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HELP! Can you offer advice on this 'living' situation? watch

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    Hi, Here is one isse from two view points. Please offer your opinion (thank you):

    VIEWPOINT 1:
    I am a male and live in a flat with one other person (a very close friend, also male). Occasionally my father will stay over for a few weeks, but most of the time it’s just us. The lease and all the bills etc are under my name and the property has been in the family for 30 years. I allowed my flat to paint his room (because he didn’t like the previous colour). Recently he has told me he is unhappy living there because of the condition of the flat. Admittedly, there is mould on the ceiling of the bathroom and the toilet seat has not been secured top the toilet for over a year. There are also items that could be removed because they are no longer used and the carpet needs to be deep-cleaned or replaced. However, this has nothing to with him. I see this as my family’s flat. He often tells me he would like to help me to redecorate (if I allow him to) or that we should put a television in the living room (at the moment I just watch what I want to watch through my laptop in the living room and he watches the television/DVDs in his own room). I have recently been through a difficult time and at the moment I am happy to sit and relax with a film in the evening – not clean and paint. This issue is something we greatly disagree on and it has caused tension between us, but I don’t want someone trying to influence the environment in which I live. If I want to make changes, I will do so on my own terms.

    VIEWPOINT 2:
    I live in a flat which gets virtually no natural light. The carpet is in a very unclean state and all of the windows are dirty (both inside and out). There are cockroaches in the kitchen, damp on the bathroom ceiling and mice in the walls (some which get into the flat). I would love the opportunity to sit with my flatmate and talk about ways we could both make it a better place to live, but this subject is impossible to discuss (he gets angry). Anyone I know who has visited the flat agrees that it needs re-decorating, but the decision lies with the one person who is least interested in doing anything. I do not want to dictate how the place should appear, I’d just like make some rational and practical changes (with him having the final say) to a place with some incredible potential. My flatmate has the money to make these changes, and I am happy to contribute financially too, but he just isn’t interested. De-cluttering costs nothing, but that’s off-topic too. I have tried every approach I can think of, but they are all rebuffed. He says he will do it in his own time, but actions speak louder than words (nothing’s changed). I understand his sentimental attachment to a place that he has lived for many years, but even his mother agrees that it “definitely” needs decorating. I have never heard anyone complement it, but have heard many make negative comments. Am I right to think that he is deluded to think that living like this is ‘normal’? I think it would be great for both of us to work towards something that makes the place so much better to live – a bright, clean environment that makes staying in a joy – it would also give him something to do in the evening (other than use his laptop).I feel that if he could envisage the end result, he’d be happy to get motivated and start making changes. But how do I get him to actually start?
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    is your flatmate paying rent? if so then you need to sort issues like mould out as a matter of urgency, replacing the carpet/getting a TV are less urgent but probably still need doing
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    Redecorating in January? :lol:

    I'd wait until Spring mate.
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    Does your flat mate have a formal tenancy agreement with you or is he just a lodger? If the former you have a duty to maintain the property and then when his tenancy agreement expires, he can leave/you can fail to renew it. If the latter,well he can find somewhere more suitable if he likes.
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    There is no formal agreement - the flatmate just pays the flat owner each month. What we would like to know is - who do you think has the right attitude towards the flat - and why?
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    (Original post by Limpopo)
    when his tenancy agreement expires, he can leave/you can fail to renew it.
    Just as a point: When a fixed term tenancy expires, the tenancy doesnt actually end. Failing to renew a fixed term tenancy just means that the tenancy transfers to a periodic tenancy.
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    (Original post by RonR)
    There is no formal agreement - the flatmate just pays the flat owner each month. What we would like to know is - who do you think has the right attitude towards the flat - and why?
    There is no 'right' attitude. Clearly both parties expect different things.

    As the flatmate is a lodger and not a tenant they have very little rights. Equally however they are free to leave at any point without penalty.
 
 
 
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