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Are these good reasons to end a relationship? Watch

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    I've been in a long-term relationship for the last 3 years. We're both students at different Universities -- there's a 1 hour train ride between us, just for some context.

    Up until recently, everything has been fine and dandy. But recently, things feel a bit "off".

    While I'm with her, everything -- for the most part -- is great, minus a few tiffs here and there. But then when we're apart, I find it really hard to find the motivation to stay in touch -- I know this makes me sound like a ****, but it's the truth.

    And because she was my first, I get this feeling in the back of my head that now is the time to end things while I'm at the "right age" (20) to enjoy being single. And by that I don't mean sleeping around; I mean having no commitments so I can throw myself into everything else that's going on, and being able to do things like travelling without a second thought.

    Finally, and probably biggest of all, because she's my first I've never (in the back of my head) wanted this to be my only relationship. I've always known we'd break up at some point.

    Despite all of this, I'm still in love with her -- and I know if we broke up I'd miss her like crazy.

    Muddled isn't even the word. What should I do? Anyone been in a similar situation?
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    No offence, but it doesn't sound like you're in love with her.
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    (Original post by Dr Pesto)
    No offence, but it doesn't sound like you're in love with her.
    Which is a good enough, and probably the most logical, reason to end it.
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    Yes these are good enough reasons. If you don't love her, don't keep her. Simple.
    You will only delay the break up and with more time being together either (a) She will realise and she will leave you (b) You'll break up and it'll hurt you both more as you would have build even more memories together.
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    You don't sound happy at all, which is good enough reason to end it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in a long-term relationship for the last 3 years. We're both students at different Universities -- there's a 1 hour train ride between us, just for some context.

    Up until recently, everything has been fine and dandy. But recently, things feel a bit "off".

    While I'm with her, everything -- for the most part -- is great, minus a few tiffs here and there. But then when we're apart, I find it really hard to find the motivation to stay in touch -- I know this makes me sound like a ****, but it's the truth.

    And because she was my first, I get this feeling in the back of my head that now is the time to end things while I'm at the "right age" (20) to enjoy being single. And by that I don't mean sleeping around; I mean having no commitments so I can throw myself into everything else that's going on, and being able to do things like travelling without a second thought.

    Finally, and probably biggest of all, because she's my first I've never (in the back of my head) wanted this to be my only relationship. I've always known we'd break up at some point.

    Despite all of this, I'm still in love with her -- and I know if we broke up I'd miss her like crazy.

    Muddled isn't even the word. What should I do? Anyone been in a similar situation?
    To me, if there are reasons to end a relationship - that's enough.
    Just because you'd miss her doesn't mean you're in love. If you feel that a life without her is more appealing, then I don't think that's real love.
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    honestly op its always good to have someone on the side even if you might not love her.
    If I was you i would Just keep her there and cheat
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    Guys like you are the reason I don't date. If you were never in for the long run, why even get involved and make it a serious relationship?

    It does seem like you don't love her. You feel like you will miss her because she has been part of your life for 3 years so that's normal.

    Break it off.
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    End it. Find some locals and set up a few quick lays and you'll forget about her in a week. All you need is sex, go and get it. Don't get hung up over one person who lives far away, it's not worth the hassle.

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    You sound like a ****.

    Just break up with the poor girl so she can find someone who wants her for her & not as a stepping stone.
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    (Original post by SophiaLDN)
    You sound like a ****.

    Just break up with the poor girl so she can find someone who wants her for her & not as a stepping stone.
    This.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in a long-term relationship for the last 3 years. We're both students at different Universities -- there's a 1 hour train ride between us, just for some context.

    Up until recently, everything has been fine and dandy. But recently, things feel a bit "off".

    While I'm with her, everything -- for the most part -- is great, minus a few tiffs here and there. But then when we're apart, I find it really hard to find the motivation to stay in touch -- I know this makes me sound like a ****, but it's the truth.

    And because she was my first, I get this feeling in the back of my head that now is the time to end things while I'm at the "right age" (20) to enjoy being single. And by that I don't mean sleeping around; I mean having no commitments so I can throw myself into everything else that's going on, and being able to do things like travelling without a second thought.

    Finally, and probably biggest of all, because she's my first I've never (in the back of my head) wanted this to be my only relationship. I've always known we'd break up at some point.

    Despite all of this, I'm still in love with her -- and I know if we broke up I'd miss her like crazy.

    Muddled isn't even the word. What should I do? Anyone been in a similar situation?
    Just be honest with her and end it, clearly you are not happy being tied down. Least if you let her go she can find someone else.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in a long-term relationship for the last 3 years. We're both students at different Universities -- there's a 1 hour train ride between us, just for some context.

    Up until recently, everything has been fine and dandy. But recently, things feel a bit "off".

    While I'm with her, everything -- for the most part -- is great, minus a few tiffs here and there. But then when we're apart, I find it really hard to find the motivation to stay in touch -- I know this makes me sound like a ****, but it's the truth.

    And because she was my first, I get this feeling in the back of my head that now is the time to end things while I'm at the "right age" (20) to enjoy being single. And by that I don't mean sleeping around; I mean having no commitments so I can throw myself into everything else that's going on, and being able to do things like travelling without a second thought.

    Finally, and probably biggest of all, because she's my first I've never (in the back of my head) wanted this to be my only relationship. I've always known we'd break up at some point.

    Despite all of this, I'm still in love with her -- and I know if we broke up I'd miss her like crazy.

    Muddled isn't even the word. What should I do? Anyone been in a similar situation?



    The same thing happened to me, you need to rekindle your love again. Plan a holiday? or a weekend away? get out of the uni life, get out of the current situation and be together for a couple of days, even if you go back home for a few days, just make sure your together, and start to experience new things, like going to London, or getting out the house in general, as long as your together it will improve. With me, we got ourselves into a bit of a rut, and i decided to take her out, and stayed with her for a few days, and we do this every couple of months, and it brings back the connection all over again.

    I hope this helps
 
 
 
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