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Am I a crap girlfriend?
last night, me and my boyfriend of 8 months had a big argument.
Basically it started off as something petty, and then he started bringing up past arguments we've had.
In the past I'v told him that we should spend more time together, but he says he sees me everyday in lectures, so there no need. He's constantly about 2 hours late when I ask him to come over, and forgets things like when we're supposed to go out.
Then last night when he was drunk he told me that I was selfish in bed, that I never made him cum before sex, and that he always made me cum!which is not true during sex btw. He says that I make him feel like a **** boyfriend because I sometimes doubt he loves me. But thats just because I've had crappy past relationships, and low self confidence, and he still texts his ex, who he sees at weekends...
i feel that I always initiate kisses and sex, and it's gradually wearing me down, how can I make our relationship like it was?
Basically it started off as something petty, and then he started bringing up past arguments we've had.In the past I'v told him that we should spend more time together, but he says he sees me everyday in lectures, so there no need. He's constantly about 2 hours late when I ask him to come over, and forgets things like when we're supposed to go out.
Then last night when he was drunk he told me that I was selfish in bed, that I never made him cum before sex, and that he always made me cum!which is not true during sex btw. He says that I make him feel like a **** boyfriend because I sometimes doubt he loves me. But thats just because I've had crappy past relationships, and low self confidence, and he still texts his ex, who he sees at weekends...
i feel that I always initiate kisses and sex, and it's gradually wearing me down, how can I make our relationship like it was?
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If it's like this after just 8 months, and from what I read in your post, it sounds like you are pretty incompatible
If he can't even show you the respect of being on time when you make plans, then he doesn't have much respect for your relationship.
I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, but if you are making each other feel bad, and are arguing a lot, then maybe you would be better moving on and finding someone who makes you happy?
Good luck, its such a bad feeling xx
If he can't even show you the respect of being on time when you make plans, then he doesn't have much respect for your relationship.
I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, but if you are making each other feel bad, and are arguing a lot, then maybe you would be better moving on and finding someone who makes you happy?
Good luck, its such a bad feeling xx
Reply 3
From the sounds of it, be more generous in bed (if the physical side is the problem). He might feel more inclined to initiate things then.
If the emotional side is the problem... all couples argue. I guess just try to be more understanding and maybe bite your tongue a bit more, or instead of arguing back, simply explain why what he has said has hurt you. That should defuse his aggression and stimulate his feelings of love.
If the emotional side is the problem... all couples argue. I guess just try to be more understanding and maybe bite your tongue a bit more, or instead of arguing back, simply explain why what he has said has hurt you. That should defuse his aggression and stimulate his feelings of love.
You dont sound like a crap girlfriend at all to me!
To be honest your bf sounds like a bit of an idiot! If he had issues with your sex life then he should have been honest and told you, not waited until he was drunk and then made a scene about it.
And Im not surprised your confidence is low if he still texts and sees his ex gf, what else does he expect?!!!
To be honest if he's making you feel like this then you might be better off alone or with someone else.... you deserve to be given all of his attention,you are his gf afterall, but he seems unable to do this.
To be honest your bf sounds like a bit of an idiot! If he had issues with your sex life then he should have been honest and told you, not waited until he was drunk and then made a scene about it.
And Im not surprised your confidence is low if he still texts and sees his ex gf, what else does he expect?!!!
To be honest if he's making you feel like this then you might be better off alone or with someone else.... you deserve to be given all of his attention,you are his gf afterall, but he seems unable to do this.
Reply 5
Oh he is a horrible boyfriend and he is the one being very selfish, if he refuses to change find someone who will appreciate you more, i doubt talking with him will work. I feel sorry for you
ellewoods
I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, but if you are making each other feel bad, and are arguing a lot, then maybe you would be better moving on and finding someone who makes you happy?
I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, but if you are making each other feel bad, and are arguing a lot, then maybe you would be better moving on and finding someone who makes you happy?
i dont really agree with that
, if you do that, you will end up finding another one each time that case happens to you. building a relationship is very hard, although not having gone through the experiences but the point of a relationship is bringing yourselves closer, the more you become open to each other, the lesser the barrier between you and him becomes. being open to him is a good thing, guys are a lot ignorant sometimes, i am and my mates are too. but if in doubt really, conversation is a cure. tell him you want a heart to heart session (*lol*). Asking whether he loves u or not is maybe a turn off, but its worth to ask... if done nicely in a good mood.
