The impossibility of group tasks. When you know that a person doesn't like you...

We have been put in groups at University to do a task. I'm excrutiatingly shy, so whenever we meet up I don't have a lot to say, especially not about the extra curricular activities which they talk about. I feel like an outsider, it's like I might as well not be there. One of the people is really nice, and tries their best to involve me, but I'm sure that the other person deliberately says things quietly so that I don't hear... And gives me weird looks whenever I attempt to involve myself/join in with their conversation. Plus we never actually talk about the task.

How do you deal with situations like this? I'm not used to being made to work with people who I don't get on with, and I know that in the future I'll probably encounter this a lot because 'that's life'. I don't want to fail the assignment, but I feel like even if I try my best it's not going to be good enough. And then they'll be annoyed because I'm not as confident, and I'll pull their mark down as we're assessed as a group. Urgh.

Reply 1

Hev456

to be honest the only way you can get over this is to join in, i don't think its that the other person in your group doesn't like you, unless you have some history with them - it could just be that they're picking your shyness as you being lazy and not wanting to contribute, which you know it isn't.

i know its not that helpful, but not sure what else i can say apart from good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Eustacia

Perhaps have a word with your tutor? It's really not fair on you (or anyone else) if people aren't even talking about the topic at hand. If the tutor knows this is happening they might keep a closer eye on group work. If the group actually discusses the topic and not other things then you might feel more comfortable about talking.

I know it's difficult, but could you try to build a bit of a friendship with the nice person? The unpleasant person is less likely to be unpleasant if you have an ally.

Reply 3

Fleece

Make an effort.

You're made to do group work at uni for a reason - it'd be far easier to do the work alone, but uni wants you to be able to do work in unfamiliar situations and be able to work as part of a team. Now's the time to learn how to do it, because I daresay it'll be a lot tougher in the 'real world' so to speak.

I didn't like group work either, and I'm still not a huge fan, but it's part of uni and unavoidable, and if you want to do well, then this should drive you into making an effort.

I had to do a presentation the other week with someone I didn't even know. It was awkward yes, but we just got on with it and made the effort and got it done.

Reply 4

DaveLawStuuuudent06

If the other person is trying to single you out i'd say, like i do alot in life...**** em! Get involved with the individual who attempts to get you involved, start circulating some ideas etc about the task. They will all know that theres a task to be done, try bring that clear fact up if people start to go off topic.

Reply 5

hannah144

If you want a decent mark just say it! You are the one that needs to make your voice heard! Talk louder than the others that make these comments if you have to, you are meeting up to do work not to chat about social lives!

Plus you don't get to chose who you work with after uni

Reply 6

hannah144

*choose (connections too slow to edit!)

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