Argh I am looking for some impartial objective advice about this situation I am in. Well, its not even a situation as such. Its about a guy. He has a girlfriend – which is why I am wondering about our “friendship” (and I know I probably should just think he has a girlfriend – back off).
If you have a spare hour to read about my small issue readon!
Basically we met each other 7 years ago when I was with my now ex.He was friends with my ex and the first time we met was on a night out when my ex left me alone with whilst he went to talk to other friends so we got chatting and just hit it off (in a friendly manner I mean).Then we met a few more times at other nights out and once I was walking home from a night outand saw him and other friends and so we all went to another bar for some shots and had such a laugh – there was such chemistry between us.The final time I saw him was at my best friend’s wedding and we spent the whole time talking then we spoke on facebook for a few months but things got serious with my ex so I stopped all contact with him. I have thought about him so much over the years however and when my relationship ended I sent him a message on facebook to say hi.We have been talking ever since and he admitted me had such strong feelings for me, it was torturous to see me at the wedding and hehad to force himself to “get over me”.Our messages are friendly and sometimes bordering on flirtatious.He didn’t mention his girlfriend but I did find out and although he wasn’t outrageously flirting with me I did say to him if I was her I wouldn’t be happy about the contact and shall we remain intouch.He has explained that he is happy with her but she isn’t the love of his life. Their relationship isn’t moving forward because of her commitments to ahouse she bought which is forcing her to live at home with her parents .I won’t contact him for a while as I have an attack of guilt and think I should leave it but he will always contact me again. We just get on so well we sharephotos of food we have cooked and talk about everything and anything.
Its a hard situation as I am single and its easy for me tothink about him and really like him, whereas he is in a relationship and unlikely to do anything unless it came to a head. I just don’t understand why he contacts me/stays in contact. He said he enjoys our friendship. Could it be more? I did sort of “get over him” when I stopped contact for a few weeks but when he contacted me again I got butterflies of excitement. Yes, I know I sound like a schoolgirl.I do enjoy feeling this way but with no future prospects am I going to drive myself insane?! Its not stopping me from thinking about dating other men but I am worried he will always be the “what if”guy.I don’t want to be on my death bedand think but what if!! Gah! Sorry for this long spiel!
I was thinking of sending an anonymous v card but a handmade one and not a romantic one,just a thinking of you type thing.Should I or not? Only one life and all that or am I being a ***** to his girlfriend?
Looking forward to reading some varied opinions and will take on board any advice or thoughts.
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What is going on with this guy?! watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-01-2015 16:19
- 12-01-2015 17:58
Sounds like a difficult situation.
What i would do in your situation is find out he definite feelings for you, you don't want to end up being 'the other girl' do you? :P If he likes you more than a friend then he should choose you but if not, it's not worth worrying over in that aspect. And about the card thing, i'm not so sure, might look a bit too flirty, especially since he's in a relationship good luck
- Thread Starter
- 12-01-2015 18:40
He has said before if things dont work out with his gf he'd be after me - I queried his happiness when he keeps talking to another girl ie me. I think you are right re the card. I was going to do it anonymously but still...
Thank you for reading and your reply