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Father attacked me watch

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    After years of psychological abuse, my father finally physically assaulted me for the first time. Don't worry folks, I'm not hurt, I managed to over power him as he's not very strong. But obviously this is irrelevant.

    He had been drinking and he has problems with intelligent conversation in normal situation. He starts shouting at me and grabs me by the throat when my back is turned.

    Obviously, If I was under 18, it would be a simple go to Childline ordeal. But the complicated issue is that I'm 24 years old (and a guy) and don't have the financial means to rent in London right now. Plus I'm saving up for university to do a PGCE, so I can get out of this situation. Not that I can save any money as I can't find proper jobs!!!

    Anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this? Because I wonder how long until he does it again or kicks me out (which he threatened me with). Is there anywhere I can turn to, or any way I can get support to move out.

    Any help or guidance will be much appreciated. And please do ask me to clarify anything if this doesn't make any sense.
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    OP call the police now
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    Hit him back?

    I dunno man, it's a tricky situation. If you emasculate him in his own house he could kick out you, which is a route I'm guessing you don't want to go down.
    On the other hand, it's important that you let him know not to attack you again. Tricky situation indeed.
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    Wish you well OP
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    (Original post by Drunk Punx)
    Hit him back?

    I dunno man, it's a tricky situation. If you emasculate him in his own house he could kick out you, which is a route I'm guessing you don't want to go down.
    On the other hand, it's important that you let him know not to attack you again. Tricky situation indeed.
    I did pin him against the kitchen cabinets and told him never to do that to me again, so that's as far as I deem reasonable on a self-defence front. The being kicked out part is the worry, besides any future incidents.

    I'd otherwise call the police like suggested above. So I'm in a tricky situation as without a home, I won't have much in the way of my teacher training or a career! :confused:
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    Why can't you save money? Presumably you pay no rent so working full time in any job would give you a fair amount of savings after a few months/years
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    (Original post by e aí rapaz)
    Why can't you save money? Presumably you pay no rent so working full time in any job would give you a fair amount of savings after a few months/years
    London prices...

    I already pay to live here as well. Plus an undergrad degree in English hasn't treated me too well on the wage and skill front. But this is a matter for another day
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    London prices...

    I already pay to live here as well. Plus an undergrad degree in English hasn't treated me too well on the wage and skill front. But this is a matter for another day
    Is it? If I had an abusive father I would save up to leave. You don't really have any other choice in fact, since like you said, any other course of action would lead to you being kicked out. What have you been doing since you were 18 besides getting your degree (3 years unaccounted for)?

    Even with a retail or bar job or whatever you could save up a lot in 3 years if you're still living at home.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After years of psychological abuse, my father finally physically assaulted me for the first time. Don't worry folks, I'm not hurt, I managed to over power him as he's not very strong. But obviously this is irrelevant.

    He had been drinking and he has problems with intelligent conversation in normal situation. He starts shouting at me and grabs me by the throat when my back is turned.

    Obviously, If I was under 18, it would be a simple go to Childline ordeal. But the complicated issue is that I'm 24 years old (and a guy) and don't have the financial means to rent in London right now. Plus I'm saving up for university to do a PGCE, so I can get out of this situation. Not that I can save any money as I can't find proper jobs!!!

    Anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this? Because I wonder how long until he does it again or kicks me out (which he threatened me with). Is there anywhere I can turn to, or any way I can get support to move out.

    Any help or guidance will be much appreciated. And please do ask me to clarify anything if this doesn't make any sense.
    I really feel for you single guys don't have it easy with means of help. Go to the crb for some advice on where u stand what help you can get possibly ?

    Could u house share with friends ect ?

    Sorry not much help but could t read and run.

    X
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    Youth hostel, fight him, man up, move out of London if you can or find a cheaper way of moving out. I would say have you got any savings but you are saving up. You could ask him for some money but if your relationship becomes less shall we say fractious, then you might as well stay. Have you got any other relatives you could ask to move in with or ask money of?
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    best advice I can offer is to stay in your room away from him when he's drunk. In London you should be able to find work that is reasonably paid so you also need to consider your cv and widening your job search. Work two jobs while you save up and then you'll be around less to annoy him. Look into sharing accommodation with other young people, you might find something on gumtree.
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    I'm not sure... I think if I were in your situation I'd try stay out of his way, maybe look for groups to help him? If it happens again I would consider calling the police...
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    (Original post by e aí rapaz)
    Is it? If I had an abusive father I would save up to leave. You don't really have any other choice in fact, since like you said, any other course of action would lead to you being kicked out. What have you been doing since you were 18 besides getting your degree (3 years unaccounted for)?

