My parents force me to go to church

I cannot take it anymore.

I was born and raised as a Catholic but I never felt comfortable with my religion. I was raised to believe that not being a Catholic would be the death of me so anything that made me question my religion made me feel unsafe. However, as I grew older, I started to question even more and realised that the religion I was brought up in definitely wasn't for me.

My parents are hypocritical Christians: they act as if they follow the religion perfectly and that they are above everyone else for going to Mass regularly and for being Catholics but are in fact the complete opposite.

They force me to go to mass with them, and whenever I protest, they start to say things like "You have the devil within" and "you have no morality" and "you're arrogant and self-centred" and I can't take it anymore. I'm also gay, so I can't possibly imagine what it would be like if I had to come out to them.

How can I tell them that I no longer feel a part of their religion and how can I make them stop forcing me to go to Church? Everyone used to tell me to wait till when I was 18. I'm almost 19 now and nothing has changed. It feels like I have to constantly meet their expectations of me instead of being myself. It happens every other Sunday and the more I protest, the more they insist.

Why is it so hard for them to understand that people have different beliefs to theirs? And that not everybody wants to be a Catholic?

Reply 1

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Hi,

I'm really sorry your parents are forcing you in this manner to attend Catholic Mass. That's not right or how it should be at all :no:

I take it from your post that you haven't moved away for university and that you still live with them? That must make it incredibly difficult. I don't know what to suggest if you are still living with them :frown:

You have my sincere sympathies though. I always think it's wrong when parents try to control to this extent :frown:

Reply 2

mackemforever

So I'm assuming that you still live at home?

Two options really:

1) Be honest with them, tell them that you're not religious, put your foot down, and no matter what they say or do you refuse to go to church any more.
2) Accept that while you live under their roof you're going to have to put up with it and continue to go. It's not like you have to believe any of the tripe being said there, you simply have to tolerate it for a couple of hours a week.

Neither option is great, but the second one to me is the lesser of two evils.

Reply 3

Veggiechic6

You're an adult, they can't make you do anything. If they cause a big fuss or try to make you leave home over it, remind them that as Christians, they are supposed to love and accept unconditionally, certainly their son.

Reply 4

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Whenever my whole family at home, my dad makes us all go to church, including me (I'm 23). Well, I wouldn't say he 'forces' us as such, but nobody dares to protest as he's African. But I don't live at home most of the time anymore, so when I'm away I don't normally bother with church myself.

So I dunno, if it's that difficult protesting with your parents about going to church, then maybe you'll just have to put up with it until you move out like I do? It may be a bit boring, but it's only about 1 or 2 hours on a Sunday after all.

Reply 5

Juichiro

Original post by Anonymous

Wait till you go to uni. You still depend on them financially.

Just go to church

Head out for a coffee, stroll or cycle before they set off for Church. Leave them a note or tell them if you want but just show them whose boss and head off.