Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Just occured to me I'm a 21 year old virgin. Help? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Not just a 21 year old virgin though I've done nothing other then drunk kissing with girls and I'm not very sure why. I have a car, Pay my own rent, career ambitions, okay fashion sense and while I don't exactly think I'm a looker quite a few people seemed very shocked to find out I'm a virgin one saying "you're not exactly ugly are you" and another putting it quite bluntly that all girls go for is looks and I'm decent looking so she didn't get it. I'm not saying that to show off its just to clarify that I'm not a COD addict sweat bag who never leaves the house or whatever.

    My guess is that I'm horrendously shy around girls my age. Not so much timid shy but I turn into this robot around them showing 0 personality in a bid not to be judged. Online I'm a lot better but I still don't even know what to say to them :/ Some of it is generally my fault though I've turned it down a couple of times despite it being handed to me on a silver platter but those are just more drunken nights out.

    Any help people? Single life is getting dull as hell and I'm finding the lack of women in my life a little unusual if you know what I mean.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riberye)
    and another putting it quite bluntly that all girls go for is looks
    whoever this was is an idiot, don't ever take advice from them

    (Original post by Riberye)
    I'm not a COD addict sweat bag who never leaves the house or whatever.
    i'm a competitive gaming sweatbag who never leaves the house and i still get gyaldem wat u sayin

    (Original post by Riberye)
    My guess is that I'm horrendously shy around girls my age. Not so much timid shy but I turn into this robot around them showing 0 personality in a bid not to be judged.
    Probably this. I know a lot of guys who seem to shut down. I don't really understand why, they're just people. Putting them on a pedestal and getting scared is ridiculous. Yes, you will be judged; but everyone judges each other, all the time, on a daily basis. You don't care about other guys opinions, do you?
    No?
    There you go then.
    Women are just people with biological wiring. Relax.

    (Original post by Riberye)
    Any help people? Single life is getting dull as hell and I'm finding the lack of women in my life a little unusual if you know what I mean.
    Trust, relationship life gets dull as hell too. Eventually (after a couple longish relationships) you'll probably feel the opposite.

    If you're asking for help regarding -getting- women, first off become completely okay with not getting them.

    Backwards logic? Nope.

    Basically if you're unable to converse properly and it's -just- around women, the problem is that you're romanticizing their very concept to the point of putting it out of your own reach.
    I guarantee that if you stopped caring about it you'd probably have much better luck.

    Confidence naturally exudes from people who're fine with who they are and completely okay with the circumstances they find themselves in. Don't look to lose your single status; embrace it. It'll probably happen anyway.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I don't mean to sound like I'm shifting your advice to the side because for the most part you are right but I tried that approach for the best part of a year. A year rolled by and I'm still alone :/ Just sitting back and hoping it happens just seems like a waste of my time. I'm not getting any younger and its hard to ignore something you really really want y'know? Its also hard to embrace the single lyfe when all my mates have GF's or are players who go through a different one every couple days.

    It kind of makes me feel like an ugly akward man child. Despite being older then all of my mates and being far more mature then them.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Adultwork
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    well, I lost my virginity at 20, and I've have sex with 2 girls merely, in my opinion, because I happened to meet the right girls at the right time - up until 20~, I didn't meet any girls who I was interested in to the extent that I wanted to have sex with them, and I wasn't desperate so I simply took my time. and, in my opinion, either a) do this too and just be patient, or b) if it's not based on compatibility, maybe you need to work on your charisma and attractiveness~? or maybe a mixture of a and b - I think, for me, it was a combination of the two as well
    • #1
    #1

    I'm the same type of person, I get to know people better online where i can take my time to think about my responses and control how people see me. I met my boyfriend who is similar through bebo then fell in love over msn.. (wow I'm old). I'm still with him 9 years later yaaaay.
    Maybe try getting the fb details of people you think you would like and starting up a minor convo, dont have fb chat on your phone so that by about the 3rd convo you can make the excuse "im going out now and dont have chat on my phone if you wanna keep chatting my number is..." and then you will see if they are interested cause they will text you and it will give you the confidence to chat them up a bit more...

    That might all be a load of crap idk just trying to help!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riberye)
    Not just a 21 year old virgin though I've done nothing other then drunk kissing with girls and I'm not very sure why. I have a car, Pay my own rent, career ambitions, okay fashion sense and while I don't exactly think I'm a looker quite a few people seemed very shocked to find out I'm a virgin one saying "you're not exactly ugly are you" and another putting it quite bluntly that all girls go for is looks and I'm decent looking so she didn't get it. I'm not saying that to show off its just to clarify that I'm not a COD addict sweat bag who never leaves the house or whatever.

    My guess is that I'm horrendously shy around girls my age. Not so much timid shy but I turn into this robot around them showing 0 personality in a bid not to be judged. Online I'm a lot better but I still don't even know what to say to them :/ Some of it is generally my fault though I've turned it down a couple of times despite it being handed to me on a silver platter but those are just more drunken nights out.

