amyphilbin
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Im having jealousy problems with my boyfriend, I am getting constantly jealous over nothing and it's silly and making me constantly worried and argue with him.
We were really close before we got together for a couple of months and then we finally got together and ever since before we got together and we were close, I have been so jealous.
The main reason I get jealous is because he used to fancy this girl in our year who he sits next to in one of his lessons and sometimes I worry that he may still fancy her although he is constantly reassuring me that he doesn't and only loves and wants me.
Another reason I get jealous is because I know this other girl in the same year as us fancys him and him and her go to an all girls school to do seperate subjects at the same time and therefore they walk together aswell as catching the bus together everyday and I worry something may happen, like he may lead her on or she may lead him on or something and again, he always reassures me nothing will happen but it doesn't stop me worrying and getting jealous everytime they are together.
Another reason I get jealous is the fact that 6 hours a week he goes to an all girls school to do a chemistry lesson and it's all girls in his class apart from one boy, and I get very jealous and worried about that although he always tells me that nothing will happen because he doesn't really talk to the other girls but yet again, that doesn't stop me worrying.
So as you can tell, I get jealous very easily over the tiniest of things and he is definitely not the type of boy to cheat on me or do anything with any other girls but I still get worried.
I know that I worry because I had a previous relationship with a boy who went to an all girls school 6hours a week and I had troubles with him flirting with this other girl and he kept trying to reassure me nothing would happen between them, and then he broke up with me and got with the girl he said nothing would ever happen between.
So I know this is the reason why I worry and I do try very hard not to let the past get in the way of my future with things like this, but I just find myself getting jealous and angry so easily and it's causing so many arguments between us.
I was just wondering if anyone else has been or is in the same situation as me and could give me some advice on how to overcome this.
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LannaBanana
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Jealousy's one of those things I'm afraid, that you tell yourself is stupid after the incident, but at the time feels entirely rational to you. You just have to remember: you being jealous can never be a good thing - either you're jealous, and he does nothing to break your trust, so you wasted all that time being jealous. Or, more likely - you're jealous, it pushes him away, hurts the relationship.

You have to realise as well, that people are going to do whatever they want to do. You being jealous will not and cannot change the outcome. If anything, you put ideas into his head and he starts thinking about it.

I suggest you try to concentrate on other things, and focusing on your own self-esteem issues. Good luck!
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amyphilbin
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(Original post by LannaBanana)
Jealousy's one of those things I'm afraid, that you tell yourself is stupid after the incident, but at the time feels entirely rational to you. You just have to remember: you being jealous can never be a good thing - either you're jealous, and he does nothing to break your trust, so you wasted all that time being jealous. Or, more likely - you're jealous, it pushes him away, hurts the relationship.

You have to realise as well, that people are going to do whatever they want to do. You being jealous will not and cannot change the outcome. If anything, you put ideas into his head and he starts thinking about it.

I suggest you try to concentrate on other things, and focusing on your own self-esteem issues. Good luck!
I'm constantly telling myself it's stupid and all in my head and I know so many couples that go through it but I suppose as tou say it's just there.
I see what your saying about ending up pushing him away as sometimes I feel like I'm doing that and so I need to get out of this.
Thank You So Much
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carlaraptor
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You need to try to not project your jealous feelings onto him - he might feel like you're accusing him, or that you don't trust him. Maybe work on your self esteem... just because she's attractive, doesn't mean you're not. If he fancied her, he'd be with her instead. It's healthy to still find other people attractive, but if he likes you (which it sounds like he definitely does), then he won't be giving any other girl a second thought.

When you have these feelings, do your best to work through them yourself. Once you start doing that, you'll find it easier to deal with each time.
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Das Auto
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A small amount of jealousy is healthy in any relationship. Getting slightly jealous shows that you care as long as you don't get paranoid and let it affect your relationship. No jealousy would indicate someone that has somewhat of a laid back attitude to the relationship and I'd want someone fully committed.

Just don't let it consume your life and accept that there will be other women out there that will find him attractive.
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amyphilbin
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(Original post by carlaraptor)
You need to try to not project your jealous feelings onto him - he might feel like you're accusing him, or that you don't trust him. Maybe work on your self esteem... just because she's attractive, doesn't mean you're not. If he fancied her, he'd be with her instead. It's healthy to still find other people attractive, but if he likes you (which it sounds like he definitely does), then he won't be giving any other girl a second thought.

