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    Hi,

    I have recently began to commit to my weight gain recovery in anorexia, starting out as underweight and eating around 700cals per day for over a year.

    Lately I have been craving everything! I am still to scared to have home cooked meals, but for some reason I have been managing to allow myself to eat junk food everyday. This junk food consists of pizza, fish and chips ect. I have also been having major sugar cravings too and most days have not been able to resist eating a lot of sweets. Is this wrong?

    Due to all this eating, I have been gaining 1lbs per day!!!!! This is freaking me out, because I don't know if this is fat gain or water gain? Is this normal? Also, will I keep increasing at this rate, because now my BMI says I am at a healthy weight!

    I am working with the NHS, but they haven't really given me an idea of what to physically expect...
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    I don't have any answers for you, but just wanted to say congratulations on your recovery so far!

    Perhaps you could ask to be referred to a nutritionist on the NHS, if you're not seeing one already?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Perhaps you could ask to be referred to a nutritionist on the NHS, if you're not seeing one already?
    Thanks for the reply, I have an appointment with one in two weeks, but thats really too far away
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    it's really not unusual to eat a lot of junk/sugar especially in the early stages of refeeding, remember you've been denying your body all these things for a long time... there's no 'right answer' for recovery, I would say that if home cooked meals are scary you need to start eating them... as for your weight, you need to be eating a decent number of calories regardless of whether you have a 'healthy' BMI, a minimum healthy BMI might not be right for you, you may be carrying water weight etc and often people's weight will rise above their set point while they refeed and then drop again when their body is more settled

    as long as you are not binging I wouldn't worry - and by binging I mean eating way past the point of fullness in a manner which is totally out of control and you couldn't choose to stop...

    and if you are binging it will not do much damage over 2 weeks so have a chat with your dietician about it
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    it's really not unusual to eat a lot of junk/sugar especially in the early stages of refeeding, remember you've been denying your body all these things for a long time... there's no 'right answer' for recovery, I would say that if home cooked meals are scary you need to start eating them... as for your weight, you need to be eating a decent number of calories regardless of whether you have a 'healthy' BMI, a minimum healthy BMI might not be right for you, you may be carrying water weight etc and often people's weight will rise above their set point while they refeed and then drop again when their body is more settled

    as long as you are not binging I wouldn't worry - and by binging I mean eating way past the point of fullness in a manner which is totally out of control and you couldn't choose to stop...

    and if you are binging it will not do much damage over 2 weeks so have a chat with your dietician about it
    Thank you very much for the reply! It has been really helpful and has really helped put my mind to rest. I'm glad you bought up binging, as that was something I worried about, but seeing your definition I think I'm okay. I haven't been eating to the point of sickness and I have been able to stop when my body feels that it's had enough.

    The thing about water weight and the initial weight gain being possibly temporary, is great to hear. I think part of that may be true for me, as my abdomen seems to have swelled up.

    Thanks again!
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    Hi, I recovered from anorexia in 2012 and had to gain about 30lbs to get to a healthy weight.

    Like you, I was really unsure how I would be affected with the weight gain, and it was a huge source of anxiety for me. After all, I had deprived my body of nutrients for so long, I was scared my body was going to rebel against me and horde weight to the extreme.

    The first month of recovery was the hardest. I gained 1 lb every day or two, and the weight jumped on. I was convinced that it was noticeable, but my friends and family all said they couldn't tell - and when I look back at photos, the weight gain was not that noticeable - I just began to look healthier in my face. I have read lots about this, and can conclude that a lot of the weight you put on so fast is water weight, especially if you have been using laxatives or drinking less as a means of weight control. Your body is replenishing its water supply, which leads to a better cognitive and body functioning. Also, your body has been in starvation mode for so long, it's using everything you're putting in to replace your energy stores and your muscles, which is why you crave sugar.

    After the first month, my weight gain began to slow down and even out. It gained maybe 0.5lb a week until my body automatically found its 'healthy point' at which the weight gain stopped completely (around BMI 20-21 - but this varies). Lots of people still told me I was skinny, but just a healthy skinny instead of sickly skinny. After three months, I was weight restored so I would use this time frame and accommodate it towards how much weight you have to gain.

    I understand how you feel, I was scared I was going to balloon and the weight gain was never going to end, but there is where the strength in recovery comes from, to give up control and trust it to your body to repair the damage and sort itself out, essentially. I wish you the very best of luck in your recovery, don't give up - it's worth it It's re-gaining control of your life and you'll notice so many benefits - even in photographs, you'll look happier.

    x
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    (Original post by starkbe)
    Hi, I recovered from anorexia in 2012 and had to gain about 30lbs to get to a healthy weight.

