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My peers hate me, am I supposed to care? watch

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    Hi everyone, let me set the scene here....

    I'm 16 (in year 12), short, kinda pudgy and very studious. I have been this way since I started in year 7 and have always been contributing in class and having great relationships with my teachers. Bearing this in mind I've always had a lot more confidence than I ought to; a maturity and level of self-esteem which perhaps exceeds that of my peers.

    I go to a state school in one of the poorest boroughs in London and it isn't exactly renowned for incredible A-level grades (though the teaching is excellent and we're better than most schools in the area). So as you can imagine being extremely academic, well-spoken as well as a tad arrogant, opinionated and proud doesn't go down particularly well.

    I don't care about not being popular and I never have done; I'm not really a party person, I don't think alcohol or drugs are particularly cool or inviting and I've known my best friends all my life and so have no desire to make loads of new friends.

    Today it went up a notch as it has become apparent that I've been excelling in my AS levels so far in a way which my peers (except the super clever STEM students) and it is starting to manifest itself into some cold responses to my presence.

    It is taking a lot of restraint not to stand up in front of my 'class mates' and telling them where to go, but I also place little value on their opinion of me as I've never personally victimized any of them. At the end of the day it's putting a lot of pressure on me not to slip up in any way shape or form and I'm beginning to become extremely compulsive over my work and I fear it isn't healthy.

    Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice?
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    Haters gonna hate.

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    (Original post by rkhan57)
    Haters gonna hate.

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    Yeah I've just accepted it, they can stay pressed for all I care


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    (Original post by constantino_chr)
    Hi everyone, let me set the scene here....

    I'm 16 (in year 12), short, kinda pudgy and very studious. I have been this way since I started in year 7 and have always been contributing in class and having great relationships with my teachers. Bearing this in mind I've always had a lot more confidence than I ought to; a maturity and level of self-esteem which perhaps exceeds that of my peers.

    I go to a state school in one of the poorest boroughs in London and it isn't exactly renowned for incredible A-level grades (though the teaching is excellent and we're better than most schools in the area). So as you can imagine being extremely academic, well-spoken as well as a tad arrogant, opinionated and proud doesn't go down particularly well.

    I don't care about not being popular and I never have done; I'm not really a party person, I don't think alcohol or drugs are particularly cool or inviting and I've known my best friends all my life and so have no desire to make loads of new friends.

    Today it went up a notch as it has become apparent that I've been excelling in my AS levels so far in a way which my peers (except the super clever STEM students) and it is starting to manifest itself into some cold responses to my presence.

    It is taking a lot of restraint not to stand up in front of my 'class mates' and telling them where to go, but I also place little value on their opinion of me as I've never personally victimized any of them. At the end of the day it's putting a lot of pressure on me not to slip up in any way shape or form and I'm beginning to become extremely compulsive over my work and I fear it isn't healthy.

    Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice?


    The bolded sections of your post are the parts I feel are the most pertinent to your plight. You appear to have a real paranoia about your peers and a consequent chip on your shoulder so it's no surprise to see that you've struggled to connect with pretty much everyone at your school.


    If you want to fit in you'll have to start acting less nerdy and keep your arrogant flair in check. Don't put your hand up every 5 seconds and stop being the teacher's pet. It's great you're doing so well in school however there's no need to rub it in the faces of your class mates. You need a little humility.
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    (Original post by constantino_chr)
    Yeah I've just accepted it, they can stay pressed for all I care


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    It's obvious that you care about their opinions otherwise you would not have been so bothered with their reaction to you. If you put the "I'm the smartest person in class" facade away and spend time getting to know your peers you might get somewhere and warrant a warmer reaction from them.
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    learn to be more diplomatic- this way you can be yourself and be more popular with your peers. By this I mean change your personality slightly when around different people- you probably act differently around your parents and friends anyway...
    If you are academic, don't be around friends- study at home loads and don't share results... it's easy really. plus you will probably make better friends at uni anyway
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    Thanks for all your advice, I come off a lot worse than I actually am in my original post.

    I agree I am a teacher's pet which is never a good thing when it comes to my peers. I have tried to tone it down but I can't help but answer teacher's questions when no one else is volunteering.

    The thing is I will never be popular because I'm different, which is something I embrace. The people in my class don't care about the subject and would rather talk about FIFA and gossip about people (often in a chauvinistic way). I would much rather focus on the lesson which they prevent me from doing. The other studious kids tend to bend over for the popular kids and allow them to walk all over them, not me however, they know where I stand.

    What I have started doing is offering help when they are struggling (if they approach me), they're generally nice individually but I can't stand pack mentality so I can't win them over.

    The only reason I want to rectify it is so that the learning environment becomes less negative and hostile, plus for the record I don't ever rub my success in their faces.






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    Just chill bro and carry on working hard for your AS grades
 
 
 
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