Is it me or her?

I'm female by the way, and its not a relationship question just to be clear. probably gonna be a long post so bare with me.

well i've known this friend since we were 11, we met on the first day of secondary school, and we were in a group of friends for the first few years until these other girls started bullying me and i left them alone. but me and this friend stayed friends but didn't hang out with each other.

now we're in college and we've hung around with each other everyday at lunch and break, mainly because we knew each other from the start but now, at least for me, its because i've made no other friends. whereas shes made a few that she does hang out with when i'm not there.

now she seems avoidant of me, i mean she's never really been one for hanging out and socialising, and we hardly ever speak during holidays, even over the summer we speak only a few times. once during the hols we went ice skating, and said we'd to do it again 'soon', but when i asked her she was always 'busy' and by the middle of the hols i couldn't be bothered to pester her anymore and didn't hear from her until we went back to college. last week i asked her bowling and the night before we were going she texted me and said she 'couldn't be bothered to go', next week i asked again and she'd magically managed to get some overtime at work. and the latest thing is she said she was going to not be around at lunch some time this week because shes going down to the post office, which is just down the road from college, and didn't ask if i felt like going with her.

now i've never been one to keep friends. this may sound like a bit pathetic but all through primary i had a 'best friend' for about a year and then they'd all just tell me to p*ss off basically and i'd move onto someone else, and so on. with secondary school as i said before i was being bullied until year 9 when i left the girls alone, and went with two other girls until we left. now in college i've found it really hard to make friends at all, and only have people that i talk to in lessons, but don't feel i could ask to lunch as they all have their own groups of friends outside lessons.

now this is making me really depressed, as i'm pretty used to people just getting bored of me, but i thought i'd finally found someone to 'stick around' so to speak. i know, and i've been told by people, that i'm way too judgemental and critical of other people (that i'm sure i got from being bullied, because i learnt to fight back), but thats just me and i feel i can't help it, even when i try and keep my mouth shut. but i really don't want to lose this friend. i reckon i have a total of 3 other friends that i could hang out with outside college if i wanted.

is it me, that she just can't be bothered with me anymore? or is it her being herself that she doesn't like to socialise? from the outside, what does anyone else think?

Reply 1

Amberoo

Not sure but I think its time you forced yourself to have a bit more confidence and ask these people you like to lunch, if she can't give you the time of day shes not worth it!! and if these people say no to lunch, **** them ur better off without them!!

Reply 2

Misogynist

On the first day of uni be a social monster and become a part of one of the groups otherwise you'll be left behind. If you havent already done this, find a group and slowly assimilate into it.