ARGH! Rant at stupid friends

hey everyone,

Sorry I just wanted a bit of a rant coz I'm quite annoyed and upset at people.

Basically I have ME and as a result don't really go out and stuff because I cant, no matter how much I'd like to. I've saved up my sleep for ages so that I could go out tonight, which will be my first night out since I started uni andeveryones gone and cancelled on me. :mad:

My so-called friends know how long it takes me to be able to go out and I've been planning it for ages - yet they now all seem to have forgotten and have informed me they are doing other things, telling me 'we can just go out another night'. The point is I cant just go out another night as i have to plan these things as it takes me so long to be able to go out again. I dont think im being unreasonable in being mad at them, but being able to go out and socialise is such a rare thing for me that i want to make the most of it. I also dont really know that many people because of it and I cant just go out with a bunch of people i dont really know in case i collapse or anything coz they need to know how to look after me. GRRRR!!

Its not fair :frown:

Reply 1

Profesh

With respect, your so-called "friends" clearly aren't.

Reply 2

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

Me?

Reply 3

*starry_eyed_*

Thats not fair. And Profesh is once again right. Surely if they were true friends, they would understand your situation, and go out, even if it was for a little while. Don't feel to bad though-perhaps you could go out with other friends, or family/ or just have a nice night in watching a film or something. And next time they plan to go out, remind them of what they;ve done!

Reply 4

FadedJade

Well they go out pretty much every single night thats the annoying thing! And no, they arent really friends, but they are pretty much the only people i know here so basically theyre all I've got. People back home are OK about it and they understand. Having a night in would also kinda defeat the object, esp since its what ive done every single night since I came here - I didnt even go out in Freshers Week. I cant even watch a movie or anything as I dont have a TV or anything. my only real options are to read and do work. I just feel like I deserve a night off once in a while too, you know what I mean?

Reply 5

*starry_eyed_*

I totally understand what you mean hun, everyone needs some time off! Wish I could go out..I don't have an excuse not to! Anyway, have you told these 'friends' how you feel about it? Maybe if they realised how much effort it actually takes for you to go out, even for what they would call a normal night out? No one like to be stood up..make sure they know that! x

Reply 6

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

Of course you do, sure. What exactly is it that stops you going out?

I'm not up on all the abbreviations for medical conditions.

Reply 7

Wangers

hun, you have a right to be angry for sure, but just think about this:

Not many doctors even understand ME. They might not actually understand what it entails for you. If thats the case then they wern't being spitful in a way. Just explain to them your situation - how it affects you and what it entails, and how it could effect them (ie if you do collasp what they should do) BUT dont blame them at this stage - just finish and go about what you would normally do. And if they are friends a lil thing called conscience will make them do something nice for you, they won't make you miss out next time.

If they do...then the word scum usually suffices....*insert rude words here*

huggggssss hun,

I have a friend with a heart condition and its kinda like that for him, PM me if you want to vent :biggrin:

Wangers

Reply 8

Anarchy Everywhere

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

Me?

Reply 9

FadedJade

ME - myalgic encephalitus, basically my immune system is crap due to xyz, and you're immune system rebuilds itself while you are asleep, hence i sleep many hours a day. i also tend to get really dizzy and can have trouble walking because Im now really weak from not being able to do exercise and stuff. Im loads better than i was, but hey.

The most annoying thing is that they know all this, theyre all caring and worried and that whenever its little things but i dont get invited anyhwere becuase of it (which i can understand to some extent) its just really annoyed me. i was really looking forward to it. esp as im not allowed to drink but i have a couple on the occasions i go out. *sigh*

Reply 10

Wangers

yea, my friend has the same kind of problem - he isnt meant to - but does. then agin - I live in Cam and there's not that much to go out to so you're not missing out on much. Besides - people will calm down after this week - week 4 work starts piling on, and if they do this to you - are they really good friends? perphaps they had genuine reasons? just have a chat with them - you might be surprised. They are clearly intelligent and rational enough to understand - after that its about their conscience and character.

Wangers

Reply 11

FadedJade

Thanks for your replies everyone, although tbh its not really helping me feel better about tonight as there doesnt seem to be much i can do about it.

Reply 12

*starry_eyed_*

they're so stuupid for droppping out, they're missing out on a good night i'm sure! :smile:

Reply 13

matt@internet

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

Me?

tazmanmaniac

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_Fatigue_Syndrome

Reply 14

gas_panic!

Your 'friends' really are very selfish cnts of the highest order!

Reply 15

FadedJade

Well i now feel even worse than i did a few hours ago. I convinced one of these people to spend an hour or so at where they were gonna go and then come out for a bit. So i went to meet her and she was in a jumper and trainers saying she didnt know if she was gonna go out afterwards so lets just go to her thing. What the hell was the point of me getting all dressed up n making an effort if im just gonna be let down like that. I now feel ten times worse than i did to start with

Reply 16

*starry_eyed_*

aw hun thats just not on. I don't know what their problem is, but they can't go on treating you like that. You are human too! (can you tell i'm getting worked up now? :p:

) Hope you're ok :hugs:

xxx

Reply 17

Me Me Me

GO GET NEW FRIENDS! How dare they! They are all awful people. A true friend would not do that - especially when they know your situation! Hope you are ok x

Reply 18

FadedJade

I would get new friends if i was able to go out to go get them!! I dont exactly like being stuck in my room not knowing anyone but its not like i choose to be isolated. I used to go out all teh time before i got ill and back home friends would come visit me coz they knew and understood but here everyone else is trying to get to know each other and dont seem to want to make the extra effort. it just sucks.

when i was really bad with it i was so frustrated coz i was really bad and couldnt really leave the house let alone go out at all and now im better and can manage it occasionally no one gives a ****. most of them have just turned 18 and just wanna go get smashed all te time but with me being older i dont feel the need to do that but its still nice to go out every now and then.i deserve the fun stuff of uni too. More in some ways i think as ive had to fight more to get here.

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