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living with guilt watch

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    I've really really ****ed up some of my life, it cant be fixed or reversed - and life is better so far but people are still hurt and things have been lost. It is all my fault, and I'm willing to accept that but the guilt is killing me. I can physically feel the guilt inside me! I have headaches, I feel sick, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want advice like 'go and see a professional' or stuff like that because that's not an option for me. I just don't want to wake up feeling guilty every morning anymore, so any tips or advice would be appreciated. Thankyou.
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    How long ago did it happen?

    All I would suggest is letting time take it's course and slowly the guilt goes away.
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    You sound to be really suffering and I'm sorry to hear that. Please be kind to yourself. We're all human and we make mistakes along the way. It's how we develop and change over time.

    Guilt can be a really heavy, downward spiral of a state, and a starting point can be to look at how it can be used as fuel to resolve to change your actions moving forward. Guilt can transform into regret, which has more positive potential inherent within it. If you've genuinely done something wrong, can you focus on the learning opportunities which are buried somewhere amongst those painful feelings which are arising for you?

    Is making a verbal or written apology to the wounded parties an option for you? Maybe make the apology and then let it go. If the recipient won't forgive you, then accept that your genuine expression of regret and sorrow is enough, and that you made your offering with sincerity anyway.

    The answer begins with compassion and gentleness - starting with yourself, and then extending that to others.

    I wish you every happiness.
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    (Original post by Swanbow)
    How long ago did it happen?

    All I would suggest is letting time take it's course and slowly the guilt goes away.
    It just happened this past term. I know time will help and heal, I'm just currently experiencing really bad guilt which I can't seem to get away from.
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    It's true, time will help you heal, but if you generally feel bad, then perhaps doing the person favours or small acts everyday would help, even if it is just buying them a coffee. If they still don't accept your apology, at least you've tried and you will feel like a better person for doing that.
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    (Original post by Revebjelle)
    You sound to be really suffering and I'm sorry to hear that. Please be kind to yourself. We're all human and we make mistakes along the way. It's how we develop and change over time.

    Guilt can be a really heavy, downward spiral of a state, and a starting point can be to look at how it can be used as fuel to resolve to change your actions moving forward. Guilt can transform into regret, which has more positive potential inherent within it. If you've genuinely done something wrong, can you focus on the learning opportunities which are buried somewhere amongst those painful feelings which are arising for you?

    Is making a verbal or written apology to the wounded parties an option for you? Maybe make the apology and then let it go. If the recipient won't forgive you, then accept that your genuine expression of regret and sorrow is enough, and that you made your offering with sincerity anyway.

    The answer begins with compassion and gentleness - starting with yourself, and then extending that to others.

    I wish you every happiness.

    Thankyou so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them. Sadly its not something that can be 'fixed' by a letter. I've said sorry numerous times. The sad thing is that I'm now in the better position, its just I've put others in a more difficult position now. It's a complicated situation, but basically I did what was right for myself but in turn putting others in a worse one. They will forgive me, they kind of have to as theyre my parents. Ive just disappointed them so much.
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    (Original post by Tara_Mc)
    It's true, time will help you heal, but if you generally feel bad, then perhaps doing the person favours or small acts everyday would help, even if it is just buying them a coffee. If they still don't accept your apology, at least you've tried and you will feel like a better person for doing that.
    Yes, that is true - it guess it would also show them that I'm physically trying to help them. Thanks.
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    (Original post by sophhadji2403)
    Thankyou so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them. Sadly its not something that can be 'fixed' by a letter. I've said sorry numerous times. The sad thing is that I'm now in the better position, its just I've put others in a more difficult position now. It's a complicated situation, but basically I did what was right for myself but in turn putting others in a worse one. They will forgive me, they kind of have to as theyre my parents. Ive just disappointed them so much.
    Yes, it does sound complex and you're clearly enduring a significant amount of emotional anguish. My heart goes out to you.
    Despite the complexity of the situation, I really do believe that some simple principles can point to the way beyond. Without the pain there'd be no learning, and without the hurt we'd never change. You aren't the first to make a boo-boo and then give yourself a guilt battering over it and you certainly won't be the last! I say, chalk this up to (powerful) experience, resolve to change, have a think about how to be more conscious of the needs of others, and give yourself a cheesy 80s high-5 and a smile, 'cos you're smart enough to seize the lesson and use it.
    You'll be ok, you really will.
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    (Original post by Revebjelle)
    Yes, it does sound complex and you're clearly enduring a significant amount of emotional anguish. My heart goes out to you.
    Despite the complexity of the situation, I really do believe that some simple principles can point to the way beyond. Without the pain there'd be no learning, and without the hurt we'd never change. You aren't the first to make a boo-boo and then give yourself a guilt battering over it and you certainly won't be the last! I say, chalk this up to (powerful) experience, resolve to change, have a think about how to be more conscious of the needs of others, and give yourself a cheesy 80s high-5 and a smile, 'cos you're smart enough to seize the lesson and use it.
    You'll be ok, you really will.
    Thankyou so much feeling better already.
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