    Like you, I was really unsure how I would be affected with the weight gain, and it was a huge source of anxiety for me. After all, I had deprived my body of nutrients for so long, I was scared my body was going to rebel against me and horde weight to the extreme.

    The first month of recovery was the hardest. I gained 1 lb every day or two, and the weight jumped on. I was convinced that it was noticeable, but my friends and family all said they couldn't tell - and when I look back at photos, the weight gain was not that noticeable - I just began to look healthier in my face. I have read lots about this, and can conclude that a lot of the weight you put on so fast is water weight, especially if you have been using laxatives or drinking less as a means of weight control. Your body is replenishing its water supply, which leads to a better cognitive and body functioning. Also, your body has been in starvation mode for so long, it's using everything you're putting in to replace your energy stores and your muscles, which is why you crave sugar.

    After the first month, my weight gain began to slow down and even out. It gained maybe 0.5lb a week until my body automatically found its 'healthy point' at which the weight gain stopped completely (around BMI 20-21 - but this varies). Lots of people still told me I was skinny, but just a healthy skinny instead of sickly skinny. After three months, I was weight restored so I would use this time frame and accommodate it towards how much weight you have to gain.

    I understand how you feel, I was scared I was going to balloon and the weight gain was never going to end, but there is where the strength in recovery comes from, to give up control and trust it to your body to repair the damage and sort itself out, essentially. I wish you the very best of luck in your recovery, don't give up - it's worth it It's re-gaining control of your life and you'll notice so many benefits - even in photographs, you'll look happier.

    x
    Thank you for the reply! It's great to hear that someone has experienced what I am experiencing. I can completely relate to the fear of ballooning and it is very frustrating to see my weight creeping up so fast.

    It's still very hard to be craving sugar every day and eating so unhealthy, but it's all I'm craving! I don't know whether to stop, because at the moment I am eating loads of sweets everyday and a junk food meal. I just feel so piggy and fat, plus my weight is shooting up!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for the reply! It's great to hear that someone has experienced what I am experiencing. I can completely relate to the fear of ballooning and it is very frustrating to see my weight creeping up so fast.

    It's still very hard to be craving sugar every day and eating so unhealthy, but it's all I'm craving! I don't know whether to stop, because at the moment I am eating loads of sweets everyday and a junk food meal. I just feel so piggy and fat, plus my weight is shooting up!
    Don't stop.

    You have to put it into perspective - if you were only eating 700 cals before then what you're eating now is going to seem like so much it's overwhelming, but that's something you will get used to.

    Your sugar cravings will curb once your blood sugar is consistent. Think about it, when you starve you're surviving on low blood sugar, and now when you're eating properly your blood sugar doesn't know what the heck it's doing and it needs some time to adjust. Just don't stop.

    Also, you will bloat at the beginning of the recovery - that's because your body is being overwhelmed with water from both liquid and food after being deprived for so long. This freaked me out like hell at the start, but it's only temporary and will only last a week or so. That may be contributing to some weight gain and also to the negative feelings you are having. If you think about it, you aren't used to being full so it will feel weird - but you will start to like it.

    I know how hard and frustrating it is to keep fighting these battles with yourself, along with the anxiety of the 'what if I gain too much' conundrum, but you've already made it past the first, and major hurdle of choosing to get your life back. Things aren't going to change overnight, it's like digging your way out of this year long hell hole that's been built around you, but stick at it. Listen to the part of you that's wanting recovery from this thing, it's your friend.

    x
    • #1
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    (Original post by starkbe)
    Don't stop.

    You have to put it into perspective - if you were only eating 700 cals before then what you're eating now is going to seem like so much it's overwhelming, but that's something you will get used to.

    Your sugar cravings will curb once your blood sugar is consistent. Think about it, when you starve you're surviving on low blood sugar, and now when you're eating properly your blood sugar doesn't know what the heck it's doing and it needs some time to adjust. Just don't stop.

    Also, you will bloat at the beginning of the recovery - that's because your body is being overwhelmed with water from both liquid and food after being deprived for so long. This freaked me out like hell at the start, but it's only temporary and will only last a week or so. That may be contributing to some weight gain and also to the negative feelings you are having. If you think about it, you aren't used to being full so it will feel weird - but you will start to like it.

    I know how hard and frustrating it is to keep fighting these battles with yourself, along with the anxiety of the 'what if I gain too much' conundrum, but you've already made it past the first, and major hurdle of choosing to get your life back. Things aren't going to change overnight, it's like digging your way out of this year long hell hole that's been built around you, but stick at it. Listen to the part of you that's wanting recovery from this thing, it's your friend.

    x
    Thank you for your support! I guess that's true and I need to get back to eating 'normal amounts'. I suppose that's true about blood sugar, hopefully it will stabilise soon as I don't want to develop an addiction!

