I began seeing this guy I work with about 6 months ago, he was the one that showed his interest in me first and kept asking me out. I was hesitant at first because he is quite a few years older than me and because we work together but in the end decided to give it a go.
The first few months were great and he made me feel amazing when I was with him and so happy, yet he also upset me and made me cry so many times too. For example; there was one time we were out with friends drinking and having fun and suddenly he got annoyed over something (he never told me what) and just stood up and walked out the pub, no explanation or anything, just got in a taxi and left. There have also been times when he has said some really hurtful things too, e.g. He wished his life could go back to a time when it was simple, before he ever met me. He has always apologised the next day and I have always forgiven him.
During this 6 month he has also told me on a few occasions that he isn't ready for a 'proper' relationship, that he respects me and knows that I have put up with his nonsense and acknowledges that that is not an easy task but just isn't ready for a proper relationship yet. We have never been out on a date, he has never bought me anything (even though I have bought him quite a few presents), he never wants to give me a hug, every time I try to hug him, he says he's busy or has to go check on something or someone is waiting to give him a lift so he needs to leave. However on the other hand I have met a few of his friends, all who have said that I clearly make him happy and that I'm good for him, he also invited me to his mum's for Christmas..
Now, I can't work out if I'm just being dramatic, (2014 was an incredibly tough year for me having lost two people who I was very close to within 6 weeks of each other and have struggled quite a bit with depression since so often see the worst in situations) or if he's just using me for sex. I really do like him and things like him not buying me stuff doesn't really bother me, but is a hug really too much to ask for?! I don't know what to do, he can make me so happy one minute and have me crying the next, most of my friends say to leave him but I'm still not sure?
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- Thread Starter
- 14-01-2015 03:41
- 14-01-2015 10:53
if he isn't ready for a real relationship and if he is always rejecting hugs with excuses then there is probably something up, ask him if there is something wrong and don't stop until you get the truth
- 14-01-2015 11:10
After 6 months, he says he's not ready for a proper relatio ship?.... okay, do not allow him to use you sexually when he doesn't give you all the attention, care and love you require. Don't allow him to hurt you and then apologise after, don't even make that possible. He says he's noy ready for a proper relationship, but yet he invites to his mum for dinner (but did he present you to her as his girlfriend?) If not, then he's just sending out mixed messages to you. Do not let any of his friends nor yours pressure you into anything. It is YOUR decision, your relationship, your tears and your sadness, not theirs. Next time you guys are together, just talk calmly, he needs to give you answers so that you know where you stand.
Do not settle for anything less than what you are. And if he wants you to not be together anymore, get your answers and walk away. Be treated the way you want and need to, never be treated the way a man wants to.
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