This is going to be a thread with two social problems. Currently in my second term as a fresher at Uni.
The first is to do with a housemate of mine (let's call him Laurel). I tend to get on with him and his flatmates better than my own so I'm with them regularly. I'm more of an good acquaintance with Laurel so he doesn't know me well enough to spot any flaws in me, we've had a few good conversations in his flat's kitchen, added him on Facebook and Twitter, gone to a pub quiz, had Xmas dinner together and even escorted him to a pre-drinks gathering but since we've been back for the second term he's been ignoring me, the first time I saw him at his flat he was going to walk past me as if I was invisible to him, not a greeting or small-talk and it took his friend to tell him that I WAS IN FRONT OF HIM and just to say "Hello". Today he didn't say a word to me when I greeted the flat in the kitchen, whilst he was laughing explicitly at one of his flatmate's funny comments. It's as if he's been cloned and it's his clone behaving like this, I only see him when at his flat and nowhere with other flat-mates so I can't ask him for a chat about what's wrong as it would be awkward. I don't want any hostility between us and compromise my good friendships with his flatmates. I even decided organised to move to their flat. I can't understand or have a recollection of what I've done between that Xmas dinner and the New Year as we've been away. I'm just lost...
The other one is a girl in third year who I've grown to like a bit more than before. We met at a volunteering event as part of a Psychology society we're both part of but never spoke, it was later at a Xmas party before end of term that we spoke a lot and messed around with drinks and sweets. I kept telling her that I hated her, but I actually meant the opposite ( if anyone understands Psychology it's called Reaction formation ) and actually told her that I liked her when her friend left us "alone". We then went outside and had a deep conversation about her life and life generally. I took on the role as the listener and then added her on Facebook before leaving the party. I tried to initiate a conversation only once saying "hey" but she never replied. Even since being back early for the New Year and exams, we've only just greeted each other when passing by or whilst we've been preparing for our exams. I found out through her friend, who I met in complete isolation and happened to know her via being coursemates with her, that she likes Asian guys and I have noticed it before and can empathise as I have my strong social preferences too. Bottom line is that I just want to be friends with her and spend some quality time as she'a quite a fascinating character but I feel my one weak attempt of talking to her on Facebook has pathetically hurt my chances and I don't want to interrupt her conversations with her Asian friends when I see her as I don't feel it's polite, I know there are other girls out here but I'm just fine having a good friendship with her.
Sorry about all this guys. I just want some honest, objective advice on these two situations and want to step up my social life!
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Housemate ignoring me watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-01-2015 01:58
- 15-01-2015 15:00
The first one - it sounds like he is being passive aggressive. Something has clearly changed, and he decided he is giving you the silent treatment. Usually with people like this, I make it blatantly obvious that it is disrespectful so when you see him literally shout "HELLOOO, HOW ARE YOU?? I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!" . you can do this with your other flatmates there. It will make him respond to you and you can finally speak to him about why he is being the way he is.