    Thanks for mentioning the bloating. I have really been struggling with my 'Buddha Belly' as it has been very stressful and uncomfortable.

    The 'What is I gain too much conundrum' has literally just summed up my biggest fears! I really don't want to gain too much as I used to be overweight and I don't want to end up back at the other end of the scale! I suppose your right and I will just have to preserve and fight through this to reach the other side.

    If you don't mind me asking, did you get strong cravings and if so, how long did it take for your body to stop desperately craving these foods? It just seems like I am never going to want to eat fruit and vegetables again, when before anorexia I loved them! Now my mind is only focused on junk food and sweets!

    Thanks again, you have been a remarkable help!
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    (Original post by starkbe)
    x
    'You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today' - quote me tomorrow and I'll rep you. Very informative and heartfelt posts! :five:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for your support! I guess that's true and I need to get back to eating 'normal amounts'. I suppose that's true about blood sugar, hopefully it will stabilise soon as I don't want to develop an addiction!

    Thanks for mentioning the bloating. I have really been struggling with my 'Buddha Belly' as it has been very stressful and uncomfortable.

    The 'What is I gain too much conundrum' has literally just summed up my biggest fears! I really don't want to gain too much as I used to be overweight and I don't want to end up back at the other end of the scale! I suppose your right and I will just have to preserve and fight through this to reach the other side.

    If you don't mind me asking, did you get strong cravings and if so, how long did it take for your body to stop desperately craving these foods? It just seems like I am never going to want to eat fruit and vegetables again, when before anorexia I loved them! Now my mind is only focused on junk food and sweets!

    Thanks again, you have been a remarkable help!
    Actually, I too had cravings for all things sweet, sugar and junk too! I guess when your body is denied it for too long, it goes into over drive with excitement at the taste it thought it had forgotten!

    I didn't deny myself anything sweet if I felt like it, because that is giving in to the desire for control you need to let go of in order to recover, but I did try and offset it with fruit like grapes, bananas and sweet apples until my taste buds were regulated once more. I also tried to incorporate it into socialising with friends, for example if you fancy some McDonalds or whatever, I found it easier to go with other people to remind myself that everyone craves this stuff, and it doesn't hurt to let go and go crazy every once in a while. I think it's more about the confidence aspect, as when you're experiencing really bad cravings you naturally don't feel confident in your ability to balance a healthy diet, and are more inclined to feel that it focuses too much on the bad stuff, like the feelings you have described.

    Finding that balance is part of the recovery process. Your mind is going to want to trick you with the 'you'll end up overweight again' and 'look how much crap you're eating' cards, it's about recognising, and then overcoming those feelings and replacing them with 'i will end up at a healthy weight' and 'i'm just not used to incorporating these foods into my diet, i am eating moderately and healthily'. The first thoughts are based on perception alone, which can be distorted, and the second are based on certainty, and the science behind weight restoration. Ask yourself which is the most reliable. You need to remind yourself that you are no exception to the recovery process - you won't be the one person who recovers and their body bypasses their healthy weight medium altogether, and you just end up expanding until you explode!

    As for your unwillingness to eat veg, your body is probably just sick of them for now - after all, you've been using them to punish yourself. Just give your body some time to live a little, pick all the food on the menu you've always been scared to try and don't look up the calories, just reward your body with the food it wants to enjoy.

    I really wish you the best of luck. It's not going to be easy, but you'll come through it a much stronger person in your ability to banish all those little comfort zones eating disorders thrive in, and step into true happiness that is not based on numbers on a scale.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I have recently began to commit to my weight gain recovery in anorexia, starting out as underweight and eating around 700cals per day for over a year.

    Lately I have been craving everything! I am still to scared to have home cooked meals, but for some reason I have been managing to allow myself to eat junk food everyday. This junk food consists of pizza, fish and chips ect. I have also been having major sugar cravings too and most days have not been able to resist eating a lot of sweets. Is this wrong?

    Due to all this eating, I have been gaining 1lbs per day!!!!! This is freaking me out, because I don't know if this is fat gain or water gain? Is this normal? Also, will I keep increasing at this rate, because now my BMI says I am at a healthy weight!

    I am working with the NHS, but they haven't really given me an idea of what to physically expect...
    As someone who was in hospital and suffered from this a couple of years ago, I'd be happy to give you some advice/information from an ex-sufferers perspective If you want to talk/ask any questions just message me

    Good luck with you're recovery, its so worth it
    • #1
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    (Original post by starkbe)
    Actually, I too had cravings for all things sweet, sugar and junk too! I guess when your body is denied it for too long, it goes into over drive with excitement at the taste it thought it had forgotten!

