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Liking a housemate.. awkward plz help!
Ok so I'm now living with a guy who I was kinda friends with last year. I've always had a bit of a thing for him. We lost a housemate early on and his house fell through so he moved in.
I know it was silly to move in with someone I had feelings for but we needed someone quickly so as not to lose the house.
It's been going ok except that a few weeks ago my friend pulled him when we were out at the pub. That was hard enough but what was worse is she told him she didn't want to go any further because I liked him.
We've never mentioned it since, but I feel that there is an atmosphere. He's touchy feely with most of our friends but never with me, and there are often awkward silences when we're alone together. At least I find them awkward. Today for example we walked home from a friends and on the 20min walk he spoke twice - only in response to my desperate attempts to start a conversation! (we were v tired and hungover tho)
I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if there is a problem here. I would like us to be better friends and I sometimes feel we have nothing to talk about - which is weird because we have alot of shared interests.
Are we just spending to much time together? Because our other housemates do a more demanding subject and are often not around, and then we're also on the same course and have alot of the same friends.
Sometimes we get on fine and have a few little 'in-jokes' and we watch lots of comedy together, but then I'll just feel that we don't get on at all.
How can I improve things?
I know it was silly to move in with someone I had feelings for but we needed someone quickly so as not to lose the house.
It's been going ok except that a few weeks ago my friend pulled him when we were out at the pub. That was hard enough but what was worse is she told him she didn't want to go any further because I liked him.
We've never mentioned it since, but I feel that there is an atmosphere. He's touchy feely with most of our friends but never with me, and there are often awkward silences when we're alone together. At least I find them awkward. Today for example we walked home from a friends and on the 20min walk he spoke twice - only in response to my desperate attempts to start a conversation! (we were v tired and hungover tho)
I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if there is a problem here. I would like us to be better friends and I sometimes feel we have nothing to talk about - which is weird because we have alot of shared interests.
Are we just spending to much time together? Because our other housemates do a more demanding subject and are often not around, and then we're also on the same course and have alot of the same friends.
Sometimes we get on fine and have a few little 'in-jokes' and we watch lots of comedy together, but then I'll just feel that we don't get on at all.
How can I improve things?
Reply 1
I would say his awkwardness could be becuase he likes you!
Maybe if you both feel awkward talking together how about texting him during the day and starting a convo and maybe more that way??? Both you and the guy might not feel so awkward??
Good luck
Maybe if you both feel awkward talking together how about texting him during the day and starting a convo and maybe more that way??? Both you and the guy might not feel so awkward??
Good luck
Reply 2
Hmm well I don't think its because he likes me. He's mad at me today over something really small.
Yeh sometimes we do get on better over txt, we used to chat lots on the net but his pc is broken, and anyway seems weird to be on msn to someone when they're in the next room!
Yeh sometimes we do get on better over txt, we used to chat lots on the net but his pc is broken, and anyway seems weird to be on msn to someone when they're in the next room!
Reply 3
tbh the only thing you can do is stop locking all this out in the open.. when ur on ur own with him nxt or go into his room and tell him u fancy him just blurt it out it's only way your ever know whats truely is going on and his fealings!!! dooo it even if u have to hve a drink or two b4! and if he says no then u can sort it out and yea it will be awkward but wil gt better promisexx
Reply 4
Yeah. The not being touchie feely thing is an indication that he likes you as he doesnt want to make a move which hasnt been premeditated but he can afford to do that with anyone else as he has no feelings for them. I can say this from experience.
Reply 5
Yeah with my girlfriend before we went out we could hardly talk to each otehr when we were friends. It was really awkward when we were alone.
Reply 6
Awwwww *sniffle*
Warms the cockles of your heart! ^_^
Warms the cockles of your heart! ^_^
Reply 7
Hey thanks everyone, I think the best outcome though would just for us to be friends and comfortable with each other, (incase it all went tits up!), so how can I achieve that? x x
Reply 8
Well, you really need to know how he feels about you first. If he does like you (sounds like he does) then it's going to stay awkward until you talk about it with him. If he doesn't like you then just hide your feelings for him and hope that you can become closer as friends.