    Even with a retail or bar job or whatever you could save up a lot in 3 years if you're still living at home.
    I taught abroad for most of the time, mainly because I graduated during the recession and couldn't find work. Plus I had no savings to do an internship. I've recently been working in retail whilst getting work experience in schools and have just started a paid teaching assistant role. So things are looking up in that aspect!

    I have a bit saved, but without saving more I can't afford to live doing the PGCE. I will move in with my gf, but as she's recently come to the UK and has no experience here, I cannot guarantee she can pay the bills as of right now. I'm sure this will change, and she's working hard to find something other than working as an au pair, but I have to factor this in. Obviously this will be good as we can share the cost together when the time comes. But right now, she won't be able to do this, meaning that my PGCE savings will dry up very quickly on my low wage.

    I'm not sure... I think if I were in your situation I'd try stay out of his way, maybe look for groups to help him? If it happens again I would consider calling the police...
    This certainly seems sensible to me. It's rubbish to have to resort to this, but I don't have much choice I guess.
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    You don't have to stay in London all your life yano. The best thing to do with an abusive father is move as far away as possible from them and break off all contact. Go elsewhere for a fresh start and then you won't even have to worry about him trying to pester you or bumping into him when you're out and about or whatever.

    The last time I seen my dad was nearly 7 years ago and I'm all the better for it now.
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    (Original post by e aí rapaz)
    Is it? If I had an abusive father I would save up to leave. You don't really have any other choice in fact, since like you said, any other course of action would lead to you being kicked out. What have you been doing since you were 18 besides getting your degree (3 years unaccounted for)?

    Even with a retail or bar job or whatever you could save up a lot in 3 years if you're still living at home.

    That's unreasonable and unrealistic.

    I live at home and have to pay £250 a month to my mum for rent, as well as all my other costs, travel etc.


    Some people can live at home carefree but us from less well off backgrounds don't. I can't physically save. And I'm not going to jeaporidse my academic performance by working more hours than I already do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After years of psychological abuse, my father finally physically assaulted me for the first time. Don't worry folks, I'm not hurt, I managed to over power him as he's not very strong. But obviously this is irrelevant.

    He had been drinking and he has problems with intelligent conversation in normal situation. He starts shouting at me and grabs me by the throat when my back is turned.

    Obviously, If I was under 18, it would be a simple go to Childline ordeal. But the complicated issue is that I'm 24 years old (and a guy) and don't have the financial means to rent in London right now. Plus I'm saving up for university to do a PGCE, so I can get out of this situation. Not that I can save any money as I can't find proper jobs!!!

    Anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this? Because I wonder how long until he does it again or kicks me out (which he threatened me with). Is there anywhere I can turn to, or any way I can get support to move out.

    Any help or guidance will be much appreciated. And please do ask me to clarify anything if this doesn't make any sense.
    Do you have any other relatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc.) it would be possible to stay with? Try to leave London, rents are far more affordable up north. Apply to unis far away from home so you don't need to live with him. Telling you to man up is not very helpful, and actually could potentially be quite damaging. If you were a women in this situation, what would you do, and what would your reaction be to a woman in this situation who asked you for advice?
    Try to get a job so you are financially independent, although unless you are very lucky, you will probably be unable to afford a place of your own in London.
    If he tries to assault you again, go to the police. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    That's unreasonable and unrealistic.

    I live at home and have to pay £250 a month to my mum for rent, as well as all my other costs, travel etc.


    Some people can live at home carefree but us from less well off backgrounds don't. I can't physically save. And I'm not going to jeaporidse my academic performance by working more hours than I already do.
    I believe you're looking a little too hard for something to be offended about here. My advice/questions were aimed at the OP, not all people in all situations ever.

    OP is not at uni. He is 24 years old. An adult living at home can easily save money even on a low-paid full time job (not that he even HAS to get a low-paid job, I'm just saying worst case, better than nothing, it's pretty easy to get a retail job if you can't find anything else).
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    (Original post by IanDangerously)
    You don't have to stay in London all your life yano. The best thing to do with an abusive father is move as far away as possible from them and break off all contact. Go elsewhere for a fresh start and then you won't even have to worry about him trying to pester you or bumping into him when you're out and about or whatever.

    The last time I seen my dad was nearly 7 years ago and I'm all the better for it now.
    This is good advice.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    That's unreasonable and unrealistic.

    I live at home and have to pay £250 a month to my mum for rent, as well as all my other costs, travel etc.

    Some people can live at home carefree but us from less well off backgrounds don't. I can't physically save. And I'm not going to jeaporidse my academic performance by working more hours than I already do.
    This.
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    Call the police.
 
 
 
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