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Can't be seen without a full face of make-up after comment watch

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    I know it's terribly insecure and that I shouldn't care what people say, but..

    this is what a female friend of my boyfriend's said about me after finding out that he liked me and that we were going on a date:

    'Omg, I cannot believe she's actually trying to date you, that's hilarious. You can NOT go there, she is really really ugly. You cannot possibly stoop so low.' She also said stuff like she'd assumed I'd have an ugly boyfriend already.

    This was quite a while ago now, but I only found out about the comment more recently. I found out when my boyfriend gave me his old phone and I was deleting old messages off it, and came across this one.

    I haven't told him I know because I know I was reading the messages and I shouldn't have done, so i'd rather just forget it.

    Anyway, since then, she has 'liked' my facebook pictures and she's given me compliments on my hair. I saw her just a handful of times in the past 2 years, but recently we've started to see her and her boyfriend a little more.

    To be honest, I don't want them to see me now without a face full of make up and my hair done, and nice clothes, because I feel insecure after her comments. I mean I'm no model, but I didn't think I was hideous. She doesn't have to think i'm attractive, but she was very nasty about me.

    So yeah, every time I know we're going to see her or them both, I spend a lot of time carefully doing my make-up. They've never said anything mean to me, but they wouldn't to my face.

    Anyway, my boyfriend has noticed and thinks it's silly, but I can't tell him why. She's obviously confident in her looks, because we recently went to eat dinner at their place, and I was done up and in a smart outfit, while she was sat in her pyjamas and had greasy hair.

    How can I not care so much? I just feel like I have to be on standby ready all the time because they can sometimes just pop round at any moment. Am I just being too insecure? Thanks for any advice.
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    and I mean perfectly immaculate make-up. I tend to get spots, and if I'm with them and I see that my concealer has come off a little bit, I'll go to the bathroom and apply more...
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    That's horrible and I can totally see why you'd feel uneasy around her...
    She sounds very false, two-faced and untrustworthy, but I know it's easier said than done to just 'ignore her'.

    The fact that you and your bf have been together for 2 years suggests he thinks pretty highly of you, so try to focus on that instead of her opinion
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    I might be stating the obvious here, but has it occurred to you that she might just have been insanely jealous of you? Why else would she have put so much energy into slating you?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I might be stating the obvious here, but has it occurred to you that she might just have been insanely jealous of you? Why else would she have put so much energy into slating you?
    This too. She might have an issue with a guy she's close to getting a more important girl in his life.
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    (Original post by Going_To_California)
    That's horrible and I can totally see why you'd feel uneasy around her...
    She sounds very false, two-faced and untrustworthy, but I know it's easier said than done to just 'ignore her'.

    The fact that you and your bf have been together for 2 years suggests he thinks pretty highly of you, so try to focus on that instead of her opinion
    Yeah....:/ my acne was quite bad back then I guess, but yeah she just made me feel like an absolute beast, lol..
    but yeah she's a good friend of my boyfriend's and she's also dating his best friend. He says he likes her but he recognises that she can be *****y and dramatic etc. But yeah now we do see them more frequently as I said, and I'll just try to think of the positives as you've suggested
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    **** what she says, if you're happy with how you look then don't feel the need to wear full make up She sounds like a ***** anyway
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I might be stating the obvious here, but has it occurred to you that she might just have been insanely jealous of you? Why else would she have put so much energy into slating you?
    I'm not sure about that.... I'm pretty sure she's never been into my boyfriend like that, she's been dating his best mate for a few years now and she had another long-term boyfriend before him. Besides, she apparently gets on with guys better than girls.
    She literally didn't know me at all when she made those comments, she had briefly met me once and that was all. In terms of looks, she's one of those girls who has hundreds of likes on her facebook pictures and she's always getting told that she's beautiful etc., plus appears to have had a lot of guys interested in her, so otherwise I cannot see what she couldve been jealous of....
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    (Original post by tinkerbell_xxx)
    **** what she says, if you're happy with how you look then don't feel the need to wear full make up She sounds like a ***** anyway
    Yeah it's true Tbh I actually felt like the ugly one out of the four of us lol, with her, and her boyfriend is fairly handsome, and of course I think mine is lol, and I literally felt inferior...
    it's just a bit weird that those 3 know that all of this stuff was said and none of them know that I know....
    I do usually wear make-up anyway daily but I'm not obsessive like I am around them lol... I just need to try to be more self-confident
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure about that.... I'm pretty sure she's never been into my boyfriend like that, she's been dating his best mate for a few years now and she had another long-term boyfriend before him. Besides, she apparently gets on with guys better than girls.
    She literally didn't know me at all when she made those comments, she had briefly met me once and that was all. In terms of looks, she's one of those girls who has hundreds of likes on her facebook pictures and she's always getting told that she's beautiful etc., plus appears to have had a lot of guys interested in her, so otherwise I cannot see what she couldve been jealous of....
    Well for one thing you clearly have a better personality! Also even if you're not as popular as her, doesn't mean to say you're not more attractive.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Well for one thing you clearly have a better personality! Also even if you're not as popular as her, doesn't mean to say you're not more attractive.
    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's terribly insecure and that I shouldn't care what people say, but..