    I didn't deny myself anything sweet if I felt like it, because that is giving in to the desire for control you need to let go of in order to recover, but I did try and offset it with fruit like grapes, bananas and sweet apples until my taste buds were regulated once more. I also tried to incorporate it into socialising with friends, for example if you fancy some McDonalds or whatever, I found it easier to go with other people to remind myself that everyone craves this stuff, and it doesn't hurt to let go and go crazy every once in a while. I think it's more about the confidence aspect, as when you're experiencing really bad cravings you naturally don't feel confident in your ability to balance a healthy diet, and are more inclined to feel that it focuses too much on the bad stuff, like the feelings you have described.

    Finding that balance is part of the recovery process. Your mind is going to want to trick you with the 'you'll end up overweight again' and 'look how much crap you're eating' cards, it's about recognising, and then overcoming those feelings and replacing them with 'i will end up at a healthy weight' and 'i'm just not used to incorporating these foods into my diet, i am eating moderately and healthily'. The first thoughts are based on perception alone, which can be distorted, and the second are based on certainty, and the science behind weight restoration. Ask yourself which is the most reliable. You need to remind yourself that you are no exception to the recovery process - you won't be the one person who recovers and their body bypasses their healthy weight medium altogether, and you just end up expanding until you explode!

    As for your unwillingness to eat veg, your body is probably just sick of them for now - after all, you've been using them to punish yourself. Just give your body some time to live a little, pick all the food on the menu you've always been scared to try and don't look up the calories, just reward your body with the food it wants to enjoy.

    I really wish you the best of luck. It's not going to be easy, but you'll come through it a much stronger person in your ability to banish all those little comfort zones eating disorders thrive in, and step into true happiness that is not based on numbers on a scale.
    Thanks for replying again! I understand what you mean about seeing other people eating the same unhealthy food being a relief. I have definitely noticed that it does help, so I will try to keep that in mind!

    I suppose you are right in saying that I'm not going to bypass the healthy weight range and go straight to being overweight. Yeah, maybe I should just give into my body's cravings and allow it what it wants for a while, regardless of how it makes me feel emotionally. Hopefully, although I will gain a lot of weight, this will allow my cravings to stabilize faster and my recovery to go quicker. I'm not sure it will be all the good for my body to have all that sugar and fat everyday, but I guess it's not much worse than not giving it any processed sugar or fat back when I will stuck in my anorexic ways and living off fruit and vegetables. If it helps me to beat all the horrible feelings and thoughts and get back to eating a normal diet in the long run, then it can't be too bad right?

    Ah yes, the little comfort zones anorexia loves. The rules and regulations that we place on ourselves, how they ruin our lives! My main one in recovery is that I can't eat unhealthy two days in a row. However, with all the cravings that is getting increasingly harder! I suppose the key is to remember that having pizza two days in a row isn't going to kill me, neither is having it three days in a row for that matter! I guess its all about eating without guilt and fear and I know for a fact that none of my friends are scared of pizza!

    I can't thank you enough for you help, really thank you so, so much!
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    (Original post by Jasminem97)
    As someone who was in hospital and suffered from this a couple of years ago, I'd be happy to give you some advice/information from an ex-sufferers perspective If you want to talk/ask any questions just message me

    Good luck with you're recovery, its so worth it
    Thank you, that is very kind of you! I love hearing that people are 'ex- suffers', because its proof that things do get better and we can come out the other side! Well done on recovering, I hope that one day I too can call myself a survivor of anorexia!
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    Hi, I just want to thank everyone again for their messages. It has been nearly 6 months since I first posted this thread and since then I have been getting help by the NHS for Anorexia. I have since managed to raise my weight back up to a healthy BMI (I am not allowed to know the actual weight) and although I am still struggling with managing to eat the right amount of calories and to ignore the unhelpful thoughts, I would like to think I have come a long way since I first wrote this post. My body is so much more alive and I am now able to do so much more, which Anorexia had taken away from me before. Thank you all for your motivation xxxx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I just want to thank everyone again for their messages. It has been nearly 6 months since I first posted this thread and since then I have been getting help by the NHS for Anorexia. I have since managed to raise my weight back up to a healthy BMI (I am not allowed to know the actual weight) and although I am still struggling with managing to eat the right amount of calories and to ignore the unhelpful thoughts, I would like to think I have come a long way since I first wrote this post. My body is so much more alive and I am now able to do so much more, which Anorexia had taken away from me before. Thank you all for your motivation xxxx
    That's fantastic to hear OP, congratulations again and all the best for the future.
 
 
 
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