When you have these feelings, do your best to work through them yourself. Once you start doing that, you'll find it easier to deal with each time.
Yeah that very true. I will, thank you
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amyphilbin
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(Original post by Das Auto)
A small amount of jealousy is healthy in any relationship. Getting slightly jealous shows that you care as long as you don't get paranoid and let it affect your relationship. No jealousy would indicate someone that has somewhat of a laid back attitude to the relationship and I'd want someone fully committed.

Just don't let it consume your life and accept that there will be other women out there that will find him attractive.
True, thank you.
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Antifazian
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Do you keep a journal? It might be helpful to write about these feelings so that you can work through them yourself, so as not to be projecting them on to him which could cause conflict and resentment. Jealousy is a normal emotion, but it can be harmful as it is to you now, so it's in your interest to break it down and try to resolve some of it for yourself.

Ultimately, you can't control him, he will do what he wants, and he has chosen to be with you, so try to remember that rather than focusing on what could go wrong.
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amyphilbin
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(Original post by Antifazian)
Do you keep a journal? It might be helpful to write about these feelings so that you can work through them yourself, so as not to be projecting them on to him which could cause conflict and resentment. Jealousy is a normal emotion, but it can be harmful as it is to you now, so it's in your interest to break it down and try to resolve some of it for yourself.

Ultimately, you can't control him, he will do what he wants, and he has chosen to be with you, so try to remember that rather than focusing on what could go wrong.
I used to keep a journey and now I don't but I see what you're saying so I should start one.
That is very true, I can't control what he does although yes, he's chosen to be with me not them, so that means something right..
Thank You.
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username47781
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(Original post by amyphilbin)
Im having jealousy problems with my boyfriend, I am getting constantly jealous over nothing and it's silly and making me constantly worried and argue with him.
We were really close before we got together for a couple of months and then we finally got together and ever since before we got together and we were close, I have been so jealous.
The main reason I get jealous is because he used to fancy this girl in our year who he sits next to in one of his lessons and sometimes I worry that he may still fancy her although he is constantly reassuring me that he doesn't and only loves and wants me.
Another reason I get jealous is because I know this other girl in the same year as us fancys him and him and her go to an all girls school to do seperate subjects at the same time and therefore they walk together aswell as catching the bus together everyday and I worry something may happen, like he may lead her on or she may lead him on or something and again, he always reassures me nothing will happen but it doesn't stop me worrying and getting jealous everytime they are together.
Another reason I get jealous is the fact that 6 hours a week he goes to an all girls school to do a chemistry lesson and it's all girls in his class apart from one boy, and I get very jealous and worried about that although he always tells me that nothing will happen because he doesn't really talk to the other girls but yet again, that doesn't stop me worrying.
So as you can tell, I get jealous very easily over the tiniest of things and he is definitely not the type of boy to cheat on me or do anything with any other girls but I still get worried.
I know that I worry because I had a previous relationship with a boy who went to an all girls school 6hours a week and I had troubles with him flirting with this other girl and he kept trying to reassure me nothing would happen between them, and then he broke up with me and got with the girl he said nothing would ever happen between.
So I know this is the reason why I worry and I do try very hard not to let the past get in the way of my future with things like this, but I just find myself getting jealous and angry so easily and it's causing so many arguments between us.
I was just wondering if anyone else has been or is in the same situation as me and could give me some advice on how to overcome this.
You need to remember your boyfriend is with you because he wants you. I have been in a relationship like this where I have had a jealous girlfriend and in the end it drove me away from her, this is what you got to be careful of, jealousy is a big turn off.
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amyphilbin
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
You need to remember your boyfriend is with you because he wants you. I have been in a relationship like this where I have had a jealous girlfriend and in the end it drove me away from her, this is what you got to be careful of, jealousy is a big turn off.

I know that, although I can't seem to help getting jealous over small things but i'm not afraid to show it, where as he doesn't ever tell me when he is jealous but I can tell... But I will try not to get jealous as much as I don't want to lead him away from me.
Thank you.
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