    this is what a female friend of my boyfriend's said about me after finding out that he liked me and that we were going on a date:

    'Omg, I cannot believe she's actually trying to date you, that's hilarious. You can NOT go there, she is really really ugly. You cannot possibly stoop so low.' She also said stuff like she'd assumed I'd have an ugly boyfriend already.

    This was quite a while ago now, but I only found out about the comment more recently. I found out when my boyfriend gave me his old phone and I was deleting old messages off it, and came across this one.

    I haven't told him I know because I know I was reading the messages and I shouldn't have done, so i'd rather just forget it.

    Anyway, since then, she has 'liked' my facebook pictures and she's given me compliments on my hair. I saw her just a handful of times in the past 2 years, but recently we've started to see her and her boyfriend a little more.

    To be honest, I don't want them to see me now without a face full of make up and my hair done, and nice clothes, because I feel insecure after her comments. I mean I'm no model, but I didn't think I was hideous. She doesn't have to think i'm attractive, but she was very nasty about me.

    So yeah, every time I know we're going to see her or them both, I spend a lot of time carefully doing my make-up. They've never said anything mean to me, but they wouldn't to my face.

    Anyway, my boyfriend has noticed and thinks it's silly, but I can't tell him why. She's obviously confident in her looks, because we recently went to eat dinner at their place, and I was done up and in a smart outfit, while she was sat in her pyjamas and had greasy hair.

    How can I not care so much? I just feel like I have to be on standby ready all the time because they can sometimes just pop round at any moment. Am I just being too insecure? Thanks for any advice.
    Wow, what an unfair, rude girl. Why is he friends with such a person? :/

    I can understand why you now feel this way. But remember that in no way do you have to somehow alter your appearance to somehow validate yourself for her. Who cares what she thinks? By what you've said, I think you're quite confident in yourself, and this comment has interfered with that mindset.
    I suggest that you do whatever you want. If you don't want to wear make up, dont!! If you do something, do it for yourself, rather than to prove a point to someone who isn't worthy of your attention. And restore that confidence in yourself, you've got nothing to be ashamed of!
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    People are often *****y about others appearances. It's quite usually out of jealousy, which is sad but meh.

    Honestly, your boyfriend finds you attractive clearly and I'm sure he's seen you without makeup, I wouldn't pay any heed to this girls comments, which were totally nasty and most likely untrue.
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    You don't worry about what she wrote about you.

    Going to her with full make up confirm her point, and that you don't trust your self.

    Do you think beauty has one meaning, and its only about the appearance. You are mistaken.

    You are going to beat her by being yourself, and act spontaneous when she is around.

    Beauty will go some time in the future, only what is last through time is your spirit, and personality.

    If you want to beat her ... Don't put make up. You just be happy when she is around you.



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    What a delightful child I can understand your anxiety and coping strategy, but would advise you to consider toning it down over time
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    If your boyfriend likes your face then pfff. who cares about her opinion
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    Sounds like this ho is a jealous *****. Look like what you want to wear :lol:

    But if you want to talk to your bf say you accidentally opened the message and read it.
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    She sounds like she was jealous that your boyfriend was paying attention to you not her. Even if she wasn't interested in him she maybe wanted the attention. I'd avoid going over if you can. But that's just me
 
 
 
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