Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Hi,

    I have been working with this guy for a few months. We had been flirty with each other but i was always so confused by him because he was such a ****ty texter/he would be quite cold sometimes.

    So yesterday i told him my feelings and he told me he was straight. I was so sure it was going to work out with all the signals. Now i don't know what to believe. But at least i tried.

    Anyways, I dont think im taking it that badly, but Ive come to the conclusion that i need to change my social circle, or add to it, rather.

    This guy is the second straight guy that i have fallen for, and it can't happen again. I have no gay friends and feel like i need to meet some. Where do i go to meet other young-ish lgbt people?

    I am 22, working in Kent/London south-ish area. The thing is i wouldn't have been AS agitated if it weren't for my studies which are getting affected because of this.

    **** me, life is difficult haha

    Edit:

    I forgot to add. What should i do from now on? He took it well, still friends. I will see him occassionally at work and college. Do i distance myself? Try to stay friends? I dont know how my feelings will hold out.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Im a straight guy who suggest to stay friends with him ,but it seems that you put him on a pedestal to early.Never do that to anyone. They end up stamping on you if you show that your a pushover.Go to Gay events and parades and **** like that.Here up in Manchester we have a Gay village in the middle of the city center.Invite some girls to go out with you there.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 061194)
    Im a straight guy who suggest to stay friends with him ,but it seems that you put him on a pedestal to early.Never do that to anyone. They end up stamping on you if you show that your a pushover.Go to Gay events and parades and sh*t like that.Here up in Manchester we have a Gay village in the middle of the city center.Invite some girls to go out with you there.
    Thanks for your advice.

    Can you elaborate on what you mean by putting him on a pedestal too early?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe look for friends on the Internet? preferably not on a site where people look for sex... :P I got to know one lesbian who went to my school through the Internet like 2 years ago, since then through her I met like 10-15 lgbt people and got into some great parties where the set up is such that the straight people come out cause everyone assumes you're either l or g or b haha :P
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2710)
    Thanks for your advice.

    Can you elaborate on what you mean by putting him on a pedestal too early?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    You may have treated them in a superior way compared to yourself often mentally you over think things in order to suit his mind.You work around them rather than having mutual responsibility ,although you may have not posted it.Its common among staight and bis .You might have given all your emotions away too early.I dont know if I've expressed it right,but you can get the jist
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Just try to stay friends. I'm sure he is a bit bewildered by it, but cutting off contact only makes it seem like you were after one thing.

    If you are looking for something casual Grindr is always a shout. Otherwise you can look at LGBT support and social groups in your local area. Also the internet is a great place, I think TSR has a LGBT group. All the best.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Just pretend that nothing happened.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Ok thanks i will try my best to stay friends. Thats what i wanted after all.

    Btw i forgot to say that he had always known that i liked him. I just explicitly confessed yesterday. So it wasnt a big shock to him.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I've met most of my LGB friends on my uni course and other interests. Perhaps try taking up a hobby in your spare time or joining a university society (doesn't have to be the LGBT one)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2710)
    Thanks for your advice.

    Can you elaborate on what you mean by putting him on a pedestal too early?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    (Original post by 061194)
    Im a straight guy who suggest to stay friends with him ,but it seems that you put him on a pedestal to early.Never do that to anyone. They end up stamping on you if you show that your a pushover.Go to Gay events and parades and sh*t like that.Here up in Manchester we have a Gay village in the middle of the city center.Invite some girls to go out with you there.
    (Original post by 061194)
    Im a straight guy who suggest to stay friends with him ,but it seems that you put him on a pedestal to early.Never do that to anyone. They end up stamping on you if you show that your a pushover.Go to Gay events and parades and sh*t like that.Here up in Manchester we have a Gay village in the middle of the city center.Invite some girls to go out with you there.
    (Original post by 2710)
    Hi,

    I have been working with this guy for a few months. We had been flirty with each other but i was always so confused by him because he was such a ****ty texter/he would be quite cold sometimes.

    So yesterday i told him my feelings and he told me he was straight. I was so sure it was going to work out with all the signals. Now i don't know what to believe. But at least i tried.

    Anyways, I dont think im taking it that badly, but Ive come to the conclusion that i need to change my social circle, or add to it, rather.

    This guy is the second straight guy that i have fallen for, and it can't happen again. I have no gay friends and feel like i need to meet some. Where do i go to meet other young-ish lgbt people?

    I am 22, working in Kent/London south-ish area. The thing is i wouldn't have been AS agitated if it weren't for my studies which are getting affected because of this.

    **** me, life is difficult haha

    Edit:

    I forgot to add. What should i do from now on? He took it well, still friends. I will see him occassionally at work and college. Do i distance myself? Try to stay friends? I dont know how my feelings will hold out.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I think you two make a good match.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    He didn't really reject you if he is straight.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Meetup. Com do lots of lgbt societies. I suggest you try that for sheer numbers of different people to meet.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    A few months? If you haven't made decent headway within a few days to a week, it's gone.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jebedee)
    A few months? If you haven't made decent headway within a few days to a week, it's gone.
    Hehe headway...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    He didn't really reject you if he is straight.
    True. I most likely would have been shattered if he had been gay and rejected me. Or maybe not, as I kinda still wish he is gay/bi whatever

    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    Meetup. Com do lots of lgbt societies. I suggest you try that for sheer numbers of different people to meet.
    Thank you, i will try that.

    (Original post by Jebedee)
    A few months? If you haven't made decent headway within a few days to a week, it's gone.
    The thing is we dont see each other every day. In those few months i have only seen him probably a month or two. But even then you are right, i need to be quicker next time. Its just hard as i have to figure out whether they like me AND whether their sexuality is compatible.

    If i initiate too quickly and they are straight, will seem creepy no?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2710)
    The thing is we dont see each other every day. In those few months i have only seen him probably a month or two. But even then you are right, i need to be quicker next time. Its just hard as i have to figure out whether they like me AND whether their sexuality is compatible.

    If i initiate too quickly and they are straight, will seem creepy no?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Uhh well if this was about 2 straight people I'd say go for it and don't worry about if they like you or not. If he doesn't look like he can snap you in two then I guess just go for it anyway, you never know.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 16, 2015
Poll
Are you going to a festival?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.