Reply 9
Well at the moment, he's not even talking to me. 
Reply 10
Talking to me again - I bought him an apology chocolate bar! Still feel like we're strangers sometimes tho.
Reply 11
Id just say summat to him, by the sounds of it hell b thinkin the same thing as you are. ... u dont have to go in and blurt out u like him ... just says summat bout hows its awakard... n just see wat he says .. just ask if it was coz of wat ure mate said? if he says yes then jsut tell him .. seee wat he says.
The longer u both say nothing the longer it will go on ...
u should be brave n make the first move, from the sounds of it u were really good mates with him b4 .. so u need to sort it out coz its not like hes goin neway
x
The longer u both say nothing the longer it will go on ...
u should be brave n make the first move, from the sounds of it u were really good mates with him b4 .. so u need to sort it out coz its not like hes goin neway
x
Reply 12
17
I'm in love with my housemate.
She's in love with me.
It's ****ing awesome!
She's in love with me.
It's ****ing awesome!
Reply 13
Renal
I'm in love with my housemate.
She's in love with me.
It's ****ing awesome!
She's in love with me.
It's ****ing awesome!
Is this something you've just found out?
Reply 14
17
Relavtively recently, yes. 
Reply 15
Don't mean to be negative but he could not be being touchy feely etc cos he doesn't want to lead you on. I'm very huggy with friends & guys I like but there was a guy that liked me & I was a bit uncomfortable with it so I stopped giving him a hug etc. Altho to be fair he was making me uncomfortable with suggestive remarks etc which I am assuming you aren't so its not quite the same!
Reply 16
I say, talk to him. Something along the lines of:
'I know that [whoever] said to you that I liked you, and yeah, that much is true. However, at the end of the day, I really do value you as a friend more than anything, and I've felt that recently things have been a bit .. wierd between us? It might just be my paranoia but you're really important to me and regardless of my feelings for you, I'd really love it if we could get back to how stuff was before.'
Lots of teasing, and brotherly/sisterly affection is good here.
Yep, it might not work, yep, you might end up having wild rampant animal sex and not talking for the next year, yep, you might get married next month, or he might just tell you that you're hideous and need to go boil your face.
However - it's better than sitting in your room stressing over it, and at least you know where you stand. And if he doesn't fancy you, go out, get a guy, bring him back, and make a number of 'displays' on the house sofa. He'll soon get the message that you got over him quickly, and normal friendship could be resumed.
You'd hope =] good luck. x
'I know that [whoever] said to you that I liked you, and yeah, that much is true. However, at the end of the day, I really do value you as a friend more than anything, and I've felt that recently things have been a bit .. wierd between us? It might just be my paranoia but you're really important to me and regardless of my feelings for you, I'd really love it if we could get back to how stuff was before.'
Lots of teasing, and brotherly/sisterly affection is good here.
Yep, it might not work, yep, you might end up having wild rampant animal sex and not talking for the next year, yep, you might get married next month, or he might just tell you that you're hideous and need to go boil your face.
However - it's better than sitting in your room stressing over it, and at least you know where you stand. And if he doesn't fancy you, go out, get a guy, bring him back, and make a number of 'displays' on the house sofa. He'll soon get the message that you got over him quickly, and normal friendship could be resumed.
You'd hope =] good luck. x
Reply 17
Lol well a lot of good responses thanks, but I don't think I can bring it up now as it was ages ago that my friend told him I liked him. I think things are back to normal, I don't think he likes me but I was never really fussed about that to begin with! Thanks everyone! xx
Related discussions
- How to Make Friends with Your New Flatmates!
- Can I do anything?
- Feelings for friend I’m living with next year
- How tf do u move on
- plz help. relationships and age gaps
- commuting
- what is a foundation year like
- Roommate Dilemma
- Is it really that bad to date a housemate?
- Living with housemates for the first time
- Unsigning house with friends for a better house with strangers
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- Would this upset you? (situationship)
- RHUL undergrad looking for 1 or 2 other girls to house share with for my 2nd year :)
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