Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Going on dates with multiples Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I currently like a few girls. I went on dates with two different girls and I am set for dates for another two.Ive gotten to know all of them to a decent level but obviously Im still not sure whos right for me.
    Until we are bf or gf I plan to continue to see these people.

    Is it alright what I am doing or should I just decide already?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's fine if you're just dating and it's not really serious yet. So long as they don't think you're exclusive then crack on!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    I think it's fine if you're just dating and it's not really serious yet. So long as they don't think you're exclusive then crack on!
    its just often like when I told one girl tonight theyre not impressed and they make me decide one or another

    kinda crap when im only getting to know them. and once you make the choice of the other person youre stuck with them.no one likes to be second best.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    its just often like when I told one girl tonight theyre not impressed and they make me decide one or another

    kinda crap when im only getting to know them. and once you make the choice of the other person youre stuck with them.no one likes to be second best.
    Tell them that you are in the process of deciding one or another. That is what dating is - to get to know someone before you are official. Tell them that they would also be welcome to seeing other people too - you're not official, I don't understand what the problem is.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Many seem to be into dating a few at the same time. Not sure if I agree, but I suppose it gives you the chance to select the best person for you.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Nothing wrong with it dude, I do it. Just make sure you stay faithful to the one you end up with!
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    If they're aware with what you're doing, then I don't see a problem with it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    no one likes to be second best.
    Exactly. I think it depends how you put it. If you are making it obvious you are 'looking to see what's on offer' it might make them feel a bit weird, and 'second best' as you put it.

    Nothing wrong with dating multiple people obviously, as long as nothing is exclusive you should go for it! Important to make that clear, so as not to string them along, but no need to rub it in their faces.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Of course it's fine. You can continue to see as many people as you like, you don't need to stop at any point. I don't get this obsession with limiting yourself to one person at a time, as if one woman is enough to satisfy a man.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by stargirl63)
    Tell them that you are in the process of deciding one or another. That is what dating is - to get to know someone before you are official. Tell them that they would also be welcome to seeing other people too - you're not official, I don't understand what the problem is.
    the problem being that most girls dont like to share...
    and dont like of me seeing others whilst seeing them even I encourage them to do so too.honestly right now im not overly pushed on a GF so it suits me just fine.but I think the gals have a different idea...

    even my mate who dates everyone on okcupid.she...expects her men to be loyal to her

    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    Many seem to be into dating a few at the same time. Not sure if I agree, but I suppose it gives you the chance to select the best person for you.
    why dont yeh agree:?
    (Original post by Milanikins)
    Nothing wrong with it dude, I do it. Just make sure you stay faithful to the one you end up with!
    yeh if theres one special one ..il happily do that!

    (Original post by OU Student)
    If they're aware with what you're doing, then I don't see a problem with it.
    yeh think its a case of not rubbing it in their faces too
    (Original post by rotkäppchen)
    Exactly. I think it depends how you put it. If you are making it obvious you are 'looking to see what's on offer' it might make them feel a bit weird, and 'second best' as you put it.

    Nothing wrong with dating multiple people obviously, as long as nothing is exclusive you should go for it! Important to make that clear, so as not to string them along, but no need to rub it in their faces.
    how do I put it then?
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    yeh think its a case of not rubbing it in their faces too
    Yup. No need to go on about it every 5 minutes. But let them know where you and they stand. If they don't like it, that's fine and that's it.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OU Student)
    Yup. No need to go on about it every 5 minutes. But let them know where you and they stand. If they don't like it, that's fine and that's it.
    Grand.its just strange.you know they like yeh but theyre holding back as theyre not the only ones.

    anyways look cheers for the advice.hows life treating yeh yourself?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I can't date a guy who's also dating a few other girls,it just would never work out,the exception being if I really liked it.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I can't date a guy who's also dating a few other girls,it just would never work out,the exception being if I really liked it.
    hmm so youd never go on dates with different people at once then:?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    hmm so youd never go on dates with different people at once then:?
    Nah I don't think so
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Nah I don't think so
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5qU7p7yOY8
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I can't date a guy who's also dating a few other girls,it just would never work out,the exception being if I really liked it.
    I couldn't either. Would confuse me as much as that sounds insane & also become very tiring/draining!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    I couldn't either. Would confuse me as much as that sounds insane & also become very tiring/draining!
    Its fine. You just have to be careful when you're texting and calling. At one point I was talking to 12 people. Dating 8. Casual relationships with 2.

    I was going for a first date with one of them. I ran out of change for the car park in town when I got there. Pressed the wrong name on my phone and wrong girl. "Yeh do you know where the car park is at the end of such and such a road? could you come there and lend me a pound?"

    "How can I do that when i'm at home in Didcot"

    The penny dropped at that point.

    Weird thing is the girl whom I met that night shes not become my best friend and flat mate.....what?

    But ive settled on one and cut all the rest off. So all is good
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    I think it's fine if you're just dating and it's not really serious yet. So long as they don't think you're exclusive then crack on!
    What about where sex is involved? :beard:

    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    once you make the choice of the other person youre stuck with them.no one likes to be second best
    Depends how you approach it really, and how far things go. I see pride as a vice personally, and put my own patience/humility to the test recently by standing back and allowing a girl I had dated, boinked, and then fallen out with, to continue to date a guy she'd started dating in the week or two in between, once her and I made up, without attempting to interfere; I knew he was a better dating prospect for her, and seemed like a sweet guy (if never likely to last with her, given the fact he was an eager to please type and she's a bit of a wild one), so I did the honourable thing, and also didn't ask her to chose between us (that would be pathetic, live and let live)

    (Original post by rotkäppchen)
    Important to make that clear, so as not to string them along, but no need to rub it in their faces
    I often make it clear to girls when I sense that they are expecting exclusivity but I'm not down for that/not yet there; past experience has taught me that to assume silence means they're casual/there will be no upset if you go ahead and root them, and then fool around with others, is often extremely wishful thinking, and frankly unethical :rolleyes:

    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I can't date a guy who's also dating a few other girls,it just would never work out,the exception being if I really liked it.
    Exception being if you really liked it? Huh? :confused:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    What about where sex is involved? :beard:

    Depends how you approach it really, and how far things go. I see pride as a vice personally, and put my own patience/humility to the test recently by standing back and allowing a girl I had dated, boinked, and then fallen out with, to continue to date a guy she'd started dating in the week or two in between, once her and I made up, without attempting to interfere; I knew he was a better dating prospect for her, and seemed like a sweet guy (if never likely to last with her, given the fact he was an eager to please type and she's a bit of a wild one), so I did the honourable thing, and also didn't ask her to chose between us (that would be pathetic, live and let live)

    I often make it clear to girls when I sense that they are expecting exclusivity but I'm not down for that/not yet there; past experience has taught me that to assume silence means they're casual/there will be no upset if you go ahead and root them, and then fool around with others, is often extremely wishful thinking, and frankly unethical :rolleyes:

    Exception being if you really liked it? Huh? :confused:
    If I really liked him * I will never fall into that trap again even I like the guy a lot.
    Oh ze german has returned! 😒
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 18, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.