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    Hey everyone.

    Bear with me with this, it's a long story.

    I have been with my fiancé M for 6 years now. At the beginning of the relationship he cheated on me physically with 2 girls which I forgave him for after a couple of months of separation. We got back together and since then he's flirted with well over a handful of girls over the likes of Facebook. For the past 18 months he hasn't cheated or messaged any girls. However, despite me forgiving him for this I have trouble getting past it and I'm not sure whether it's time to call it quits despite how heartbreaking it will be. I love him to bits but I feel like I'm lying to myself when I tell myself I'll get over and forget what he did before.

    I've recently met another guy who I've met up with a few times now. I feel things for him (S) that I never felt for M. I can see myself being in a relationship with him but I'm frightened because of my trust issues that I have because of M. I'm not a cheat so it will be one or the other lol. To be honest I think my mind is made up that I'm gonna break up with M but it's so hard after 6 years and weirdly I don't want to hurt him. He has always been an attention seeker which is where I believe the cheating come from, he admits I have never done anything that would make him want to cheat, it was just him being immature.

    At the moment I have a lot on my mind with university and family bereavements but I know that I should break up with him as soon as possible and get it over with. Like I said I don't want to hurt him, and in a strange way me breaking up will benefit me in that I will have more time to focus on my degree and so on. Every time we have an argument he says he's afraid to lose me and that he'll change but never delivers. We live together and I will feel bad kicking him out if/when we break up.

    How would you approach this?

    I'll answer any questions if this doesn't make sense, apologies if it doesn't!

    Thanks x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey everyone.

    Bear with me with this, it's a long story.

    I have been with my fiancé M for 6 years now. At the beginning of the relationship he cheated on me physically with 2 girls which I forgave him for after a couple of months of separation. We got back together and since then he's flirted with well over a handful of girls over the likes of Facebook. For the past 18 months he hasn't cheated or messaged any girls. However, despite me forgiving him for this I have trouble getting past it and I'm not sure whether it's time to call it quits despite how heartbreaking it will be. I love him to bits but I feel like I'm lying to myself when I tell myself I'll get over and forget what he did before.

    I've recently met another guy who I've met up with a few times now. I feel things for him (S) that I never felt for M. I can see myself being in a relationship with him but I'm frightened because of my trust issues that I have because of M. I'm not a cheat so it will be one or the other lol. To be honest I think my mind is made up that I'm gonna break up with M but it's so hard after 6 years and weirdly I don't want to hurt him. He has always been an attention seeker which is where I believe the cheating come from, he admits I have never done anything that would make him want to cheat, it was just him being immature.

    At the moment I have a lot on my mind with university and family bereavements but I know that I should break up with him as soon as possible and get it over with. Like I said I don't want to hurt him, and in a strange way me breaking up will benefit me in that I will have more time to focus on my degree and so on. Every time we have an argument he says he's afraid to lose me and that he'll change but never delivers. We live together and I will feel bad kicking him out if/when we break up.

    How would you approach this?

    I'll answer any questions if this doesn't make sense, apologies if it doesn't!

    Thanks x
    There is no easy way of doing it but at the same time if you are not happy in the relationship then it is best to finish it, but don't rush into things with the new guy.
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    Well don't base your decision on S, that's for sure. IMHO cheating so early on is a big red flag for me. It tells me he's likely to do it again even in marriage. I understand that just because someone's cheated doesn't mean they will necessarily do it again. But then you will have to contend with the what ifs, doubt, and paranoia for the rest of your relationship and honestly my sanity and peace of mind is worth more. Should you be even marrying a guy you don't completely trust? Or when you have feelings for someone else? I think you've answered your own question.


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