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What should I do to tame my friend? watch

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    I have a friend who is 18 years old and is quite plain. We go out fairly often sometimes just to the pub but there is a massive issie in that she can't control herself.
    Last weekend she got really really really wasted and ended up spending the night with a random turkish guy in his flat no where near town. She does this kind of thing regularly. It is very dangerous.
    Also she is sick almost every time she goes out and its nearly always on herself in a public place ie. McDonald's, and so we get kicked out. This happens every time.
    Lastly she is always really rude when she comes to my house. The other day she fell into my wardrobe and broke it at 4am and didn't even apologise.

    How can I help her?
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    Why does it matter if the guys Turkish? Are you racist?


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    (Original post by quinlov)
    I have a friend who is 18 years old and is quite plain. We go out fairly often sometimes just to the pub but there is a massive issie in that she can't control herself.
    Last weekend she got really really really wasted and ended up spending the night with a random turkish guy in his flat no where near town. She does this kind of thing regularly. It is very dangerous.
    Also she is sick almost every time she goes out and its nearly always on herself in a public place ie. McDonald's, and so we get kicked out. This happens every time.
    Lastly she is always really rude when she comes to my house. The other day she fell into my wardrobe and broke it at 4am and didn't even apologise.

    How can I help her?
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    Doesn't sound like a person you should call a friend ....don't be dragged into her problems

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    (Original post by realunited)
    Doesn't sound like a person you should call a friend ....don't be dragged into her problems

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    But she is my friend and doesn't have many other friends so I can't really ditch her

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    (Original post by quinlov)
    But she is my friend and doesn't have many other friends so I can't really ditch her

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    What about the Turkish guy, did they stay friends?


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    (Original post by channies)
    What about the Turkish guy, did they stay friends?


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    I think so. When I say 'friends' I really mean friends with benefits. She sleeps around quite a lot and has lots of 'friends' in that way

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    Just stop hanging around with her.
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    (Original post by quinlov)
    I have a friend who is 18 years old and is quite plain. We go out fairly often sometimes just to the pub but there is a massive issie in that she can't control herself.
    Last weekend she got really really really wasted and ended up spending the night with a random turkish guy in his flat no where near town. She does this kind of thing regularly. It is very dangerous.
    Also she is sick almost every time she goes out and its nearly always on herself in a public place ie. McDonald's, and so we get kicked out. This happens every time.
    Lastly she is always really rude when she comes to my house. The other day she fell into my wardrobe and broke it at 4am and didn't even apologise.

    How can I help her?
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    No offense, but your friend sounds like an alcoholic.
    I think the best thing is to tell her to cut back on the drinking because she's clearly getting to some unhealthy situations (puking all the time in public, etc.). Suggest doing some non-drinking social activities. If she doesn't want to, then that's her problem.
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    (Original post by quinlov)
    I have a friend who is 18 years old and is quite plain. We go out fairly often sometimes just to the pub but there is a massive issie in that she can't control herself.
    Last weekend she got really really really wasted and ended up spending the night with a random turkish guy in his flat no where near town. She does this kind of thing regularly. It is very dangerous.
    Also she is sick almost every time she goes out and its nearly always on herself in a public place ie. McDonald's, and so we get kicked out. This happens every time.
    Lastly she is always really rude when she comes to my house. The other day she fell into my wardrobe and broke it at 4am and didn't even apologise.

    How can I help her?
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I would tell (sober) her that you don't want to hang out, or even associate yourself if you feel you need to be harsher, until she gets her act together. If this is just how she is, you may need to consider that at this point in her life (or for the rest of her life) she's not the kind of person you could handle being friends with.
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    Its her choice how she behaves and you can't change her, you could try to have a word with her about it when she's sober, and see what she says, but ultimately, its her choice whether she continues the way she does or not, and if you don't like the person she chooses to be, you don't have to be her friend. Its not up to you to feel responsibile for her or guilty because she doesn't really have anyone else... she needs to learn to take responsibility for herself. Perhaps its the way she conducts herself that means people aren't inclined to be friends with her.

    You can't change her, you can only change yourself and how you choose to respond to her behaviour. At the moment you're choosing to go along with what she's doing and in doing so, you're essentially validating and condoning that behaviour. You don't have to, her actions are not your responsibility. You certainly shouldn't be putting yourself in any dangerous situations out of a sense of duty to her.... you're no use to anyone if you're both in danger.

    In all honesty, this friendship sounds toxic and if she's happy carrying on the ways she's going, I think you should cut ties with her.
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    That is not good. Don't be affected by her. Watch the company you keep!
 
 
 
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