Ugh he sounds like the crap person in this relationship not you. Yes people can be excused for being late on the odd occasion but if he is doing it all the time, and you're his girlfriend that's just not right.
Also texting his ex and seeing her?! I wouldn't like that one bit (but that's just me).
You need to try and talk to him calmly and explain that you think there are some issues that need addressing.
Good luck
Also texting his ex and seeing her?! I wouldn't like that one bit (but that's just me).
You need to try and talk to him calmly and explain that you think there are some issues that need addressing.
Good luck
Anonymous
i feel that I always initiate kisses and sex, and it's gradually wearing me down, how can I make our relationship like it was?
Thats really unusual when you are the girl, although most guys could learn to live with something close to that in the sexual dept.
But it sounds like a really revealing bad sign about the relationship - when I felt I was the one making all the effort to call, talk and emotionally that was when my last relationship started to fail. Sorry to be discouraging.
Reply 12
Whilst I agree with the people saying he seems like a crap boyfriend, we don't know his side of the story and we're just taking whatever this girl says as the truth.
Also remember that people say stupid things when they are drunk. I'd talk to him about the things he said to you when he's drunk and find out if they are actually true. If he means enough to you, I'd talk about the sexual side of things, find out precisely what he thinks and try to come to a compromise.
If you're fed up of the relationship, perhaps it is time to have *that* talk with him. Don't rush into anything though if you are unsure. We don't know your boyfriend, you do so you're the best judge of what to do in a situation involving him. Perhaps try and see things from his point of view but sometimes we do have to be selfish and do things because they are best for us.
Good luck
Also remember that people say stupid things when they are drunk. I'd talk to him about the things he said to you when he's drunk and find out if they are actually true. If he means enough to you, I'd talk about the sexual side of things, find out precisely what he thinks and try to come to a compromise.
If you're fed up of the relationship, perhaps it is time to have *that* talk with him. Don't rush into anything though if you are unsure. We don't know your boyfriend, you do so you're the best judge of what to do in a situation involving him. Perhaps try and see things from his point of view but sometimes we do have to be selfish and do things because they are best for us.
Good luck
Reply 14
Yeah well if you're not careful making men come before sex often means you don't get any sex. They're useless, they only have so many goes in them per day. He sounds crap to me.
Reply 15
Personally, I think he should work harder on giving you what you want (ie. arriving on time, remembering important dates) before complaining that you don't satisfy him in the bedroom. As for the amount of time you spend together, perhaps that's just a case of incompatibility -- some people probably enjoy spending all the time with their partners, whereas others probably prefer a relationship that feels more casual. Also, I think he should be more understanding about your doubts over his love for you -- it's perfectly understandable if your experiences of past relationships have made this one harder.
Reply 16
It sounds to me like he is the one in the wrong, not you. What he said about seeing you in lectures was a bit weird, actually. Can he really class seeing you in lectures as spending quality time with you? I wouldnt have thought so, really.
Reply 17
Agree with what everyone else has said, you need to find out what's in his head, and then go from there.
It does sound like he and you are not compatable, but you can't make that decision until you've talked to him.
for you.
It does sound like he and you are not compatable, but you can't make that decision until you've talked to him.
for you.Reply 18
Anonymous
and then he started bringing up past arguments we've had.
In the past I'v told him that we should spend more time together, but he says he sees me everyday in lectures, so there no need. He's constantly about 2 hours late when I ask him to come over, and forgets things like when we're supposed to go out.
Then last night when he was drunk he told me that I was selfish in bed, that I never made him cum before sex, and that he always made me cum!which is not true during sex btw.
In the past I'v told him that we should spend more time together, but he says he sees me everyday in lectures, so there no need. He's constantly about 2 hours late when I ask him to come over, and forgets things like when we're supposed to go out.
Then last night when he was drunk he told me that I was selfish in bed, that I never made him cum before sex, and that he always made me cum!which is not true during sex btw.
?!
Kill.
Reply 19
Anonymous
Yeah well if you're not careful making men come before sex often means you don't get any sex. They're useless, they only have so many goes in them per day. He sounds crap to me.
I'm the OP btw. I told him this, because it's happened before, he came before sex and then rolled over and went to sleep...
He just said "that doesn't happen ALL the time"
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