendly and nice to you, that they want to get jiggy or go out with you. It's pretty immature to not be able to handle a girl being friendly without thinking she wants to go out with you.
    You're attacking a straw-man.
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    (Original post by MissLalaxx)
    I'm scared now. I noticed that he has a mean streak to him as well. My best way to deal with the situation is to ignore him and if that doesn't work I'll take further action. My main problem is who is we. Is there a group of them planning to corner me somehow and rape me? I'm not going to ask him as it's weird. Why do they have to wait til I'm 18 anyway? What difference does it make? If there is a group of them, I know who they are. I actually deleted all his messages and have no proof. ffs :mad:
    This sounds pretty serious. I think you should tell your boyfriend and maybe even your parents. It's better to be safe and trust your gut instinct that he's not safe, than to put yourself in a bad situation because you don't want to hurt his feelings or make a fuss or something.

    I'm sure he wouldn't do such an awful thing but then again I like to think that people have other peoples' best interests at heart. If you are afraid, you should stick to going around in groups etc around town/school. If you get some more proof of him threatening you then you could even contact the police and tell them you are scared (although it might be best to find a female police officer to make sure they take you seriously).

    Try not to work yourself up about it, take necessary precautions but don't get too upset - keep going to college, work, the library, etc, even without him.
 
 
 
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