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    Hi everyone, firstly I am sorry that this post is not about relationships, I just wanted to remain anonymous and no other sections of TSR let me do that. Apologies to the moderators, if you can move this thread to the right placeI would be very grateful of you, but please keep me anonymous.

    I have never felt so low before in my life. I made the stupid decision to choose History for my degree course. Whilst at A' Level it was a subject I was good at and wanted to take further, I have came to hate it with a passion here at university.

    I find it really difficult to speak in seminars, because naturally I am a very quiet person. Often I say nothing at all, inevitably leaving my seminar tutor thinking that I have not done the reading, when I have spent hours doing it.

    Reading itself is a massive challenge for me. I worked very hard at A' Level to get to the university I am at now, (it's in the top 10 for History) but the shyer amount of reading here is overwhelming for me. I read so slowly, so reading the journals (which are written by Oxbridge academics and are hard enough to follow the argument) takes me at least 4 hours for each seminar, only for me to say nothing and look bad. I can't even find the argument in half of these articles.

    I recently received my first round of essays back, which have really upset me too. I worked very hard from a failing state school to get here. I used to be top of my year and was very respected for my hard work. Here, I am literally bottom of the class. Whilst the person (who was educated at a private school in Milan, surprise surprise) sitting nearby be in lectures boasts of his marks of 71, 73, 74, 75 and 77 , I received a lowly 55, 59, 65, 67, 67 for mine, which is a 2.2 standard. I am deeply saddened by this as not only am I one of the lowest performing students on my course, the people in my year who used to respect me for working hard at A Level and getting high marks are getting Firsts in their degrees at 'less prestigious' institutions, so I have fallen behind them too.

    It's not just the academic side of being here which is getting me down, socially I am really struggling. Here, we have our own separate rooms unlike flats at other university. Unfortunately, as almost everyone in my block either went to private school or was born with a silver spoon in their mouth (unlike me who relies on working hard), they have very little time for me as a person beyond saying 'hi' when passing me. I'm always on my own in my room, I always eat dinner alone and in lectures I am always sitting on the front row by myself (Even the lecturers must feel sorry for me). I have literally never felt so low or under appreciated in my life before coming here, nor have I been more isolated.

    I just see very little point in my course and subject anymore and have lost so much motivation, both for the course and life itself. I don't know what I could possibly do with my degree in History when I gradate even from a top ten university - most people here are privileged enough to be able to afford to pay for the academic experience of studying History, I however need a degree to get a good job at the end of it. I really wish that I picked a more vocational degree such as Finance/Economics. I'd really like to go into finance/banking one day, but with History I have very little prospects in that field.

    I realise that also it is now too late to apply for UCAS entry in 2015 for another course, so I am in a bad situation.

    I really don't know what to do. I just can't see the point in life anymore giving that I feel so isolated and under appreciated (I have even lost touch my former school acquaintances). I'm probably going to graduate with a 2.2 in a subject which will give me little prospects in the job market, which adds to my sense of depression.

    I know that I can't go on studying History, nor can I hold my emotions in much longer whilst being so isolated. I got A*A*AA in my A' Levels, including an A* in Maths, which shows just how much I love academia and studying, giving it up is something which the thought of brings me to tears.

    I recently spoke to the tutor who gave me a 55. I didn't tell her that the night I wrote her essay I was at my lowest,

    Whilst at the moment at the start of term I feel a little better having just been home (a very long distance away, adding to my isolation) but I know that in a few weeks as I struggle to read these sources, speak in seminars or go without talking to anyone that my feelings of depression will heighten and that I will be in danger of ending my life.

    I'm really sorry that this was such a long post, and I thank you if you have made it this far. I am genuinely struggling to decide on the best course of action here and any advise would be very much appreciated.

    P.S. From my descriptions some of you may recognise the University I am attending. I ask you please not to disclose it here publicly on the forum in case anyone else here/from my old school recognises me from it (they would be so ashamed of me). I am very happy to disclose my university/talk about the reality of life here for a state school educated person via private message.

    Thank you for any responses.
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    I'm very sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. From what you have said I think it sounds like you do want to drop out, and it is possible and you can start afresh. I heard it is easier to drop out in the first year than the second year. You need to speak to people you trust and your university to find the best options and path for you, maybe finding people who can help with your general wellbeing too because feeling low and lonely is awful (trust me I understand.) You are obviously a very intelligent person, and you can do anything you want to do. You don't need to be ashamed in the slightest. Everybody learns in different ways, and the way your university teaches doesn't seem to match your learning style.
    If you want to talk further, you can private message me (I'm new to here so I'm not sure how this works!)
    Please remember however low you feel, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel


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    If you are as unhappy as you say you are I think the best thing would be to switch course and university as you say you love learning so I wouldn't suggest just dropping out. I know the deadline's today but you can still apply, my sister didn't apply for Warwick until June I think last year and they still accepted her. With your A-level grades and the fact you have gone to a prestigious university (i assume) then I'm sure universities would still accept you. I'd suggest maybe ringing up universities to ask if they'd consider your application if you applied through UCAS for a September start this year.
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    I am really sorry and saddened by your post. My brother was in a very similar situation, although academically not so great - he was a BTEC student with no A levels. However, getting to the point, he started Philosophy in a top 10 prestigious uni but over the year became more and more depressed - he hated the course and was continually told by other students (mostly public schooled I might add), he had no right to be there. At about this time he almost dropped out until it was suggested he looked at transferring. He applied for a transfer and switched to Crime & Criminal Justice, starting in year 1 in the September - albeit at the same university, but he is actually loving it now. The students he sees daily on this course are completely different to the heads up their own backside types he was surrounded by in Philosophy, and his background is completely irrelevant his new group. They are so much more grounded and genuinely much nicer people. Grades are not constantly boasted about and so he feels less intimidated although we have all pressed home to him that as long as he feels he has given it his best shot, his final grade is something to be proud of - no matter what that is. He has come to realise there is so much more to life than just being able to boast about getting a first class degree. Nobody likes boasters and the reality of it is, nobody cares. Being happy and fulfilled is far more important to him. Having met so many pretentious types who believe they are so much better is now something that amuses him - and not in a way they should be proud of. If your friends cannot be supportive and encouraging, and you are made to feel ashamed, then they are not really friends. Like the advice above, I would look at transferring into year 1 of another course if you really do not want to continue history, whether that be in your current University or a different one. Just make some calls - its your life and you need to do what is best for you - nobody else. Please try to stay positive, look after yourself and don't let others put you down. Wishing you all the best
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    Sounds pretty similar to my situation. You can drop out and reapply, too much is made of the January 15th deadline. Seems you're incredibly unhappy and despising every aspect of Uni. Drop out now and avoid a bit of debt as well as clearing your head and going for something you know you'll enjoy. Because you're a late application (if you decide to reapply) you have till June 29th to consider what courses you wanna do. Late apps are late regardless of date submitted after deadline. I'd recommend you dropped out and reapplied, most Uni's accept late applications.
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Sounds pretty similar to my situation. You can drop out and reapply, too much is made of the January 15th deadline. Seems you're incredibly unhappy and despising every aspect of Uni. Drop out now and avoid a bit of debt as well as clearing your head and going for something you know you'll enjoy. Because you're a late application (if you decide to reapply) you have till June 29th to consider what courses you wanna do. Late apps are late regardless of date submitted after deadline. I'd recommend you dropped out and reapplied, most Uni's accept late applications.
    Does Student Finance still fund you if you choose to do this? I have a weird feeling they don't, but again it's only a feeling not based, any bit, on knowledge.
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    (Original post by iAmanze)
    Does Student Finance still fund you if you choose to do this? I have a weird feeling they don't, but again it's only a feeling not based, any bit, on knowledge.
    Yeah they do, but you lose your "gift year".
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    Trust me, there are so many people who switch to a different course and love it.

    -You can ask the high-ups at your uni about switching to a different course, or you can apply to a different uni and course through UCAS. Even if you apply late this cycle you can still get in somewhere great.

    -Honestly it sounds like you're a little defensive about being from a bad state school - you may have a lot of people from public schools in your year but the disparity does even out after a little while, and the general stereotypes about them being stuck up and dismissive just aren't true; they might be true for a certain group of people but they're not true on the whole. People aren't going to care where you came from; you were good enough to get there!
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    I'm sorry to hear this, things will get better though , I suggest maybe finding out if you can switch courses within the university, to one you would enjoy more, you certainly have the grades for it

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I received a lowly 55, 59, 65, 67, 67 for mine, which is a 2.2 standard.

    [...]

    I realise that also it is now too late to apply for UCAS entry in 2015 for another course, so I am in a bad situation.

    [...]

    I really don't know what to do. I just can't see the point in life anymore giving that I feel so isolated and under appreciated (I have even lost touch my former school acquaintances).
    Hi there,

    Sorry to see that you're not coping so well at university at the moment.

    I can see that a few others have replied already, so I'd like to reiterate eantonina and other's posts. I thought that I might address three points that I picked up on, all of which I've quoted above.

    Are you sure that that's a 2:2 standard? It looks like those grades would average out to 2:1 as presumably it's a 61% grade marker for 2:1? Don't feel bad when others get better results, if anything they're asses for gloating. What you should do is actively seek feedback on how you could have improved so that you know for next year.

    You're not too late to apply for UCAS! You'd need to contact the university and ask if you can apply as it'll now be down to university discretion. If you do want to change universities or courses then start asking around. You might even be able to transfer into the second year of another university. - I applied to another university after Easter break for my second university then transferred for September.

    Please don't feel like giving up on everything and life. Everything will be okay, no matter what path you take now.

    First of all, I'd ask your course leader or tutor for a chat and then talk through what you've said here. They'll help. If that doesn't help you at all, then perhaps go and see an SU or University advisor.

    If then they can't help you, then I'd look at universities to transfer to. But *continue* the year to get the first one out of the way. You'd only get a Cert.HE at the end, which is still a HE qualification. Then you could apply via UCAS and either start year one again or continue into year two elsewhere.

    Hope this has helped and good luck, please do let us know how you get on.
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    You're a first year, right? A few bad essays don't mean you'll graduate with a 2.2. Just learn from your mistakes and try to improve!


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    Why is everyone calling her essay results bad? 65, 67 and 67 are pretty damn good. I'm also doing History and only got a 58 on my first essay
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    (Original post by kaizzu)
    Why is everyone calling her essay results bad? 65, 67 and 67 are pretty damn good. I'm also doing History and only got a 58 on my first essay
    :yes: I'm happy when I get a 2:1, or closer to 1st (though my uni works on letter based grades for some unknown reason).
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    (Original post by iAmanze)
    Does Student Finance still fund you if you choose to do this? I have a weird feeling they don't, but again it's only a feeling not based, any bit, on knowledge.
    As best to my knowledge they do I had dropped out of uni in 2011 and re-enrolled elsewhere the following year, and as of late I haven't heard anything to the contrary, so I think they still do.
 
 
 
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