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    Help/Advise needed. Lost in life...

    I have been with my gf for nearly 5 years, I am 26 and she is 28 now. But unfortunately she is married, well she was already married with kids when i met her and i was single. I met her at work place we become friends and started texting and we really got on and it was great. We used to share our life stories and etc. Her marriage wasn't working out and she was with that guy for the sake of kids, her husband cheated, well thats what shes told me and they argue every single day. She was forced to get married by her family.*

    Well I knew the outcome of this relationship but I kept dragging. We slept we used to go out i used to go to her house while husband was there because he knows we are friends.

    Anyways I then had to go aborad to see a girl because of my family Pressure, i even said no but then back in oct 2013 I went, I got engaged back here in 2 weeks but on my engagement day my gf i messaged my gf and she was in hospital, her cousin replied saying leave her alone her dad passed away n she hurt herself coz of me and shes in hospital. And then i wrote I am worried for her and tc of herself. Me and my dad was staying at my fianci house so she seen me texting someone so she grabbed my phone. Then all the drama started. I called my dad in the room so we had to tel him but i had to lie saying she's just a friend n her dad passed away and all that and for that 2 weeks i stopped talking to my gf and i was pretending i am happy with my fianci coz my family found out and my sister rang my gf to say leave me alone and all that.

    And then i got married in jan 2014 and went back in feb. I was still with her Now my marriage is f****d as well. and my mrs is here to. She came in Nov.*

    So well within these years i fell deeply in love with my gf eventho she is married. She's been telling me she stopped sleeping with her husband since i came in her life and obviously i aint slept with my mrs too. Coz me and my mrs been arguing too much as well and my family knows i am not happy at all. And they wouldn't accept my gf and now we been arguing (me and my gf) most of the times and keep talking about her my mrs issues or her husband issues.

    We broke may be 10 times stopped talking and get back togther but last few days i feel that she doesn't care anymore., in a way she does but she goes i am strong enough to control herself. But myself i cry i beg i say sorry and apologies everytime eventho If its not my fault.*

    Last night she goes she wants to be here as a friend and she doesn't want to be in relationship but she goes we can meet but we ll stop sleeping. But what does that mean. After spending that many years. I keep going back to her, i really love her

    I know this relationship is based on cheating But i just love her so much. And we work at the same place. I can't stop thinking about it. I keep crying.*

    I now feel she doesn't care about me anymore or my feeelings. She goes to me last night if she wanted to mess about she wouldn't stay here for that many years and most of the people knows at work too but we didnt cared we carried on.

    Now i just don't know what to do, i am just a lost person. I Don't know where to go. I dont feel like going home to coz my family keep asking things and plus my mrs. I am just getting depressed and i am really upset. I go home don't talk much.

    We ve been going out since 5 years and i got married last year. I love her so much need help and advice coz i can't stop thinking about her.

    I am really sorry for ranting this much but i really appreciate for taking your time out to read my sad life. Please i need advice. I don't know what to do where to go. Please help.
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    Anyone help please
 
 
 
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