    Any help people? Single life is getting dull as hell and I'm finding the lack of women in my life a little unusual if you know what I mean.
    From reading this, you seem normal and rather funny actually. There's nothing wrong , maybe you just need to ask a girl out- they wont often ask you out
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kaiju)
    Probably this. I know a lot of guys who seem to shut down. I don't really understand why, they're just people. Putting them on a pedestal and getting scared is ridiculous. Yes, you will be judged; but everyone judges each other, all the time, on a daily basis. You don't care about other guys opinions, do you?
    No?
    There you go then.
    Women are just people with biological wiring. Relax..
    I used the same quote with one of my mates who hasn't had sex since he was 17 (he's 24 now). Same as OP not really anything wrong apart from the fact he shuts down around women he want's to shag.

    It's weird really because he's an amazing wing man, really confident (morethan me tbh) but just gets nervous at sealing the deal because he puts the pussy on the pedestal.

    General rule to OP treat girls (or guys if your gay) like you would anyone else and you'll be fine. Plus they will be less likely to think your a sex obsessed creek who is only talking to the to shag them.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You've said yourself that you've been offered it on a plate a few times, so obviously it isn't as if there is anything wrong with the way you look. Work on your approach. Relax, take a deep breath and talk. Try find some common interests. Make her feel good about herself. Actually listen to what she has to say. Make her laugh. All that is easier said than done, but once you've done it a few times it just becomes naturally. Practice makes perfect. After all they are just human beings.

    Unfortunately the problem is that sometimes you just won't meet anyone you are interested in. And sometimes no matter how hard you try you won't have any luck. Fate also sometimes has a strange way of putting someone special in your path. The right person will come along, but you still have to proactive.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Same. Make it your goal to seek out loose women wherever you go.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riberye)
    Not just a 21 year old virgin though I've done nothing other then drunk kissing with girls and I'm not very sure why. I have a car, Pay my own rent, career ambitions, okay fashion sense and while I don't exactly think I'm a looker quite a few people seemed very shocked to find out I'm a virgin one saying "you're not exactly ugly are you" and another putting it quite bluntly that all girls go for is looks and I'm decent looking so she didn't get it. I'm not saying that to show off its just to clarify that I'm not a COD addict sweat bag who never leaves the house or whatever.

    My guess is that I'm horrendously shy around girls my age
    . Not so much timid shy but I turn into this robot around them showing 0 personality in a bid not to be judged. Online I'm a lot better but I still don't even know what to say to them :/ Some of it is generally my fault though I've turned it down a couple of times despite it being handed to me on a silver platter but those are just more drunken nights out.

    Any help people? Single life is getting dull as hell and I'm finding the lack of women in my life a little unusual if you know what I mean.
    Ladies and Gentlemen! We have confirmation! Riberye is officially a PEEDOOO!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DerMann)
    Ladies and Gentlemen! We have confirmation! Riberye is officially a PEEDOOO!
    You caught me bro.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Daaaaatee me!! 😁 I'm single, you seem lovely to me..




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I would aswell haha
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Seems like your the ideal guy for most girls tbh. It's just silly cos they always end up with the wrong ones and then complain about it.

    Haha I don't think you would say that if you knew me, I'm a bit too much sometimes. I never get asked out because boys are intimidated by me which makes it harder for me to find guys ..near enough in the Virgin club these days too lol


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riberye)
    Not just a 21 year old virgin though I've done nothing other then drunk kissing with girls and I'm not very sure why. I have a car, Pay my own rent, career ambitions, okay fashion sense and while I don't exactly think I'm a looker quite a few people seemed very shocked to find out I'm a virgin one saying "you're not exactly ugly are you" and another putting it quite bluntly that all girls go for is looks and I'm decent looking so she didn't get it. I'm not saying that to show off its just to clarify that I'm not a COD addict sweat bag who never leaves the house or whatever.

    My guess is that I'm horrendously shy around girls my age. Not so much timid shy but I turn into this robot around them showing 0 personality in a bid not to be judged. Online I'm a lot better but I still don't even know what to say to them :/ Some of it is generally my fault though I've turned it down a couple of times despite it being handed to me on a silver platter but those are just more drunken nights out.

    Any help people? Single life is getting dull as hell and I'm finding the lack of women in my life a little unusual if you know what I mean.
    Stop being egotistical and start being fun.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    You need social skills.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    You seem like one of those nice likeable guy that girls would like but you just don’t show your interest . Work on becoming less socially awkward around us ladies.

    I am a female 21 year old virgin, almost 22 well 4months to wait, I used to be socially awkward in my teens and would shy away from being outgoing, I have changed that and my luck with guys has improved, I now just hate feeling lonely but I am happy with my singledom #foreveralone.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 16, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.